The 7 Worst Fictional Towns In America

#5. Hill Valley (The Back to the Future Trilogy)

Local Government:

Talk about a lack of initiative! After the clock tower was struck by lightning in the '50s, the local government never bothered to repair the town's most conspicuous plot device, er, landmark.


The attempted murder of Doc Brown by a gang of Libyan terrorists probably puts Hill Valley' rate of terror-related crime above that of any other small town in America. And if you think small towns react rationally to terrorism, we would like to direct your attention to the empty ammunition racks at the Pikeville, KY WalMart any day after the terror alert level jumps from yellow to orange.

Also of note, a band of Libyan terrorists has plutonium, which we're pretty sure is bad news no matter where you live.

Crime and Punishment:

We have to disregard Biff's futuristic casino-fueled dystopia, because by the end of the trilogy, it seems like Marty and Doc had pretty much prevented it from ever happening. However, even in the '50s, Biff was getting away with murder. Well, technically he was getting away with attempted vehicular homicide and aggravated sexual assault. First, he attempts to run Marty down with his car. When that fails, Biff tries to rape Marty's mother in the back of her car on prom night. Not only is Biff never prosecuted for either of these heinous acts, but George McFly goes so far as to hire Biff to do work around the house later in life, apparently adhering to the age-old rule of thumb: keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, give the guy who tried to rape your wife in high school a job that requires he have a key to your house.

#4. Springfield (The Simpsons)

Public Health:
It used to be that the horrendous Dr. Nick Riviera was the bad doctor and the giggly Dr. Hibbert was the town's resident healer. However, like all Simpson's characters, Hibbert has recently become a goofy, barely coherent caricature of himself. Whereas he used to chuckle at inappropriate times while still getting his work done, laughing is pretty much all he's been doing lately. Such lapses in focus can't be good for a community that lives in the shadow of a twin stack nuclear reactor. To see a symptom of the poor state of health in the town, one must only look at the horrific outbreak of jaundice that seems to have seized the uniformly yellow skinned citizenry.

While they can be a lot of fun to look in on, it doesn't seem like Springfield's citizens have a hell of a lot to watch on TV. By all indications, the only shows on the tube are a mouse killing and torturing a cat (which is apparently hilarious to the populace), a horrible talk show starring a children's clown and a baseball team that tends to suck. Oh, there's also Channel Ocho, but c'mon.

Getting Older:
We're not just talking about the terrible way that Grandpa Simpson is treated. Getting older seems to get pretty bad pretty fast around Springfield. In most towns, it takes until at least your 14th or 15th year to start feeling like your hometown has lost its magic. For Springfield, it only took nine seasons.

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