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#3.
Brilliant Musician Rises, Falls and Finds Redemption
Who's Doing It Next: Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez bring us El Cantante, even though we didn't ask for it, don't know who it's about and won't see it. Evidently, it's about the man who brought salsa music to America. We'll remember that when we're watching absolutely anything else we can find. Who Did It Best: We're waiting for Judd Apatow's biopic send-off Walk Hard starring John C. Reilly, due out later this year. Paul Rudd plays John Lennon. Jack Black plays Paul McCartney. We're not too worried about any of the other details of this film.
Why It Needs To Stop: Ambitious star makes big, finds coke, hits rock bottom, climbs back to the top. Is there one musician who didn't follow this format? There's got to be at least one. Let's make that movie and break up the monotony a little bit. #2.
Father Is Wronged by Gang; Kills Entire Planet
Who's Doing It Next: Before the summer ends, look for Kevin Bacon in Death Sentence, the story of a man who loses his son to a murderous gang and spends the remaining 85 minutes of the movie murdering every single gang member, reminding us that enough wrongs will eventually make a right. Spoiler Alert: John Goodman is in this movie. As a matter of fact, he's the underground crime boss, so you have to figure that this entire film is just leading up to a riveting final fight scene that pits Kevin Bacon against John Goodman. That is the exciting conclusion. Footloose vs. Roseanne. No matter who wins, we all lose. Hopefully we've saved you some time and money.
Who Did It Worst: Surprisingly enough, Death Wish III. Bronson is pretty deep into his 60s and clearly can't even remember why he started murdering nameless carjackers to begin with. Sure, there's an assload of chasing and bloodshed, but his heart's just not in it anymore. Why It Needs To Stop: Two weeks after Death Sentence disappoints you at the box office, Jodie Foster comes out with The Brave One, the story of a woman who-you guessed it-sets out on a revenge-focused murder buffet after her husband is killed. Two movies. Two weeks. One plot. Oh, except this time it's a woman. So it's different. #1.
Put Robin Williams in a Comedy, Sit Back and Let Him Work His Magic
Who's Doing It Next: Old Dogs, starring Robin Williams and John Travolta, presumably as the titular "old dogs" who find themselves taking care of twin seven-year-olds, probably having to learn some "new tricks" along the way. We can only hope that the seven-year-olds are played by the Wayans brothers, leading to whacky hi-jinks that amuse the audience until a violent gang murders the children, sending Williams and Travolta on a murderous rampage. With Williams being a real-life coke addicted parody of himself, we're pretty sure Old Dogs would have all of the bases covered. Who Did It Best: Death to Smoochy. The rest of the ensemble more than makes up for Williams' unsettling hamming. Also, Williams has never been more at home than with the role of a pathetic, washed-up actor that everyone pities.
Why It Needs To Stop: We're at a total loss for the best Robin Williams comedy. Mrs. Doubtfire maybe? He threw a piece of fruit at Pierce Brosnan in that one. That's gotta stand for something, right? Aladdin gets points because we don't ever actually have to see Williams once, though the same five or six impressions he's been doing his entire career are everywhere. Without a standout winner, it is reasonable to conclude, then, that this formula has never once worked, which is astounding considering it's been used for close to 30 years and shows no signs of stopping.
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Robin Williams should have stopped at Mork and Mindy. Hey... I'm only 20 and i loved him in Happy Days on nick at nite but after mork and mindy it kind of just got stale. Whatever that movie was where he played that weird photo hut guy was pretty good but I made it a point never to watch that movie twice. Oh and Death to Smoochie was gold but not because of RW.
@matt_fratt,
No, I like Robin Williams, too, it's just that I prefer his serious roles. I've seen Awakenings several times, One Hour Photo was thrilling, and Good Will Hunting is, in my opinion, one of the best movies of all time.
robin williams is one of the most bi-polar people on the planet. bipolar people are drawn to comedy naturally, since when they are manic they are quite good at it. the downside is.......well, the down side. however high you get in your manic state, thats how far you fall into depression- immediately after. this is why he plays the awkward, semi-innocent villain so well.
i just think people should stop remaking every movie. and tim burton should stop giving every role with any eccentricity to jonny dept for once. he can go back to jonny afterwards.
lol, the hate for Robin Williams on this article is astounding. I didn't think you guys had it in you.
You forgot flubber!
i like "Vengocide"
SegFaultOfDoom;
about the Russians... their press has a tendency to exaggerate... I'm a look for the link...
Before The Brave One there was Ms 45 with the ill-fated Zoe Tamerlane.
I also think that everyone who is bad mouthing Robin Williams is ignorant of the fact he won an academy award for Good Will Hunting. Washed up actors dont win those generally.
I agree completely with the Robin Williams thing. His comedies are just not good, excluding death to smoochy and mrs. doubtfire. He is however very good in drama and playing a completely insane psychopath, see one hour photo, insomniac, good will hunting and awakenings.
Personally, I'm more of a fan of Robin Williams stand-up than his movies.
Finally, someone who appreciates Death To Smoochy as well.
ooo yeah i agree with Mr. Putter. Taken was hardcore lol...loved it
Man on Fire was amazing imo but i actually havent seen any of those other ones
On The Subject Of Father Kills Planet. Dont Forget The Most Recent Badass Killer. Liam Neeson In Taken
i think i might be the only robin williams fan left on this earth.
father is wronged by gang and kills entire planet?
Mad Max
For those who haven't seen it. Everyother character is a gangster that needs killing. there's plenty of car chases and an ending fitting for Saw.
they forgot one formula- skinny (usually) black guy dresses up a woman, usually a fat woman
examples:big mommas house, norbit, mrs. doubtfire, white chicks, etc..
you guys should tell me what you think (out of the above) is best, is worst, and why it needs to stop :)
as far as the fathers that want revenge... f*****g pumpkinhead should win.
he doesnt buy a gun and shoot some thugs, he sells his f*****g soul to the devil and releases a monster.
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@cragnog
I totally agree. Tim can find another actor now. I like Johnny but I'm done. I don't want EVERY movie to feature him in different make-up.