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10 Movie and TV Duos That Were Probably Gay
These days, gay movie characters are not only embraced, they are rewarded with Oscar nominations. Of course society wasn't always so accepting, and until recently, gay TV and movie characters had to hide their true colors. CRACKED takes a look back at some duos that, were they around today, would be among the loudest and proudest members of the Judy Garland fan club. The Lone Ranger While the mask was a necessity in those pre-Brokeback Mountain days, naming your horses "Silver" and "Scout" was as close to coming out as it gets. Just ask yourself the last time you were at a club and saw a white-as-can-be, no-nonsense kinda guy sitting next to a considerably smaller, non-speaking, cowering foreigner, what was your immediate assessment? Golf buddies?  Top Gun Ignoring the standard Tom Cruise gay jokes, Top Gun is, without a doubt, one of the most deceivingly homoerotic films ever made, other than 1992' Why Would I Want to Suck You, William?! Selling itself as an action movie, the film tells the story of a fighter pilot named Maverick struggling with homosexual impulses. Iceman plays the role of the tempter, complete with half-naked locker room staring contests and shirtless volleyball matches. Then, in one of the strangest seduction scenes in the history of cinema, Maverick' female instructor finally seduces him by approaching him in an elevator dressed like Iceman. In the end, after a celebratory hug on an aircraft carrier, Iceman tells Maverick "You can ride my tail anytime," to which Maverick responds, "No, you can ride mine."  The Karate Kid I-III The relationship between Daniel and his septuagenarian instructor started off with the vague, "Wax-on, wax-off," overtones, but when Daniel decided to forgo college to travel with Mr. Miyagi to Okinawa and then move in with him, things started to feel a little ancient Greek-ish. The relationship reached an uncomfortable apex in the third film when Daniel spent his college money on a plant store for Mr. Miyagi, and the old man delivered lines like: "Miyagi life empty without you Daniel-son."  Rocky I - IV After spending the first two films sweatily clutching one another in the ring, in Rocky III they met where most gay couples meet: in the gym. Throughout the third film, Apolo calls Rocky "Stallion." And then, of course, there is the beach scene in Rocky III when the duo run into the ocean clad in uncomfortably tight shorts, hugging and splashing one another in one of the most uncomfortable slow motion grab-ass sessions ever committed to film. In Rocky IV, when Adrian asks Rocky why he must avenge Apollo' murder, Rocky cries, "You knew what I was when you married me."  Beverly Hills 90210 One easy way to diagnose a closet case is the "beard," or, the lonely, lonely female who poses as said closet case' girlfriend. And who better for Dylan to squire around town than Brandon's virginal twin sister, Brenda? Not only did the whole twin thing make it easier for him to imagine that Brenda was Brandon, their relationship also ensured that Dylan got to sleep over and, at one point, even move in. Sure, Dylan had to pay his dues to Brenda on prom night, but it' a small price to pay for all that time in the bathroom measuring, um, sideburns.  Cheers Cliff and Norm were never seen apart. They always arrived together and after a couple of inhibition lowering beers, they always left together too. Norm' wife Vera, on the other hand, was never seen period, leading some to question if she even existed. Cliff, meanwhile, was a mustachioed mailman who lived with his mother. Enough said-it' been scientifically proven that 97% of all mustachioed mailman who live with their mothers are homosexuals.  Peanuts Way ahead of the cartoon curve, creator Charles Schulz allowed the gay stigma to follow his Peppermint Patty character, while it was the ivory-tickling Schroeder and the blanket-toting Linus (always ready for an impromptu"¦picnic) who were stealing away into the night. If it weren't for Charlie Brown' ditzy sister, Sally, who inadvertently wrecked a pumpkin patch rendezvous, we might have seen something truly groundbreaking 40 years before Brokeback Mountain.  Pulp Fiction "Getting Medieval on yo' ass" was more theme than catch phrase. Vincent and Jules, two well-dressed single men in matching suits, spent their time driving around Los Angeles, talking about things like "le' Big Mac" and whether or not they would give a man a foot massage. In related news, what the hell was the story with that Zed/gimp scene? Wow.  The Flintstones The first cartoon characters to ever dress in drag, this blonde-brunette duo always referred to one another as, "good buddy" and wore skirts. Sure, pants hadn't actually been invented yet, but they were skirts just the same.  Will and Grace This may well be the most controversial statement on this list, but if you think about it, these two stylin' bachelors dress really well, wear tons of gel and keep their well-appointed apartments spotless. Now if these closet cases aren't really gay, what is? Vinnie is a popular comedian who regularly appears on the Howard Stern Show. Find out more about him at VinniePenn.net. |
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29 Comments
i read this again, so ill coment again
1. lone ranger and tonto? come on, your fuccking with a show my grandpa may have watched on saturdays, thats just retarded.
2. maverick and iceman? come on, vinnie, i dont want to now about the kind of stuff you dream about.
3. the karate kid one is just fucking retarded. im not even going to give that paragraph more honor by saying any more against it.
4. rocky and apollo? once again, vinnie i dont want to know about your scary fantasys.
5.ive never watched 90210, so i dont really understand the reference.
6.ive never seen cheers either.
7. okay, vinnie. this is where youre starting to piss me off. a duo of little children from a cartoon that started in the freaking fifties? how low can you go? i am disgusted.
8. im not one for pulp fiction either.
9.fred and barney? are you just trying to insult what my ancestors watched? i read peanuts on the newspaper and i sometimes watch the flinstones on boomerang. and the only one ive evr even thought might be slightly gay was peppermint patty.
10. wow, you found two actually gay characters, how lame.
the karate kid one was pretty retarded, as was the peanuts and flinstones ones.
everyone who has posted below me is quite clearly fucking retarded.
unknown
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unknown
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CIPHER
TOOOOO FARRRR!!
I call u out!!
This is good movies and music is vies vies good
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Yes
The answer to the last question below my post is a definate "yes"
Huh?
Vincent and Jules? Norm and Cliff? Are you fucking retarded?
unknown
"Daniel-son"??? WTF??
It's Daniel-san, you moron!
unknown
the creepiest line from pulp fiction's gimp scene is about putting marsallus in "russell's old room". What happened to russell?
ANYTHING Matt Damon and Ben Afleck did together... including eachother ;)
Chronus
Okay, I draw the fucking line at Vincent and Jules.
Unless it was just a joke and you actually didn't think they were gay. Then lol.
Wow
So...how in the HELL would Tonto be the "foreigner"....dumb. Sure, the actor wasn't native, but the character was.
PPP
That Quentin Tarantino´s speech about Top Gun is from a movie 'Sleep with me'. Hilarious. Watch it.
AnnaBanana
Linus and Schroeder? First of all, Ew; Second, that's so wrong; Third, you'll burn in hell for sure
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Teenagemovieboy
Jules (Samuel L Jackson) from Pulp Fiction had a gf, he mentions her in the scene where he tastes the Big Kuhuna burger