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The Five Most Unintentionally Funny Albums of 2006

By Dustin Glick November 15, 2006 481,994 views
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4. Amputechture by Mars Volta
Does it hurt when “glossolalia coats your skin?” Where can I find a nice new pair of “unkempt nourishment plows?” What are “castrating kisses stalactite stems?” I certainly don’t know, and neither do the members of Mars Volta who wrote these lyrics.

With their most recent album, this band version of that smartass kid in school who wouldn’t shut up in class furnishes us with 16-minute epics of squealing bullshit. After a few years of fooling 15-year old stoners with their endless prog jams and lyrics written by randomly picking words from the answers to yesterday’s New York Times crossword puzzle, someone finally caught on to their charade and literally peed on them:

there are no a's in Lynyrd Skynyrd
and Queen is probably one of the few bands that are legitimate contenders to the title of "Best All Around"

8/13/2009 7:05:40 PM
TheRunningMan

I love My Chemical Romance, but I have to agree that their new album sucked. Their first album was the best, their second was tolerable, but the new one is horrible.

7/15/2009 7:41:27 AM
GothicGeekGirl

It sad cuz dragonforce have alot of talent, if they'd just use it properly.

7/10/2009 10:48:18 AM
psychic_cowman

f**k you, man. DragonForce is awesome.

7/1/2009 4:03:17 PM
hurricanenika

And OMFG!! I'm going to blow my f*****g brains out if I hear one more person complaining about emo kids. You know what's more annoying than whiny emo kids? People whining about whiny emo kids. Geez!! Hypocrit much? And its only because everybody else hates emo kids. So your pretty much everything you hate about emo kids. STFU!! It's really f*****g annoying.

5/6/2009 5:54:28 AM
surrender314

What?!?! The Black Parade was a good album! I'm starting to think me and the cracked writers don't have the same taste in music. And you didn't have to insult my hometown like that, wasn't Jibbs enough?

5/6/2009 5:45:23 AM
surrender314

I like MCR, but The Black Parade did kinda suck...

XD HAHA. Dragonforce and Belle & Sebastian shoud duet.

4/27/2009 8:16:55 PM
DesoDhyrce

The Mars Volta is sick. Ex-Members of At the Drive in cant Go wrong.

4/15/2009 2:08:49 AM
CatcherFOX

as much as they sucked you gotta give mars volta credit for not flipping the f**k out about someone throwing piss at them, they took it pretty damn well. oh and all the other videos don't work anymore, just letting you know.

3/30/2009 6:04:29 PM
ElmerFudd

Gayinator, while you may be a cracked reader, you're also what society calls a "sociopath." Just food for thought. In other news, you chose to name yourself "gayinator" willingly on the internet.

3/18/2009 5:42:58 PM
ADHD

I got kinda pissed at you guys insulting mars volta....
But you're still awesome in my book :D

3/16/2009 7:36:54 PM
HYDR0PH0BIC

I love "The Black Parade". It's a concept album, so you have to look at the lyrics a bit differently. The album art is amazing and Grammy nominated. I also love me a man whose hair is curly, longer, and fluffier than mine. AKA the guitarist.

Hot Topic is hilarious. I get my temporary hair dye there and have to look at the stuff. The greatest moment I've had there was walking in wearing a Goo Goo Dolls sweatshirt, and then taking it off to show my Bon Jovi t-shirt. To be fair though, it was 80's Bon Jovi.

3/7/2009 3:27:14 PM
dizzypdx

I always associated "The Black Parade" with a Million Man March that had nothing to do with politics.

3/6/2009 7:20:19 PM
AndrewGxC

Freddie mercury could outsing mcr dead

3/4/2009 9:27:21 PM
irjerry3

For the record, it's Lynyrd Skynyrd. Not Lynard Skynard.

3/1/2009 3:25:35 AM
aBEA

I kind of like Hot Topic. You can buy stuff there that freaks people out. Run screaming into a catholic church wearing tripp pants and a shirt with a weirdly distorted pentagram, and you can cause an international incident. Just make sure the swiss gaurd are changing shifts. Otherwise you'll be shot on entering the square.

2/25/2009 3:00:56 AM
sweaverb

xD When I first heard "Welcome To The Black Parade" I ever even connected it to "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Pheh, Freddie could be doing anything and still out sing MCR!

2/22/2009 10:19:48 AM
Tamborine.Sam

Wait... are you saying that a dozen puppies and a jug of vanilla ice cream isn't the most f*****g awesomest thing ever?

2/10/2009 4:09:25 PM
UndeadMonkey

You can't take MCR seriously... Of course they arent trying to be 'not serious.' Its fun to make fun of them for taking what they do so seriously while being so bad at it. And of course, making fun of anyone who likes that "music"

2/7/2009 1:15:29 PM
ultimakewl

I laughed at the MCR one. Mostly out of the fact that most of my friends are obsessed to the point that all I hear is "OMFG GERARD WAAAY!!" (I am not kidding.)

Maybe I need new friends...

1/17/2009 12:50:46 PM
Chowder
Cracked stuff on