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Comedies That Should Have Been Awesome (And Weren't)

By Jay Pinkerton May 15, 2007 81,600 views
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All of our favorite comedians phone it in for the paycheck once and a while. We can look the other way when Will Ferrell slums it up in loose, runny stool like Bewitched, so long as he's still writing and starring in great stuff like Talladega Nights. Sacha Baron Cohen made Borat: if he wants to pay for a new pool with a shitty cameo in Madagascar, who are we to judge?

But what happens when it's not a "phone it in" comedy? What if it's a labor of love? What if the comedian wrote, directed and starred in the thing? What if, essentially, it looked like everyone involved was trying to make a good movie, and it was stool anyway?

Well, then you get snarky no-talents like us picking apart your crappy movie in this article, apparently. Read on!

11
School for Scoundrels (2006)

THE PITCH: Scot Armstrong and Todd Phillips, the writer and director of Old School, reteam for this black comedy! Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder gets lessons in self-confidence from Bad Santa's Billy Bob Thornton... but they end up competing for the same girl!

THE PAYOFF: Jon Heder and Billy Bob Thornton aren't masters of improvisation. They need a fun, sharp script to play off of, and they don't get it here. In one scene early in the film, for instance, Heder's character gets ambushed by two thugs who threaten to kill him. They then shoot at him while he tries to escape, and rob him after he passes out from a panic attack. Scoundrels wants us to take from this that Heder is a big pussy with no self-confidence-but the scene's played so straight, who wouldn't be fucking terrified in that situation? Welcome to every scene in this movie: mean-spirited, played straight, and about as funny as a guy shooting at you.

THE PROBLEM: Scoundrels makes the mistake of thinking anybody watches a comedy for its plot, spending one dull scene after another spelling out who's doing what to who and why. When your comedy has talents like Ben Stiller, David Cross and Sarah Silverman standing around explaining characters' back stories like there's going to be a quiz when the movie's over, you might be overthinking things.

Was anyone who liked Old School on the edge of their seats over whether or not the stars would graduate? Scot "Shakespeare" Armstrong and Todd "Bergman" Phillips seem to think we were. Guys-comedies are retarded. When a character slips face-first into a pile of cow shit, we don't need to know which cow it came from.

10
Nothing But Trouble (1991)

THE PITCH: Dan Aykroyd writes, directs AND stars in a new comedy with John Candy and Chevy Chase! (This was back when then name "Dan Ackroyd" still meant "the guy who wrote Ghostbusters and Blues Brothers," not "that really fat guy playing Britney Spears' dad in Crossroads.")

THE PAYOFF: Either Aykroyd has a different sense of humor from other humans, or it's possible he just vastly miscalculated the hilarity that would ensue by having grotesque, freakish psychotics attempt to viciously murder people in a nightmarish premise involving transvestites, cannibals with detachable penises for noses and Demi Moore attempting to act. John Waters would have looked at this script and thought, "Wow, that's fucking insane."

THE PROBLEM: Aykroyd apparently based the concept of the film around a real-life incident where he was pulled over for speeding in the back woods, then taken in the middle of the night to the mayor's house to be terrorized by hicks. If you're thinking, "That actually sounds kind of unsettling and horrible, and not a good idea for a laugh-romp comedy," you probably would have come in handy patiently explaining this to Aykroyd before he filmed a joyless, Deliverance-like movie about people getting pulled over for speeding in the back woods, then taken in the middle of the night to the mayor's house to be terrorized by hicks.

9
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006)

THE PITCH: the Greatest Band of All Time roars to the big screen in a hilarious musical comedy where they fight The Devil with the awesome power of their rock! Watch for funny cameos from Ben Stiller and Tim Robbins!

THE PAYOFF: After an inspired opening musical number involving a young Jack Black, Ronnie James Dio and Meatloaf, you can almost hear Black and co-star Kyle Gass put on the brakes and think, "Shit, that was our only idea." Tenacious D's premise (two fat guys with acoustic guitars think they're heavy metal rock gods) is, while pretty damn funny in short sketches, a bit of a thin idea for a feature-length comedy. Black and Gass figure this out about a half hour in, resorting to tired Cheech and Chong stoner gags to pad out the running time.

THE PROBLEM: Nobody involved in the making of Pick of Destiny seems to have the first clue why people like Tenacious D. Fans loved Jack Black as a chubby, lovable loser with big metal dreams. Let's turn him into a dumbassed pothead! Fans loved Kyle Gass as the quiet, mopey yin to Jack Black's hyper yang. Let's make him an unlikable asshole for the first hour of the film! (Gass himself complains about this on the DVD commentary.) Fans really dug the Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl in his cheesy Devil cameos. Let's bring him back for the movie, then bury him in so much make-up you can't even tell it's Grohl, and give him big stupid fake teeth he can't talk through! It feels like everyone making this turkey was too baked to pay attention. The only way to enjoy Pick would be to follow their lead.

Hold up, did this article say Sarah Silverman was talented?

3/19/2009 2:47:33 PM
numbersix1979

Re Steve Martin and a plumber movie: when he was doing stand-up, Martin actually did a bit for a plumber's convention in the audience that was so technical only a plumber would know what he was talking about. Funny stuff.

2/25/2009 1:38:53 PM
lonemoose34

Wow. I think EVERY one of the movies on this list has been defended by a commenter. Hey, Jay Pinkerson, how about not just making fun of things that you don't like personally and make fun of The Wickerman or somthing.

2/8/2009 5:04:57 PM
UndeadMonkey

This is the first cracked article I didn't enjoy. Me, Myself & Irene was awesome and hilarious, and everyone I know who has seen it thinks likewise, The Life Aquatic is a brilliant movie but it's a DRAMA, not a comedy. Also, Cable Guy was amazing and probably Jim Carrey's best performance to date

1/14/2009 11:52:57 PM
chauncey1973

While I agree most of these movies were wildly funny I as thought they should be. I found a lot of these films amusing enough that I would watch again if they turned up on HBO or Starz.

Harlem Nights, Ali g, and Pick of Destiny I liked enough to add to my DVD collection. (not that my opinion matters any more than the rest of these ya-hoo's)

1/13/2009 9:09:31 AM
DapperDaveIa

I agree with you on most of the films (I couldn't even stay awake during Pick of Destiny), but the entire robbery scene in which Bill Murray plays deadpan clown, and then impersonating a hostage redeems it of such a thin premise. I admit The Life Aquatic can be uneven and awkward in parts, but I never saw the characters as morons; just very flawed typical Wes Anderson characters. I don't know of anyone who didn't care about the characters, especially at the end.

1/10/2009 5:08:01 PM
clownbaby

Um... Jack Black and Kyle Gass ARE potheads, I thought you listened to the commentary. And why would that be a problem anyway?

12/17/2008 4:09:06 PM
QueenSativa

why do so many people hate the Cable Guy?! I thought it was a brilliant, dark comedy. Is it just cos Carey was in the "doing stupid s**t' phase of his career or what? Also Ali G was damn funny if you're english. It's still cheap but it's supposed to be.

11/21/2008 5:01:33 AM
Darkmage

the pick of destiny kicked as so f**k you =)

11/15/2008 2:00:23 AM
mbdecemberist

Come on, Irene was awesome! The swearing ghetto genius kids, the scene where Carrey flips for the first time to the expertly chosen tune of Hardknox "We're gonna rock you"... I ejoyed it more than "There's something about Mary".

11/1/2008 3:52:46 AM
HappyHomer

haha.. i actually liked Tenacious D pretty well. although i had to see it a million and a half times before i really enjoyed it, but it's still pretty funny.

10/22/2008 1:39:00 PM
bibliophilica

Hey jackass, Idaho (Napoleon Dynamite) is NOT in the Midwest. It's on the western side of the Rocky Mountains. Check out a map sometime.

10/8/2008 9:25:07 PM
cadylee

dantes you're preaching to the choir. there should be a list top seven movies that would be funnier without ben stiller and his akwardness.

9/29/2008 2:36:22 PM
baronzemo

It's because Ben Stiller is the second-most grating and annoying a*****e working in comedy today (#1 is his dad).

9/17/2008 10:37:40 AM
Dantès

has anyone noticed that Stiller is falling into the habit of repeating the same f*****g scene/joke in his movies? in Tenacious D PoD, Stiller's exposition scene in the guitar shop serves the SAME EXACT PURPOSE of David Duchovny's in Zoolander.

also, Tenacious D: Rockoff, Zoolander: Walkoff, Starsky & Hutch: Danceoff.

wtf?

9/4/2008 6:30:55 AM
kmsuperstar

tenacious d was awesome. they got the two best singers, meatloaf(1) and dio(2) in the first scene. it was also funny,

well, for the most part.

8/28/2008 11:40:37 AM
willyhassertt

I liked Ali G Indahouse. A lot of the stuff was over the top enough to be funny, like when they carry a current from car batteries to a safe through a chain of people and the charge causes them to do a sort of twitchy breakdance move

7/12/2008 9:13:35 PM
JohnThePawn

Great list, guys. I pretty much agree with all of your picks here (the ones I've seen, anyway). I did enjoy The Life Aquatic, but yeah, it didn't have the same resonance as The royal Tennenbaums. I did love the crew's Speedo + toque outfits, though. I still use that look occasionally. Always a hit with the ladies.

6/29/2008 6:44:17 PM
mc_ezeemac

Oh yeah and can we get over the Bill Murray bullshit? the man hasnt been funny or likable in decades. and right, seriously, Lost In Translation is one godawful pile of s**t film, its stolen, often out from under Murray and Johansen by Ribisi and that girl from Scary Movie, who are both just infinately more likable than either lead. Not to mention Scarlett Johansson is...she's just ugly. i dont understand the love...she...i mean actually look at her face? i dont see it. i, as many do, love that she's a succesful curvy girl in a skinny hollywood but she has an ugly, ugly face

6/29/2008 4:08:38 PM
noodlepie54

Yeah dudes, Bowfinger is kind of awesome.
Also, right, im sure im in a minority group here but i do not get rhe wes anderson love, at ALL. I've watched the royal tenebaums and nearly concussed myself beating my head on the floor in boredom...i mean i get what he's going for but...the shits not butter.
Also, Sascha Baron Cohen can take a flying f**k off the end of a diseased hobo dick, that man is not funny god m***********g damn it all to f*****g hell he's not f*****g funny *explodes*

6/29/2008 4:04:53 PM
noodlepie54