Be proud, America! Sure, other developed nations outgun us on every front from health care to sex robots (thanks, Japan), but when it comes to popular culture, other countries can't get enough of our shit. However, as they say: Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed for a day. Teach a man how to make local reproductions of a fish at a fraction of the cost of the American original, and you'll get, um, one hilarious-looking fish. Flailing metaphors aside, check out the 10 most ridiculous overseas "re-imaginings" of American classics.
Pros: The singer is clearly a sex symbol is his own land, and gives hope to paunchy, jheri-curled men everywhere. Also, the video's a harsh reminder of everything that was good and bad about LSD.
Cons: There is only one person in the world who can dance like Michael Jackson without looking like a seizure victim. We'll give you a hint: It's not this guy. Also, we're not afraid to say it: All the zombies from the third row on back are pretty much just phoning it in here.
Highlight: Around 2:47 he breaks into a horrific leg-locked dance-walk with a hideous twitch:
When he first twitches, you think something's gone horribly wrong with his nervous system, but then he does it a couple of more times and you realize he's doing it on purpose.
Conclusion: A pleasantly zaftig imitator makes up for his paunch by bringing the whole affair in at a svelte three and a half minutes.
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (Japan)
Pros: In 1946, Japan authored a new constitution. One of its provisions was that all fictional characters must be able to turn into robots, which in turn can combine into a larger, more powerful super-robot. Of all the provisions of historic legal documents, this has been deemed the most awesome.
Cons: Land of the Rising Sun? More like "Land of the Rising Destroying My Precious Childhood Memories." Shredder doesn't cry, dammit!
Highlight: You think the song is going to mercifully end at the 3:07 mark, but showing an indulgence worthy of Use Your Illusion-era Axl Rose, the producers opt instead to launch into a second chorus that was very clearly improvised on the spot:
Go, go Turtles! / With an overwhelming, surprising transformation! / …Our hearts combine and the miracle fusion body is awakened!"
Conclusion: An utterly heartbreaking revision of our youth, yes, but it is still, like Domino's pizza to an anthropomorphized amphibian, strangely appealing.