In a recent interview with NME Magazine, Keith Richards-the seemingly immortal 63 year-old guitarist for the Rolling Stones who used to use uncut heroin in the same way that most people use salt-said that the craziest thing he'd ever snorted in forty years of the drug-fueled rock star lifestyle was a line of his own father's cremated ashes mixed with cocaine.
Clearly, this man is an inspiration to us all.
His manager later claimed that it was all a joke, but the fact that nobody was really that surprised at the whole thing says an awful lot about Keith Richards. Even more, though, it just begs the question as to what the second craziest thing he's managed to suck up his nose in the pursuit of satisfaction might be, and, well, we're not ones to let something like that go unanswered, so after an exhaustive bit of research, we've come up with some possibilities:
- A sick child's most precious wish.
- A handful of Pixie Stix. Man, those things got him wired!
- An entire set of the 1973 Encyclopedia Britannica, minus the letter N.
- Aleister Crowley's Scottish mansion, brick by ground-up brick.
- Half a gram of cocaine. (Admittedly, this one doesn't sound that unusual, but when you take into account the fact that he snorted it off a life-sized ice sculpture of Sonny Chiba's penis at one of David Bowie's Halloween parties...)
- Five years of his own life, extracted by some eldritch machine which I shall not mention here.
- At least fourteen endangered species.
- The inspirational messages of fitness superstar John Basedow.
- The entire sixteen-hour cut of Berlin Alexanderplatz.
- The aborted fetus of Marianne Faithful and Mick Jagger's love child.