The 5 Most Kick-Ass Apocalyptic Prophecies

#3. The Return of Pahana

Source: The Hopi tribe of Native-Americans

What to watch for:
The arrival of white men in the lands of the Hopi Indians, taking land that isn't theirs and killing their enemies with hand-held thunder.

Wait a minute.

Uh oh.

What comes next:
It looks like we got to this prophecy a little late. The foretold snakes of iron, electronic spider webs and rivers of stone have already crossed the world and the seas are already polluted. Some people say the ninth and final sign, a "dwelling place in the stars falling to earth," happened in 1979 when Skylab crash-landed in Australia.

All that' left is the great wars between the White Man and his enemy in the deserts-

Goddammit.

Can you survive it?
The Hopi were polite enough to provide this part for us. According to prophecy, those who wish to avoid all the diseases and destruction should move to the lands of the Hopi. The bad news: "the lands of the Hopi" means Arizona. The good news: It' only temporary. Any day now, the Hopi are expecting the return of Pahana, or the "lost white brother" from the stars that left them thousands of years ago. When he descends, the survivors become wise and start making the world a better place.

Still, Arizona.

A heavy metal album cover for reference:
Iron Maiden - Brave New World

Rating:
What the Hopi' "great renewal" lacks in rivers of boiling blood and screaming demonic dragons, it makes up in deadly accuracy. Though it appears we're 98 percent of the way through this one, it' not really our fault: It was only revealed to the outside world in 1959. 6/10.

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