Rhyme Crime: The 20 Worst Rhymes In Pop Music History

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15
Rod Stewart, "Every Picture Tells a Story"

 On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry,
Sailing on my way back here,
I fell in love with a slit eyed lady,
By the light of an eastern moon,
Shangai Lil never used the pill.

You have to love this verse from what is actually a great song. It has it all  cultural insensitivity, geographic fallacies, clichés and of course really bad rhymes. Shanghai Lil sounds like a Sino-Germanic hooker from a 1930s movie.


14
Steve Miller Band, "The Last Wombat in Mecca"

 There are few things I won't find,
Some are better left alone,
Like that bulldog in the bathroom,
Like that wombat on the phone.

This is the same guy who calls himself the midnight toker? Really? We're shocked.


13
Steely Dan, "Josie"

 Jo would you love to scrapple
She'll never say no
Shine up the battle apple

Would Josie like a glass of Snapple, perhapple?



12
King Crimson, "Ladies of the Road"

 High diving Chinese trender
Black hair and black suspender
Said,  Please me no surrender
Just love to feel your Fender 

Yes the guitarist wrote this. Wonder what gave that away? As you might guess from the above picture, King Crimson were never the sort of band to get the chicks, unless you count those really earnest ones in beads and tie-dies who want to talk about mellotron relooping and off-time chord progressions.


11
Michael Bolton, "Love is a Wonderful Thing"

 The only thing a river knows,
Is runnin' to the sea,
And every spring when a flower grows,
It happens naturally.

Where is our Gravol? Bolton makes Lionel Ritchie read like John Keats.