"Star Wars" (Turkey)
Pros: Easily decapitated Wookies! An abundance of trampolines! With props like these, do you really even miss the basic tenants of narrative filmmaking?
Cons: Glove-to-furry combat is great, but we really miss lightsabers. Also, on watching the end of this film again-um, what?
Highlight: At 2:06, our hero successfully disarms a goblin-robot, but is less lucky when he tries to break the sword over his knee:
Conclusion: Coherence aside, if the rest of the Middle East learns this hero's strangely effective form of Turkish kung fu, where a single kick can split heads in half and make rocks explode, America's war on terror is pretty fucked.
Pros: From what we understand, this is only a revised intro for what was otherwise a normal (albeit dubbed) episode of the early '90s American cartoon. Still, it does show that, if an animator wants to make things awesome, he only needs two things: backgrounds composed entirely of moving lines and explosions.
Cons: Japan! What did we tell you about tampering with our child… Actually, you know what? This is pretty cool. Can we get the whole series done this way?
Highlight: At 0:43 they give Wolverine the Pokemon treatment (communicating that he's flying through the air by showing him completely stationary in an athletic pose with lightning in the background).
Conclusion: The original's theme music is still unbeatable. We're pretty sure, however, that this is damned close to what the American version actually looked like to our little nine-year-old brains.