The Best Cable Television Prank Calls

3. Good morning!

The prank: A common mistake of rookie prank callers is to rush their delivery, preemptively launching a juvenile penis remark. But here we have a seasoned veteran at work; he slowly builds up to a juvenile penis remark. His drab C-SPAN-speak lead-in serves two functions. It lulls his target into a false sense of security and forms a sharp contrast to the penis enlargement punch-line.

The reaction: Complete shock. His eyes go wide and then his mouth drops open. He is a credit counseling expert. Not exactly known for the bluest humor in the world. When the next call starts off he s still so rattled he can barely squeak out a good morning.

2. Well, there s the one on Battle Star Galactica&

The prank: The caller draws from disparate themes war, robots, space aliens, deities, Battlestar Galactica in his call but deftly adds them in a way that can only equate to one clear message: I am a complete kook. Pulling off the prank call whacko impersonation is a tricky business but the caller,  Republican from Chattanooga, nails it with his delivery: a deliberate drawling voice so believable that you can almost see his tin foil hat.

The reaction: Curiosity. The C-SPAN host asks the caller to elaborate on his views of the robot wars. While it would be hilarious if we could chalk up the anchor for actually taking the bait, realistically, he is probably aware as a professional news anchor that there is currently no robot war. More likely, working on C-SPAN,  Republican from Chattanooga was the most interesting call he had all day.

1. Hi, you re on the air

The prank: Viewed individually, the prank calls here  You suck big dicks! and  Suck my dick!  can be dismissed as sophomoric insults, but the pranksters compensate for their lack of creativity with a relentless attack on public access host Ken Sander. The real question is how many prank callers are at work here. It sounds like at least a couple buddies in a room working the phones, but we d like to think that it started off with just one guy, and that one guy gave the next guy the idea to tell Mr. Sander to suck his dick, and then from there that guy  paid it forward to the next caller who hurled a homophobic invective at Ken. Whether it s an illusion or not, by the end it sounds like the entire city of New York is calling in to tell Ken to blow them.
The reaction: Surprisingly unflappable, Sander is like a cross between Stuart Smalley and Rocky. He may not cut the most imposing figure, but he won t stay down no matter how many times you hit him. And for a man whose television career has peaked with a public access show is only watched so that people can ridicule him Sander displays a remarkable reserve of dignity. He s like the youngest brother in a large, abusive family that keeps popping back up after merciless beating from all his older brothers.

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