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The 20 Best "That Guys" of All Time
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#10
JOHN HEARD
His tour de force role as the dad in Home Alone guaranteed him a lifetime of supporting roles in mildly entertaining TV shows and movies (with the exception of The Sopranos, which, of course, is the one drop-dead awesome show he' been on.) Special Moves Reminding you of a kindly but stern amalgamation of all your friends' dads. Is a Poor Man's... Tim Allen #9
ZELJKO IVANEK
His lifeless, skull-like face and cold, dead eyes haunting your dreams. Also, because he' appeared in every single TV law-enforcement drama, including, but not limited to, CSI, Shark, Cold Case, Bones, Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, NYPD Blue, Oz, The Practice, 24, Homicide: Life on the Street, and Frasier. Special Moves Imagine the lawyer/prosecutor/accountant you'd most dread seeing across the table from you. Okay, got it? It' this guy, isn't it? I know-freaky, right? Is a Poor Man's... Viggo from Ghostbusters II (he' very busy) #8
RICHARD JENKINS
Six Feet Under, I Heart Huckabees, Me. Myself & Irene, Intolerable Cruelty, and a bunch of stupid bullshit like Rumor Has It"¦. Special Moves Talking while eating and/or always sporting an expression of detached, judgmental contempt. Is a Poor Man's... Tommy Lee Jones #7
PETER STORMARE
The Big Lebowski, Prison Break, Bad Boys II, Minority Report, Armageddon, and instilling an intense fear of wood-chippers in you in Fargo. Special Moves Believing in nothing, severing pinkie toes, and just generally giving off the impression that he' committed a couple of sex crimes lately. Is a Poor Man's... Swedish Bruce Willis (also a delicious gummy candy) #6
DAVID PAYMER
City Slickers, In Good Company, Payback, Get Shorty, Quiz Show, and every stereotypical caricature of Jewish people you've ever seen. Special Moves Bringing tears to your eyes with his heart wrenching portrayals of down-on-their-luck losers who'll never know the touch of a woman and die alone. That, and looking really, really Jewish. Is a Poor Man's... Clinically depressed Jon Lovitz #5
LANE SMITH
The Mighty Ducks, Son in Law, My Cousin Vinny, Lois & Clark, The Mighty Ducks, The Legend of Bagger Vance, The Mighty Ducks, The Mighty Ducks. It' the evil youth hockey coach from The Mighty Ducks! Special Moves Looking like he' always about to knock you unconscious with a savage backhand that' for your own damn good. Is a Poor Man's... Gene Hackman #4
STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY
Deadwood, Memento, Groundhog Day, CSI: Miami, Murder in the First, Thelma & Louise, and that one really hilarious episode of Reba. Special Moves No matter what your normal propensity for violence is, the mere sight of Stephen Tobolowsky has been scientifically proven to make you want to roundhouse kick his nose through the back of his bald, smarmy skull. Is a Poor Man's... William H. Macy #3
JT WALSH
A Few Good Men, Hoffa, Blue Chips, The Client, Pleasantville, Outbreak, Sling Blade, Backdraft, Good Morning Vietnam, that time he showed up at your dorm in college, cheated everyone out of their money, ratted them out, then disappeared into the foggy, ink-dark night. Sadly dead now, but lives on in his evil roles on DVD. Special Moves Slimy, stubborn, unethical dirt bags that you wouldn't leave alone in the same room as your kid/dog/wallet. Is a Poor Man's... Evil Beau Bridges #2
JAMES REBHORN
Meet the Parents, Independence Day, Carlito' Way, Scent of a Woman, My Cousin Vinny, the picture next to the definition of "tight assed authority figure" in the dictionary. Special Moves Filling the roles that our #1 That Guy doesn't have time for. Then, channeling his seething resentment for Cromwell into an acting style that portrays each and every character as an enormous prick whether or not the script calls for it. Case and point: in the script for Scent of a Woman, the principal was supposed to befriend Charlie and invite him and the Colonel over for hot chocolate at the end of the film. Rebhorn' Cromwell envy, however, facilitated an entirely different outcome which facilitated that completely nonsensical Al Pacino rant. Is a Poor Man's... James Cromwell #1
JAMES CROMWELL, KING OF THE THAT GUYS
Come on-you know you know this dude. He' such a good "That Guy" that he' almost actually famous. Almost. Special Moves Everything. You need smug? Cromwell' got smug. You need flippant? Well, ol' Crommie' got that too. In fact, some conspiracy theorists contend that James Cromwell is the Voltron of That Guys-that he' actually an 80-foot tall physical combination of the other 19 men on this list; a massive, indestructible character actor endowed with the specific talents of all other That Guys. As the theory goes, The Cromwell boasts Stephen Tobolowsky' annoyingness, Lane Smith' thinly veiled bloodthirstiness, John Heard' fatherliness, Danny Trejo' massive chest tattoos, and, of course, William Fichtner is curled up in the fetal position on The Cromwell' face to make the nose. The end result? A guy who, in all seriousness, has never not been in a movie. Is a Poor Man's... Anybody. The Cromwell can play any role well enough to get the job done, but just poorly enough to avoid becoming famous. In fact, some of The Cromwell' lesser-known roles include Arnold Schwarzenegger' female love interest in Commando and Carl Weathers' body double in Rocky III. |
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Danny Trejo is the most kick ass "that guy" ever. Case closed. They had best make f*****g Machete into a movie.
I agree with Pirate! Steve Buscemi is THE 'That Guy' but has been 'That Guy' for so long and in so many films he now has his own fame, but is still known to most people as 'That crazy guy in con air/Armageddon /The Wedding Singer/any film you have seen. Ever.'
Needs Wallace Shawn, the little irate nerd!
William Fichtner also appeared in The Dark Knight, so that makes 12,349 other movies.
Steve Buscemi was the all time #1 That Guy... but he is too famous now I think...
Is it that Kevin Pollak is too famous to be on the list? Or, did he scorn the list on prom night? Seriously. The Usual Suspects, House Arrest, End of Days, Tropic Thunder, Juwanna Mann, The Whole Nine & Ten Yards, Willow, A Few Good Men, Wayne's World 2 (the albino eye guy for Christ's sake), Grumpy & Grumpier Old Men, Canadian Bacon, Miami Rhapsody, That Thing You Do!, not to mention the guy does THE BEST William Shatner impersonation, and a very solid Chris Walken. That doesn't even mention his extensive television work.
And I didn't even mention Ernie Hudson! The man played a friggin' ghostbuster and a mentally challenged carpenter (The Hand that Rocks the Cradle). Oh yeah, do I need to mention: F'ing Congo.
what about Robert LaSardo? he's in every crime movie/tv show that require a mean small latino guy. despite being a relatively good actor though.
Completely missed it on Peter Stormare. He is nothing like Bruce Willis in his roles. He is a much better and ranged actor than Willis.
Forest Whitaker was definitely a "that guy" prior to The Last King Of Scotland.
no Steve Buscemi? Really? he should be #1 or #2. i mean really.
I would like to nominate Michael Des Barres. A regular guest star in 80s classics like MacGyver, Miami Vice, Sledge Hammer, 21 Jump Street. You couldn't miss him. His trademarks were an air of (un-American) effeteness and perfect (un-American) received pronunciation.
danny trejo is amazing. i cannot wait for machete to come out. as long as robert rodriguez can get his s**t together and quit dicking around with rose mcgowan and actually make movies that people want to see. like sin city 2.
I am such a huge fan of JK Simmons and Danny Trejo that they are anything but "That guy"s to me. I actually look forward to movies and TV shows they're going to be in. They rock.
By the way, has that fight between Keith David and Roddy Piper ended yet?
"that girl" is your mom
It is report that WILLIAM FICHTNER is busy dating with a sexy young girl on ___MeetingRich.c o m___, where many wealthy men and beautiful women mingle for romance&love!
Surprised you forgot Art LaFleur: Huge headed, big-jawed player of seething Police Bosses of renegade cops who constantly remind them that they are "this close to crossing the line!" See Stallones boss in "Cobra" Also (what good is no picture?)played Babe Ruth in "The Sandlot," and lots of drill sergeants.
I actually think that "That Guys" are better actors than alot of the leading men they play poor men to. Keith David in John Carpenter's "The Thing," "They Live" way better than and any voice-over commercial you hear on television.
This one time I lubed up a medium-sized pineapple and jammed it into my poop chute. I liked it so much that I left it there, boring a hole out of the center so that I could poop.
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YoshimitsuXXII
Man, these cracked writers go hard on Scent Of A Woman all the time.
"Hoo-hah!"