8AM Media event with flabby, underprivileged school children from Compton High School. Punched principal in arm playfully, not like last time.
8:15AM Reminded the children of what is best in life: To crush enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
8:30AM During speech remembered that I had to decide whether or not to execute "Tookie" Johnson. Looked in the eyes of countless underprivileged black children.
9:00AM Interrupted my speech, called San Quentin and asked for "Tookie". Once he answered, said, "Pardon"¦me I've got the wrong number." Laughed maniacally.
9:05AM Asked the children "What are you looking at, haven't you ever seen a man laugh before?"
9:25AM Stopped laughing. Noticed that the children had all left the gymnasium at some point during the last 25 minutes. Reminded myself to redouble fitness initiative in underprivileged neighborhoods.
10:15AM Sex and breakfast at same time.
10:45AM Smoked stogie and digested 37 lbs of live veal.
11:45PM Took call from Jamie Foxx, Re: "Tookie" Williams. Asked him to try to imagine if "Tookie" had killed Damon, Keenan-Ivory or one of his other brothers.
1:00PM Masturbated to picture of myself from '77.
2:15PM Destroyed something beautiful.
2:45PM Jumped in the shower, got an idea"¦
3:00PM Drove to work. Asked intern if she'd like to "soap this". Advisor told me to put a towel on. Dried off in the men's bathroom.
4:00PM Picked up weakling children from school. Photo Op with Hummer. Teased daughter about her developing breasts.
5:00PM Worked on 7 year old son' delts and upped his glyco load.
6:30PM Dinner and speech at California Republican Party. Bench pressed podium before speech.
8:35PM Conference call with Snoop Dogg and other prominent black, Re: "Tookie". Don't know if it was Snoop or the weed but started to question whether or not to execute.
10:00PM Worked on Maria' abs. Asked her what "Clemency" is.
11:00PM Call with pencil-necked President. Discussed the issue of race and capital punishment.
11:30PM Headed over to San Quentin.
11:45PM Prison officials informed me that the governor does not perform the execution with own hands. Put away meat cleaver and tried to hide my disappointment.
12:30AM Slept. Dreamt of race of atomic supermen armies at command.