10 Movie and TV Duos That Were Probably Gay
The Lone Ranger
While the mask was a necessity in those pre-Brokeback Mountain days, naming your horses "Silver" and "Scout" was as close to coming out as it gets. Just ask yourself the last time you were at a club and saw a white-as-can-be, no-nonsense kinda guy sitting next to a considerably smaller, non-speaking, cowering foreigner, what was your immediate assessment? Golf buddies?
Top Gun
Ignoring the standard Tom Cruise gay jokes, Top Gun is, without a doubt, one of the most deceivingly homoerotic films ever made, other than 1992' Why Would I Want to Suck You, William?! Selling itself as an action movie, the film tells the story of a fighter pilot named Maverick struggling with homosexual impulses. Iceman plays the role of the tempter, complete with half-naked locker room staring contests and shirtless volleyball matches. Then, in one of the strangest seduction scenes in the history of cinema, Maverick' female instructor finally seduces him by approaching him in an elevator dressed like Iceman. In the end, after a celebratory hug on an aircraft carrier, Iceman tells Maverick "You can ride my tail anytime," to which Maverick responds, "No, you can ride mine."
The Karate Kid I-III
The relationship between Daniel and his septuagenarian instructor started off with the vague, "Wax-on, wax-off," overtones, but when Daniel decided to forgo college to travel with Mr. Miyagi to Okinawa and then move in with him, things started to feel a little ancient Greek-ish. The relationship reached an uncomfortable apex in the third film when Daniel spent his college money on a plant store for Mr. Miyagi, and the old man delivered lines like: "Miyagi life empty without you Daniel-son."
Rocky I - IV
After spending the first two films sweatily clutching one another in the ring, in Rocky III they met where most gay couples meet: in the gym. Throughout the third film, Apolo calls Rocky "Stallion." And then, of course, there is the beach scene in Rocky III when the duo run into the ocean clad in uncomfortably tight shorts, hugging and splashing one another in one of the most uncomfortable slow motion grab-ass sessions ever committed to film. In Rocky IV, when Adrian asks Rocky why he must avenge Apollo' murder, Rocky cries, "You knew what I was when you married me."
Beverly Hills 90210
One easy way to diagnose a closet case is the "beard," or, the lonely, lonely female who poses as said closet case' girlfriend. And who better for Dylan to squire around town than Brandon's virginal twin sister, Brenda? Not only did the whole twin thing make it easier for him to imagine that Brenda was Brandon, their relationship also ensured that Dylan got to sleep over and, at one point, even move in. Sure, Dylan had to pay his dues to Brenda on prom night, but it' a small price to pay for all that time in the bathroom measuring, um, sideburns.
Cheers
Cliff and Norm were never seen apart. They always arrived together and after a couple of inhibition lowering beers, they always left together too. Norm' wife Vera, on the other hand, was never seen period, leading some to question if she even existed. Cliff, meanwhile, was a mustachioed mailman who lived with his mother. Enough said-it' been scientifically proven that 97% of all mustachioed mailman who live with their mothers are homosexuals.
Peanuts
Way ahead of the cartoon curve, creator Charles Schulz allowed the gay stigma to follow his Peppermint Patty character, while it was the ivory-tickling Schroeder and the blanket-toting Linus (always ready for an impromptu"¦picnic) who were stealing away into the night. If it weren't for Charlie Brown' ditzy sister, Sally, who inadvertently wrecked a pumpkin patch rendezvous, we might have seen something truly groundbreaking 40 years before Brokeback Mountain.
Pulp Fiction
"Getting Medieval on yo' ass" was more theme than catch phrase. Vincent and Jules, two well-dressed single men in matching suits, spent their time driving around Los Angeles, talking about things like "le' Big Mac" and whether or not they would give a man a foot massage. In related news, what the hell was the story with that Zed/gimp scene? Wow.
The Flintstones
The first cartoon characters to ever dress in drag, this blonde-brunette duo always referred to one another as, "good buddy" and wore skirts. Sure, pants hadn't actually been invented yet, but they were skirts just the same.
Will and Grace
This may well be the most controversial statement on this list, but if you think about it, these two stylin' bachelors dress really well, wear tons of gel and keep their well-appointed apartments spotless. Now if these closet cases aren't really gay, what is?
Vinnie is a popular comedian who regularly appears on the Howard Stern Show. Find out more about him at VinniePenn.net.
the vincent and jules one is weak
Reply"The Flintstones
ReplyThe first cartoon characters to ever dress in drag"
What, so Bugs Bunny is chopped liver now?
bert and ernie...too obvious? big bird and snuffleupagus?
ReplyThe Odd Couple. If anyone here ever watched that show, that is.
ReplyJust one thing...it's Daniel-sAn. SAN. Not SON. It's just...yeah. An eensy-weensy irritating thing.
ReplyI always thought he pronounced it to sound a little like both, though. Kind of including a bilingual double-meaning there. I could be wrong.
Has anybody mentioned yet that the Maverick & Iceman section here is lifted almost verbatim from Quentin Tarantino's scene in the movie "Sleep with Me"? Search Youtube for "Quentin Tarantino Top Gun speech".....
Reply\m/\m/
ReplyLarry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous in "Perfect Strangers" seemed as gay as the hills (even though they were cousins).This assumption actually made the first season funnier.
ReplyThe writers quickly penned in two hot blonds who fall for the two biggest losers in Chicago for the second season just to set the record "straight",while simultaneously killing off any humour in the process.
jack and will were both gay
ReplyThank you, that's the joke.
And for the book lovers ( or really now the bbc lovers) Sherlock and Watson :) espically in the series
ReplyPoppycock old boy!
That's quite funny. The play Dog Sees God is a sort of spin off of Charlie Brown and Schroeder and Charlie have a thing.
ReplyThree words ... Statler. And. Waldorf.
ReplyAren't Jack and Will gay in the actual show? Like their characters are actually gay, and that's sort of the whole point?
ReplyDon't ever let anyone tell you that you're not the sharpest cookie in the tool shed.
I was just saying it's not a "these guys are secretly gay" thing. They aren't "probably" gay, they're "obviously on purpose" gay.
No Xena and Gabrielle?
ReplyToo obvious.
The next step is writing bad fan fiction, and then you will have earned honorary fangirl status. Don't give up now!
ReplySkipper and Gilligan? or was it Mr. Howell being the b***h for everyone that discounts them?
Replyand seriously, has Ian Zeering ever come out? talk about your poster boi.
Why aren't Kirk and Spock on here?
ReplyExpecting that couple was the only reason I read this article.
they really need to work on checking their quotes. the one in TopGun is "you can be my wingman", not "ride my tail". way to misquote something just to make the joke fit. AGAIN.
ReplyI think that's the joke
Wow...did you even watch Pulp Fiction? There was nothing about giving a man a foot massage. It was about "is it ok to give another man's wife a foot massage"
ReplyDid you watch Pulp Fiction? Vincent clearly asks of Jules (after Jules says foot massages don't mean s**t) "Would you give a man a foot massage?" Jules gives him a look and says "f**k you", then Vincent starts to taunt him, asking for a foot massage. I would have thought the most h**o-erotic scene in the film, if you want to twist it that way, as this article clearly does, was when they had no problem stripping naked because a friend of a friend, who they'd never met before, asked them to.
ummm, aren't the guys from will & grace supposed to be gay?
ReplyThat's the joke.