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Katie Couric Evening News Sign Off Suggestions

On Tuesday night, Katie Couric ended her debut broadcast as the first female anchor of the evening news by asking viewers to submit ideas for her sign off. Since far more people read CRACKED.com than watch the CBS Evening News, we figured we'd tell the world about their little contest and create one of our own. We're asking you to submit your own signoffs. The funniest submission will win a free RCA MP3 player and will have their submission read on the air by Katie Couric. OK, that last part isn't true, but you will win an MP3 player. Here are a few sign offs to get you started.

And that was the news, brought to you by the good people at Botox.

Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Off my ass, that' where.

And so it goes...without saying that I'm now obscenely wealthy.

I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'why does it still smell like old man in here?'

I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'you know what they say about chicks with big gums, right?'

Goodnight, and Dan Rather if you prank call me one more time, I'll perform your colonoscopy while wearing a catcher' mitt.

I'll be back tomorrow with 22 more minutes of sound bites to fill the vacuum where I once had a soul.

Brian Williams is a pedophile. Goodnight!

I'm Katie Couric and that sound you're hearing is Edward R. Murrow rising from the dead just so he can kill himself.

Al Roker has been inside me, America!

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

I haven't stopped smiling since 1982. Seriously someone help me. No! Stop playing the credits! I'm Katie Couric! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh Jesus!


Legal fine print: Only one entry per person. Void where prohibited. We cannot guarantee that you will be rich or famous by entering, or that models will be at your beck and call. But you knew that already, didn't you? By the way, we're not obligated to print anything if we don't want to. And submitting your work implies acceptance of all terms, conditions and contest rules available here.
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