| Featured |
| Many celebrities died this past year. But who's the most dead? As usual, CRACKED is on top of things. In fact, we're so on top of things that we've already gotten a jump start on ranking next year's Most Dead list. Which beloved stars of stage and screen have we personally cut down in the full bloom of youth so far? Wait and see! For now, here are CRACKED's 10 Most Dead People of 2006. (Only kidding. We haven't actually murdered any celebrities yet this year. But if we had, we would have started with Jim Belushi.) Don Knotts
But just as likable and unconventional was Don Knotts' bumbling deputy Barney Fife, who got no results whatsover—unless you count making every single episode of the otherwise slow-moving Andy Griffith Show in which he appeared eminently watchable. Of course, you may also know him as nosy Lothario landlord Ralph Furley from Three's Company or from roles in such poultry-themed projects as The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, Robot Chicken, and Chicken Little. He was a flat-out comic genius—as well as some kind of human-chicken hybrid, evidently. Frankly, it's a surprise lung cancer claimed his life, rather than avian flu. Jack Palance
Speaking of City Slickers, Bruno Kirby died this year too, come to think of it. Not to be mean, but why not Billy Crystal? Let's be honest: Billy Crystal hasn't been funny in years. Let's get rid of him before Analyze This and Analyze That are inevitably followed by Analyze the Other Thing. That's a trilogy to which we just don't need closure. Instead, why not get closure on that trio of Comic Relief hosts? We don't need Billy Crystal. No one's going to miss Whoopi Goldberg. And it's pretty much universally agreed at this point that Robin Williams has got to go. Get to work, Death. Chris Penn
Oh wait. That's his brother, Sean Penn. Chris Penn was Nice Guy Eddie in Reservoir Dogs, not to mention Kevin Bacon's sidekick in Footloose, the guy who couldn't dance a lick but was still an underrated screen presence who made everything he was in better. Shoot. We liked that one. |
dude steve irwin was an *actual* environmentalist as in 1. he knew what he was doing and 2. he helped animals rather than fucking things up worse for them like most people who call themselves environmentalists. and he was a great family man and not afraid of a fucking thing. anyone who thinks he "had it coming" is jealous because there's no way in hell their pussy ass would be running *towards* a 15 foot long crocodile
NOOOOO!!! Not "The Ghost & Mr. Chicken"!
Ahahahaha! You liked footloose! hahahahahahahahahahaha... ah man. Thats the funniest part of this article.
There are a surprising amount of celebs that, honestly, we expected better from.
I ... I don't even ... what?
Like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but with STDs.
You almost have to admire him.
The X-Men without the shitty one liners.
Come on, some were trying to be funny!
Not quite as useful as "look both ways."
First rule of Hollywood: Everything explodes.
The 4th of July. "Independence Day." "The Big Easy." The day the entire planet gets together to put aside our differences and bond over our common love of fireworks and professional baseball. It's ...
Los Angeles: Home To Movie Stars, The Wayans Brothers, And Me
Wall-E: The Touching Tale Of An Aging Gay Robot
Black-Velvet
Steve Irwin was a half-decent environmentalist, but he espoused the stupid view that Australian soil had 'gotten used to' cattle grazing and the associated deforestation. Seriously.