I can finally rest my head.
And when they take from his body,
I think I'll take from mine instead,
Getting off, getting off while they're all downstairs.
Icicle" is our first entry from a woman and-surprise, surprise-it's Tori Amos. For some reason, she's always come off like a chronic masturbator. Maybe it's her boring, introspective music videos. Maybe it's the fact that she appears to be masturbating in at least a quarter of the images that accompany this YouTube audio clip. Or maybe it's the time she sent us that unsolicited humor submission about how she wore down the knob on her clit-hitter. Sorry, Tori, it just wasn't right for us, but feel free to contact us with any questions. And in case you're wondering how a Tori Amos song made it onto a "Best of.." anything list, the simple answer is that we were lesbians in college.
But now you found out that it's a habit that sticks,
And you're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict,
Sneaking in the back door with dirty magazines.
Now your mother wants to know what all those stains on your jeans.
It's no surprise that this band, named after a vibrator, penned a few ditties about pleasuring oneself. The song's titular orgasm addict is so out of control that his jeans are covered with stains, which raises an important question: If you were literally addicted to masturbation, would you really be giving your jeans an impromptu stone washing before hanging out with your mom? Wouldn't an addict be a little better at concealing it? It's not like alcoholics drink whiskey right before coming home and kissing their wives. They mix it in with their morning coffee so no one will smell it on them. Which bring us to another important question: God damn you dad, why couldn't you have just been an orgasm addict?