And that was the news, brought to you by the good people at Botox.
Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Off my ass, that' where.
And so it goes...without saying that I'm now obscenely wealthy.
I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'why does it still smell like old man in here?'
I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'you know what they say about chicks with big gums, right?'
Goodnight, and Dan Rather if you prank call me one more time, I'll perform your colonoscopy while wearing a catcher' mitt.
I'll be back tomorrow with 22 more minutes of sound bites to fill the vacuum where I once had a soul.
Brian Williams is a pedophile. Goodnight!
I'm Katie Couric and that sound you're hearing is Edward R. Murrow rising from the dead just so he can kill himself.
Al Roker has been inside me, America!
Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
I haven't stopped smiling since 1982. Seriously someone help me. No! Stop playing the credits! I'm Katie Couric! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh Jesus!
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