Home > Celebrities > Katie Couric Evening News Sign Off Suggestions
Featured  

Katie Couric Evening News Sign Off Suggestions

By CRACKED Staff, W Gladstone
article image
On Tuesday night, Katie Couric ended her debut broadcast as the first female anchor of the evening news by asking viewers to submit ideas for her sign off. Since far more people read CRACKED.com than watch the CBS Evening News, we figured we'd tell the world about their little contest and create one of our own. We're asking you to submit your own signoffs. The funniest submission will win a free RCA MP3 player and will have their submission read on the air by Katie Couric. OK, that last part isn't true, but you will win an MP3 player. Here are a few sign offs to get you started.

And that was the news, brought to you by the good people at Botox.

Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Off my ass, that' where.

And so it goes...without saying that I'm now obscenely wealthy.

I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'why does it still smell like old man in here?'

I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'you know what they say about chicks with big gums, right?'

Goodnight, and Dan Rather if you prank call me one more time, I'll perform your colonoscopy while wearing a catcher' mitt.

I'll be back tomorrow with 22 more minutes of sound bites to fill the vacuum where I once had a soul.

Brian Williams is a pedophile. Goodnight!

I'm Katie Couric and that sound you're hearing is Edward R. Murrow rising from the dead just so he can kill himself.

Al Roker has been inside me, America!

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

I haven't stopped smiling since 1982. Seriously someone help me. No! Stop playing the credits! I'm Katie Couric! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh Jesus!


Legal fine print: Only one entry per person. Void where prohibited. We cannot guarantee that you will be rich or famous by entering, or that models will be at your beck and call. But you knew that already, didn't you? By the way, we're not obligated to print anything if we don't want to. And submitting your work implies acceptance of all terms, conditions and contest rules available here.

Submit to: Reddit Facebook StumbleUpon Digg Del.icio.us

Post Comment

2837 Comments

She is very sexy. And a friend told me she found a hot photo of her with other friends on our herpes community" stdpal.com".

Posted on 5/5/2008 7:47:03 PM

Bill

celebrity doll celebrity updo celebrity feet pictures celebrity nudes free celebrity long hairstyles celebrity pets celebrity guys celebrity tapes celebrity cocks

Posted on 3/31/2008 10:09:40 AM

Bill

audio video fabri fibra sfondi desktop cazzo in culo hotel villaggio last minute trasloco arredamento climatizzatore prestito personali veloci frasi amicizia acconciature sposa eco di bergamo stivale

Posted on 3/31/2008 10:06:56 AM

Bill

arizona eagar estate real angeliques escorts al ittihad airline battle of sekigahara banoffee pie recipes biagi beads bear teddie vermont airline al ittihad band black dahlia murder official site bettis jerome wallpaper

Posted on 3/31/2008 4:02:55 AM

Bill

arizona eagar estate real angeliques escorts al ittihad airline battle of sekigahara banoffee pie recipes biagi beads bear teddie vermont airline al ittihad band black dahlia murder official site bettis jerome wallpaper

Posted on 3/31/2008 4:02:47 AM

Hero

libretti sanitari regione campania negozio disney laurax racconti pupa secchione film pornofoto gradis prontoenelit atomo atomo wikipedia capodanno economico al sole hentai epson r220

Posted on 3/31/2008 12:14:03 AM

Diesel

annuncio erotici frasi amicizia giochi super mario annuncio girls noleggio automobile morena sex disegni tatuaggio sfondi apple lega basket amplificatore

Posted on 3/30/2008 10:25:45 PM

Arnie

baking hams afb hurricane keesler athena alexander shoes bat country mp3 avenged adrienne posta air conditioner slider casement adrienne corri bibb hose ballon mollies barcelona de en instaladores parquet

Posted on 3/30/2008 10:03:40 PM

Still

lake havasu spring break pic augusta condominium houston bit mesra mooresville tribune bonfante garden

Posted on 3/30/2008 9:20:28 PM

Dominic

autobus pugliesi agv free downloads alicia crush silverstone alterna tiff aveda institute minneapolis alley baggett forum alicia silverstone crush american dairy assocation banes and noble bandit fedex

Posted on 3/30/2008 9:13:44 PM

Arnie

jc penny portrait kasey kiker coctel de camaron wannabe fansubs printable checkbook register hocking hills cabin rental coroas maduros hartsville sc real estate ashlee invisible lyric simpson saturn providence rhode island

Posted on 3/30/2008 8:50:36 PM

Halo

toyota la crosse wisconsin dominicano rincon blatter gall bieber bus carrell kim sterling

Posted on 3/30/2008 7:41:59 PM

Diesel

metter ga real estate port neches tx real estate arrest county hillsborough inquiry ruff ryders motorcycle cliffside malibu tyra bolling prom crutch neu tickle donovans reef smz tmp

Posted on 3/30/2008 7:12:14 PM

Joe

lorain county auditor asco solenoid valve frozen nassau yogurt iriga scandal sex huntsville forester

Posted on 3/30/2008 6:03:24 PM

Jane

driver ed merced online shopper drugmart cabal merritt bed matelasse spread mesenteric adenitis wacky wheatleys kaieteur news jeff gordons girlfriend bahia principe coba jaymee ong

Posted on 3/30/2008 5:33:27 PM

Halo

ed ero contentissimo albero genealogico principessa walt disney disegno colorare hotel villaggio last minute sogni interpretazione leasing interessi piatto doccia espositori anticipazioni soop

Posted on 3/30/2008 4:38:18 PM

Dominic

lahaina movie theater rondalla de saltillo tanning salon nassau drees custom home creole restaurant middlesex

Posted on 3/30/2008 4:26:19 PM

Kir

swan ganz catheter bmw davenport illinois harrisburg lexus pennsylvania chua cong hiep nghia hera pheri phir song kemerdekaan melayu sejarah tanah erie festival fort friendship danielle lyric peck oakley splice uninstall mirar

Posted on 3/30/2008 3:55:16 PM

Hero

watsonville speedway birdville independent school district free octagon picnic table plan hyundai boise city idaho cheat duelist gi oh rose yu

Posted on 3/30/2008 2:48:20 PM

July

haute mitsubishi terre buckwild morning show star subaru killeen kinnie starr freshlook color blend iceman kuklinski richard apartment burnie glen md rental richthofen suzane von shock wave daily jigsaw radcliff ky real estate

Posted on 3/30/2008 2:17:09 PM

More Celebrities


Popular stuff


Avatar
Michael Swaim
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:03:03 AM
Post Subject: The Funky Bunch Have Some Bad News For Mark Wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg strides into the Funkodrome, sporting his original 1991 Calvin Klein Jeans slung suggestively beneath the elastic band of a pair of boxers. The chiseled crevice between his beefy pecs gu ...

Avatar BJ The Messenger Attackheads Some Crackheads, Invents A Word In The Process: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
I don't know where BJ The Messenger has been hiding out since 1987, but I think it's about time ...
Avatar Apparently Bill O'Reilly Has ALWAYS Been A Douche: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
You know what I'd do with a time machine? Grab a laptop, load up a bunch of websites with peopl ...
Recently Popular on Digg