11 Bad-Good Horror Movies You Need To See
WHY IT'S BAD
It's an example of using one of the two most cliched ways to spice up a franchise: set it underwater or in space. In addition, Jason X uses the hackneyed "create a super monster" formula of making an old baddie seem threatening again. The dialogue is painful to listen to, and the premise of some kind of space college just doesn't make any fucking sense. Especially considering that the class seems to think taking Jason -- who they know as a ruthless killer hundreds of years into the future -- onto their ship is a good idea.WHY IT'S GOOD
Despite all the cliches, this movie is actually pretty fun to watch. The characters hit that nice balance of being forgettable enough that you don't mind when they die, but really pretty likeable in their pre-death screentime, especially the android character and her creator, who are kind of lovably sad. And, come on, no movie in which David Cronenberg makes a cameo just to be killed in the first fifteen minutes can be all bad. Jason X also features a great scene near the end in which the people on the space ship create a holographic Crystal Lake to fool Jason, in which Jason beats one holographic girl in a sleeping bag to death with another holographic girl in a sleeping bag.WHY YOU NEED TO SEE IT
Because you can tell that the filmmakers were actually having fun making it. No one had any illusions that they were making a great movie; they knew they were making dreck and reveling in it.ALSO CHECK OUT...
Freddy vs. Jason, the Bad-Good team up of a series that is often just bad-bad (Friday the 13th) and a series that has a couple good-good entries (A Nightmare on Elm Street).
WHY IT'S BAD
It's an old black-and-white movie about giant irradiated ants attacking southwestern American cities.WHY IT'S GOOD
It's an old black-and-white movie about giant irradiated ants attacking southwestern American cities.WHY YOU NEED TO SEE IT
It's an old black-and-white movie about giant irradiated ants attacking southwestern American cities.ALSO CHECK OUT...
Plan 9 From Outer Space, a movie that almost certainly falls into the category of bad-bad, but is like some kind of a clinic on what not to do when making a film, and should be required viewing for anyone planning to make movies.
WHY IT'S BAD
Two words: Uwe Boll. This is the first of his continually declining movies based on video games, and it lives up (down?) to the standard. The movie looks like it was shot through a thin sheet of steel wool, and the story is so non-existant that it's barely even worth mentioning. Also, Boll's trend of making once-respectable actors embarrass themselves is upheld here too, in that Das Boot's Jurgen Prochnow makes a complete ass of himself here.WHY IT'S GOOD
Because, unlike all of Boll's other movies, the campy awfulness on display is actually pretty entertaining. Watch this trailer to see what I'm talking about. Just try not laughing at the opening narration ("AWFUL zombies!") or the number of times it's mentioned that the Crazy Spanish Pirate Who Was Banished From Spain was banished from Spain or the godawful acting during the leading man's big scene. That's pretty much the whole movie. Well, that plus a 20-minute scene of people shooting zombies. I'm not kidding, it's really that long.WHY YOU NEED TO SEE IT
To get an idea of what Uwe Boll might have been if he had decided to keep making unintentionally funny horror movies instead of misguidedly taking himself at all seriously. I mean, come on. How could you direct a movie with the line "Muerte...that's Spanish for death!" and not know it's hilarious?ALSO CHECK OUT...
Alone in the Dark, if only to see Christian Slater and Tara Reid collapsing in on themsevles.
Ok, I know it was just a throwaway line in there, but seriously, The Shining was Not a great horror movie. The bad guy **spoiler** freezes to death in the end. Boring!
ReplyThe Shining wasn't a good horror movie? The Shining is one of the greatest movies of all time regardless of genre.
Best lines from Troll 2:
Reply"Nilbog is goblin spelled backwards... it's their keen dumb!"
"They're eating her...then they're gonna eat me...oh my gooooooooooooooooooooood."
In ROTLD the naked punk chick that both dances and then stays naked for the remainder of the movie, had to wear a latex twat cover because a bushless one was too much for the MPAA. But a fake bald one was ok. Figure that one. And Evil dead and it sequels are the greatest films ever made.
ReplyReturn Of The Living Dead is also awesome because of its soundtrack, which features eighties punk acts including 45 Grave, The Jet Black Berries, and The Flesheaters.
ReplyYou all must see Killer Clowns From Outer Space, it takes the good-bad concept to the limits!
ReplyOi! The plastic thing at the end of a shoelace is called a 'flooglebinder'.
ReplyNow I know and don't need to see the movie
Jason X is fun because only about a third of it is actually a straight Friday the 13th movie. Add to that 1/3 intentional parody of other Ft13th movies and one third parody of the generally pretty ode to Kevin Sorbo's ego that was Andromeda and you have a movie that is intentionally funny more often than most overt "comedies".
ReplyI will never unsee the ending to Troll 2. After the family returns home and believes they're safe, the father and daughter go to the mall, and the son leaves his mother alone in the kitchen to go play in his room. After a minute or two he goes back downstairs saying the predictable "Mom...mom...mom?" and goes into the kitchen to find one of the goblins eating his mother. The goblin stops for a second holding out a piece of the kid's mom and says "Want some?"
Replyim sorry guys, but The Evil Dead has a 100% rateing on Rotton Tomatoes
ReplyI'm a little sad Feast didn't make it on here. But then again it was a pretty good parody so I guess it wouldn't need to.
ReplyThe Evil Dead section is completely borked, but it's a fun article otherwise.
ReplyDead Alive?? Return of the living dead??? What are you f'ing crazy??? I won't even delve into your Evil Dead screw ups posted below... these are hands down among the best horror films ever made. You're obviously not qualified to make a 'bad movies list' and I might not be a journalist but I would think someone who gets paid to write should in the very least know something about the subject matter.
ReplyAlso great scene alert in Troll 2, the young boy, trying to make his family realize there is something horribly wrong going on in thier town, stands up on the dining room table in front of the whole family and pisses in their food. Absolutely the best single scene in all of cinema.
ReplyOf the various f**k ups in the article, you manage to put "the little Ashes" into Evil Dead 2 and then mention Army of Darkness a few lines later. Yes, I'm a big horror fan, but even my wife knows this. And you missed the funniest scene in Troll 2. What a f*****g mess of an article.
Replyf*****g A! f**k a bee and you get stung!
There are many bad-good movies in the Friday the 13th - series.
ReplyJason X is definitely not one of them.
Umm yeah it is!
Jason X was the first Friday the 13th movie I ever saw (all the way back in 2005 on Sci-Fi). I thought it was awesome (but not scary). It has some hilarious lines (After some guy fell on a giant drill: "He's screwed.") and one of the greatest slasher kills of all time (even though Mythbusters disproved it): Liquid Nitrogen Faceshatter! Plus the mentioned kill in the article makes me remeber my 2nd favorite Jason kill: the sleeping bag kill from Part VII.
Reply"I kick ass for the lord!" I concur, despite his way brief non zombie screen-time Father McGruder was one of the best characters ever.
Replythe inaccurate perception of events in return of the living dead as well as Evil Dead lead me to regard this list as total s**t by someone who didn't f*****g get what they were watching. Klaatu Verata Nikto isn't even in Evil Dead OR Evil Dead 2. It wasn't a chemical spill in RotLD that set s**t off, there are several settings in that movie: the basement, the streets, the graveyard, the mortuary, the chapel, not just the basement of the warehouse. and also, the original Amityville Horror was NOT a bad movie, no where close to the garbage of the second one. Make sure you actually understand what you're watching before you start cutting things down.
Reply Hide All See All 5 Repliesand none of those movies are even particular favorites of mine, its just annoying that you're making them out to be retarded when they're really not. Perpetuating lies
It's called a comedy site for a reason. No one cares that you liked those movies.
You'd think not really caring about factual information is sorta bad, but I guess it's okay because IT'S A COMEDY SITE HEHEHE.
@Body Hammer All good comedy contains truth in one form or another.
Tremble before the nerd-rage!
I had almost forgotten about "Troll 2," and was a happier person. What makes that movie genuinely terrifying is: A) Someone spent hours writing it; B) A company green-lighted its production; C) Some guy looked at the script and thought, "Damn, this is a good idea! I need to direct this!" If these thoughts don't horrify you, nothing will.
ReplyWho said they spent hours on writing it?
Oh, Troll 2. You hurt my brain so much, yet you also made me laugh to the point of pissing my pants. How DO you do it?
Reply