Some sidekicks are known for their blind loyalty (Tonto), their bizarre choice of clothing (Robin) or their ability to harmonize (Garfunkel). Other sidekicks are known primarily for lurking in the background and weirding everyone the hell out.
A look at the 10 lackeys, hype men and right hands that make us more than a little uncomfortable, as well as a diagnosis of what' probably wrong with these tortured souls.
10Tattoo from Fantasy Island
On TV' Fantasy Island, Herve Villechaize played Tattoo, the boot-licking human poodle to Ricardo Montalban' Mr. Roarke.
Tattoo' duties included:
- Ring bell / "De plane!"
- Listening to his boss explain the plot of this week' episode
- Getting his boss drinks
- Boot licking
Tattoo lived to serve his boss, even sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed (in case any snakes got in the room). He can also be credited with starting a national obsession with midgets that has resulted in midget-tossing parties, the character Mini-Me and Ryan Seacrest' career.
In this very special intro to Fantasy Island, Tatoo shows a little moxy, asking his boss why he never gets his. Roarke responds with some lame metaphor about candy shops that he made up, totally ignoring this cry for help from his tortured slave.
DIAGNOSIS: Dysfunctionally intense focus on needs of his boss, bacterial infection on tongue from shoe shine.
9Jerome from The Time
What series of events has to happen in your life for you to become The Guy That Holds Morris Day' mirror? Meet Jerome, Morris Day' preening sidekick/valet/underling. In addition to taking up valuable space in the luggage compartment of The Time tour bus, Jerome' duties apparently include:
- Holding up a huge mirror so Morris Day can check himself out while he sings.
- Brushing the lint off of Morris Day' jacket while he sings.
- Dancing around a little bit while Morris Day sings.
- Holding up the huge mirror again.
In this video of Morris Day and The Time doing their thing, notice how quick Jerome is with Day' mirror. Also, we can't help but point out that Jerome, by dedicating all of his time to perfecting his Morris Day-related responsibilities, has rendered himself completely unemployable.
Honestly, if things don't work out and Jerome gets fired, what other job could he possibly be qualified to perform? Brushing lint off the Queen? Holding up a huge mirror for a chief justice of the Supreme Court? He'd be perfect for those jobs, if they existed.
DIAGNOSIS: Symbiotism, HPD (Habitual Preening Disorder).