The 30 Strangest Movie Posters of All Time
Along with unwashed, yellowing sheets, movie posters are the most popular choice for decorating a college dorm room. Whether you preferred Luke Skywalker wielding his lightsaber, Vince Vaughn offering you a martini, or Clockwork Orange brandishing his dagger, if you went to college, you probably had a movie character watching over you as you studied, slept and explored your body quietly so that your roommate wouldn't hear.
Everyone had a Swingers poster. Everyone had Star Wars posters. But there are hundreds of movies made every year, and there have been for close to a century. What happened to all their posters? Are they still around? Are any of them really stupid and weird?
The answer (Oh lord, yes.) may surprise you.
Katherine Hepburn is menaced by two floating heads, who offer her unsolicited advice on the subjects of jogging and anal sex, in this 1952 classic.
We're glad to see a monster movie that finally answers the difficult question: What happens to all their bowel movements?
He' all pants, yet no sleeves can contain him. She' pantsless, but adores sleeves. Together, they fight crime.
Ronald Reagan, seen here in bed with someone who isn't his wife, and a monkey, who also probably isn't his wife.
Also interestingly, it looks like people went to bed fully clothed in"¦ the '20s, we're guessing.
Remember back in the good old days, when everyone assumed that mixed martial arts would be nothing but heavily-oiled dudes leaping around and kicking each other in the chest, all for the amusement of secretive Chinese billionaires?
Now, thanks to the UFC, we know that mixed martial arts fighting is basically a couple of barely-oily guys rolling around on the ground and punching each other, all for the amusement of Joe Rogan.
We guess we're just sad that mixed martial arts had to grow up.
Kind of a hastily assembled, somewhat metaphorical poster here featuring a car that for some reason is able to express pain. We gather that the black triangle represents the road, the white background represents cocaine, and John Belushi represents John Belushi.
This poster honestly looks like it took someone five minutes to make. This is the movie poster equivalent of a kid doing his homework on the school bus. Chuck Norris used to make such rad posters (see below). He should hang his beard in shame.
When she wasn't working in films, Ms. Bow rented out space on her head for local advertisers.
"Ted, it' a good script, okay! But I don't care what she did, we can't call this movie My Wife is a Huge Bitch. People won't know what you're talking about. Also, I think you've got a lot of anger issues to work out."
Times change, I suppose. Compared to most hip hop videos these days, Lambada dancing looks pretty tame. In fact, according to the Supreme Court, the only dance today that' legally forbidden is the Batdance.
Re. Burt Reynolds in "The Man who Loved Women", a pity he so closely resembles the Yorkshire Ripper in that poster. "Eeh, I reet fancy me a bit of woman, now where's me sharpened screwdriver?"
ReplyWhen I see "30 Stranget Movie posters of all time" i expect to see, you know, maybe one or two.
ReplyMaybe I'm twisted, but what the hell else can "Up the Sandbox" really mean?
ReplySo you had all those Burt Reynolds movies but not Zardoz?? Really?
ReplyDoes this writer know that an 's' comes after an apostrophe?As in HE'S or SHE'S or IT'S? Or is my computer broken?
ReplyOld articles tend to have this problem a lot. Something to do with reformatting in the various times they've rebuilt the site. It's not nearly as bad as the gratuitous scifi nudity article, in which every instance of "rn" disappears. Favorite bit: "hoy teenager."
In the Polish Return of the Jedi poster Princess Leia looks quite masculine.
ReplyHOLY s**t IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE LEIA!!!!!!!
And Luke looks like he's about to deliver a lecture on Ape Law.
The image on the poster for ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN SEE FOREVER is a reference to the fact that the heroine has a knack for making plants grow quickly (it's supposedly tied in with her ESP) -- The movie is actually pretty good and Streisand is a lot less annoying in it than usual
ReplyI kind of love that Rocky Horror poster. I`ll take it!
Replyare you kidding me? "Clockwork Orange brandishing his dagger"? Goddamn is this writer stupid.
ReplyAnd if you look directly upward, you will see the joke.
That is officially the most terrifying picture I've seen of Tim Curry since I saw him made up as Pennywise from It.
ReplyAnd you want to talk about misleading posters? Look no further than the one for the Forbidden Planet. Don't get me wrong, it's one of my favorite movies and a classic but it's pretty misleading.
Tim Curry had hairy thighs in Rocky Horror?! Either he just hadn't been shaved for that promotional photo, or I just never noticed when watching the film...
ReplyI'm too scared to even think of watching Silent Rage...
ReplyDon't be. It's hilariously incompetent. Stuff to watch for: (1) in the very beginning, a man gets a hatchet to the skull, spins to face the camera, says "uhhhh!," and drops; (2) the door-hung "corpse" of Ron Silver flinches as the door swings into the wall; (3) Deputy Flounder.
It's basically Chuckles Norris vs Jason If Jason Was a Greasy Loser.
Arnold is going to have sex with me, isn't he?
ReplyI'm sure he can do much better.
Apparently not from the looks of his mistress.
The Streisand/flowerpot poster makes me think immediately of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
ReplyPetunias!
Oh, not again...
I actually really like that French Connection poster.
ReplyThe "Mexican Superman" with the "smaller S" and "less hair" is actually the American Superman. The poster is a Spanish language poster for the 1940s Max Fleisher/Paramount Superman cartoons.
ReplyYou missed the entire point of that caption.
Come on, that Rocky Horror one was pretty cool.
Reply Hide All See All 6 Repliesif you are a fag....
Luger, I picture you jerking off to gay porn before crying yourself to sleep, while corwin has a good time watching rocky horror with his/her boyfriend/girlfiend, laughing their asses off before f*****g like animals and falling asleep in each others' arms
Scram I picture you masturbating to the mental picture of Luger masturbating to gay porn and then crying yourself to sleep as well.
I can't picture anything, because I'm pretty focused on my mastrubation.
Now that chimp is dedicated! He's masturbating so hard he can't spell properly. That's how its done folks!
Wow, Scram, you put a lot of imagination into your vindictive little fantasies. Love it.
THat Blues Brothers post has pride of place in my hallway... at least it's better than the one where Dan Ackroyd is pouting!
ReplyFor the "Top Dog" poster, I really want to know which one is tough and which one is smart. Either way, Chuck Norris seems to be insulting himself.
ReplyKnowing Chuck Norris, that dog was probably named 'Myself' so whoever is smart or tough, it ends up being him. Nice move Mr. Norris
Can't they be the same one?
My money's on the one that had a little fun playing during a movie shoot, rather than the one who spent it crying in his trailer because he was reduced to home-gym TV infomercials and movies called "Top Dog."
"A Clockwork Orange" isn't a person. How could you make a mistake like that? And in the first paragraph.
Reply... it's not a mistake, it's a joke? Learn to humour, buddy.