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Cracked's Oscar Rundown (Part Two)

Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain Lee's poignant, touching drama sparked controversy earlier this year for its depiction of two homosexuals who wander into an atomic explosion, gaining awesome strength, green skin and unstoppable rage. Lee silenced his critics by letting the film speak for itself, and later through threatening phone calls.
Bennett Miller, Capote Many told director Bennett Miller that Capote should not be made. Production studios. His wife. Truman Capote. Miller made it anyway, mostly out of spite, because let's face it, he's a spectacular asshole.
Paul Haggis, Crash As the writer, screenwriter and director of Crash, Haggis is the one nominee who most closely followed his own singular vision for a film. That it's all about not liking black people and giving continued film roles to Sandra Bullock shouldn't detract from this.

George Clooney, Good Night, and Good Luck With a Best Director nomination for GN&GL and a Best Supporting Actor nod for Syriana, one thing is certain: whatever George Clooney does, he won't stop until he's the motherfucking best. Look the hell out if you're in his way. "I will crush you if you oppose me!" as the director likes to say.

Steven Spielberg, Munich After his 1977 directing nomination for Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Steven Speilberg disappeared from Hollywood to raise coconuts on a faraway island, where the only rules were that there weren't any. He returns from thirty years of silence in Munich, a slapstick comedy about the tragic slaying of eleven Israeli athletes.

WHO OUGHTTA WIN

Karla: I'd pick Ang Lee for this one, except I think there's still a five-year moratorium on him winning any awards after Hulk. Spielberg just wouldn't be grateful enough on-screen. The guy's won so many of these things, I can't see his speech being longer than "Thanks, I'll throw this on the pile." Paul Haggis and Bennett Miller are both total unknowns, so there's no big dramatic moment for the audience. I think that leaves George Clooney by process of elimination.

Jay: Interesting. I, of course, will be going with Christopher Nolan, Batman Begins.

Karla: I have to ask: did you watch any other movie besides Batman Begins last year?

Jay: Um. Sin City and Fantastic Four. Other than that, no.

Karla: How did you get hired to write this?

Jay: I managed to turn the conversation to Batman a lot at the job interview.

Next: Best Supporting Actress

 

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