Celebrities fight just like they have sex: randomly and with whichever fellow celebrity is closest at hand. At least it seems that way, based on the long history of odd and seemingly pointless brawls between famous people.
10Axl Rose vs. Tommy Hilfiger
Axl Rose may not have released an album of new music in nigh on 15 years, but if there's one thing at which he' nothing but prolific, it's challenging other celebrities to fights and not having the stones to follow through.
He demanded that Kurt Cobain "shut [his] bitch up" at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards, but was stymied when Cobain told Courtney Love "Shut up, bitch!" and the two laughed and walked off. He repeatedly challenged Motley Crue's Vince Neil after he beat up Izzy Stradlin for kicking Neil' wife in the stomach, but backed down when Neil proposed they settle things in a boxing match. Rose has even been known to engage in empty threats that don't involve his endorsing violence toward women, as when he singled out music critics by name and challenged them to fight in Use Your Illusion II' "Get in the Ring." Spin publisher Bob Guccione Jr., a nine-year karate student, gladly accepted, but nothing came of it, presumably because Axl became distracted by some celebrity' wife that needed a beating.
So how did he finally end up fighting 55-year-old fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger, of all people?
Well, he didn't-or at least, he didn't fight back. The dispute happened at Rosario Dawson's birthday party at New York club The Plumm in May 2006 when Rose moved Hilfiger's girlfriend's drink, supposedly to keep it from spilling. Hilfiger, allegedly already steamed about having been asked to make room for Rose' entourage and enormous hairdo, smacked his arm and told him to put it back. The argument escalated into a melee, with Hilfiger punching Rose on the cheek.
Hilfiger, who Rose described as "foaming at the mouth," was eventually pulled out of the club kicking and screaming by his own bodyguard. Rose then played a scheduled set, dedicating the song "You're Crazy" to "my good friend Tommy Hilfiger."
Actual photo of event
Hilfiger. Sure, Plumm owner Noel Ashman credited Rose for being the bigger man: "Axl was a gentleman and had the good sense not to retaliate." But, Rose's track record indicates that he once again fucked with the wrong guy' girlfriend and chickened out when he got called on it. Seriously, who has Rose ever actually beat up besides his ex-wife Erin Everly?
Hilfiger, on the other hand, not only defended his girlfriend-and it seems improbable enough for a male fashion designer to even have one-but also beat up the biggest rock star of the 1980s in the process. If there's anything less rock 'n' roll than getting your ass kicked by a fashion designer, we certainly can't imagine what it is. With all due respect to Buddy Holly's plane crash, Axl Rose having his ass handed to him by Tommy Hilfiger is most certainly the day that music died for anyone raised on Appetite for Destruction.
9Sinéad O'Connor vs. Prince
"I'd kick her ass if she were a guy," Frank Sinatra famously declared after Sinéad O'Connor tore up a photo of the pope during her notorious Saturday Night Live appearance. But, gender lines were no barrier for Prince, a small but scrappy nymph whose previous bouts include a fistfight with Morris Day on the set of Purple Rain.
O'Connor may be a girl, but she's Irish, she's crazy, and going to the tale of the tape, she actually has 2 or 3 inches on the diminutive Prince. In 1990, O'Connor scored a hit with an unauthorized cover of Prince' "Nothing Compares 2 You." This upset the Purple One, who'd planned on giving it to one of his female proteges. Their meeting to discuss this did not go well.
"He invited me to his house in Los Angeles and started to give out to me for swearing in interviews. When I told him to go fuck himself, he got very upset and became quite threatening, physically. I ended up having to escape," says O'Connor. "He can pack a punch. A few blows were exchanged. All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit." It's unclear whether Prince made her pancakes when it was all over. One thing is clear: If Prince invites you to his house, you should probably bring a video camera because nobody's ever going to believe the shit that' going on over there.
Prince. Which brings up an important question: Is there another scenario in the world in which a man could invite a woman over to his house, beat her up, and rather than being horrified, you'd be sort of impressed that he won? Maybe if Prince beat up Serena or Venus Williams, but really all scenarios involve Prince.