| Featured |
Katie Couric Evening News Sign Off Suggestions
On Tuesday night, Katie Couric ended her debut broadcast as the first female anchor of the evening news by asking viewers to submit ideas for her sign off. Since far more people read CRACKED.com than watch the CBS Evening News, we figured we'd tell the world about their little contest and create one of our own. We're asking you to submit your own signoffs. The funniest submission will win a free RCA MP3 player and will have their submission read on the air by Katie Couric. OK, that last part isn't true, but you will win an MP3 player. Here are a few sign offs to get you started.  And that was the news, brought to you by the good people at Botox. Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Off my ass, that' where. And so it goes...without saying that I'm now obscenely wealthy. I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'why does it still smell like old man in here?' I'm Katie Couric, asking, 'you know what they say about chicks with big gums, right?' Goodnight, and Dan Rather if you prank call me one more time, I'll perform your colonoscopy while wearing a catcher' mitt. I'll be back tomorrow with 22 more minutes of sound bites to fill the vacuum where I once had a soul. Brian Williams is a pedophile. Goodnight! I'm Katie Couric and that sound you're hearing is Edward R. Murrow rising from the dead just so he can kill himself. Al Roker has been inside me, America! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! I haven't stopped smiling since 1982. Seriously someone help me. No! Stop playing the credits! I'm Katie Couric! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh Jesus! Legal fine print: Only one entry per person. Void where prohibited. We cannot guarantee that you will be rich or famous by entering, or that models will be at your beck and call. But you knew that already, didn't you? By the way, we're not obligated to print anything if we don't want to. And submitting your work implies acceptance of all terms, conditions and contest rules available here. |
2837 Comments
Bill
celebrity doll celebrity updo celebrity feet pictures celebrity nudes free celebrity long hairstyles celebrity pets celebrity guys celebrity tapes celebrity cocks
Bill
audio video fabri fibra sfondi desktop cazzo in culo hotel villaggio last minute trasloco arredamento climatizzatore prestito personali veloci frasi amicizia acconciature sposa eco di bergamo stivale
Bill
arizona eagar estate real angeliques escorts al ittihad airline battle of sekigahara banoffee pie recipes biagi beads bear teddie vermont airline al ittihad band black dahlia murder official site bettis jerome wallpaper
Bill
arizona eagar estate real angeliques escorts al ittihad airline battle of sekigahara banoffee pie recipes biagi beads bear teddie vermont airline al ittihad band black dahlia murder official site bettis jerome wallpaper
Hero
libretti sanitari regione campania negozio disney laurax racconti pupa secchione film pornofoto gradis prontoenelit atomo atomo wikipedia capodanno economico al sole hentai epson r220
Diesel
annuncio erotici frasi amicizia giochi super mario annuncio girls noleggio automobile morena sex disegni tatuaggio sfondi apple lega basket amplificatore
Arnie
baking hams afb hurricane keesler athena alexander shoes bat country mp3 avenged adrienne posta air conditioner slider casement adrienne corri bibb hose ballon mollies barcelona de en instaladores parquet
Still
lake havasu spring break pic augusta condominium houston bit mesra mooresville tribune bonfante garden
Dominic
autobus pugliesi agv free downloads alicia crush silverstone alterna tiff aveda institute minneapolis alley baggett forum alicia silverstone crush american dairy assocation banes and noble bandit fedex
Arnie
jc penny portrait kasey kiker coctel de camaron wannabe fansubs printable checkbook register hocking hills cabin rental coroas maduros hartsville sc real estate ashlee invisible lyric simpson saturn providence rhode island
Halo
toyota la crosse wisconsin dominicano rincon blatter gall bieber bus carrell kim sterling
Diesel
metter ga real estate port neches tx real estate arrest county hillsborough inquiry ruff ryders motorcycle cliffside malibu tyra bolling prom crutch neu tickle donovans reef smz tmp
Joe
lorain county auditor asco solenoid valve frozen nassau yogurt iriga scandal sex huntsville forester
Jane
driver ed merced online shopper drugmart cabal merritt bed matelasse spread mesenteric adenitis wacky wheatleys kaieteur news jeff gordons girlfriend bahia principe coba jaymee ong
Halo
ed ero contentissimo albero genealogico principessa walt disney disegno colorare hotel villaggio last minute sogni interpretazione leasing interessi piatto doccia espositori anticipazioni soop
Dominic
lahaina movie theater rondalla de saltillo tanning salon nassau drees custom home creole restaurant middlesex
Kir
swan ganz catheter bmw davenport illinois harrisburg lexus pennsylvania chua cong hiep nghia hera pheri phir song kemerdekaan melayu sejarah tanah erie festival fort friendship danielle lyric peck oakley splice uninstall mirar
Hero
watsonville speedway birdville independent school district free octagon picnic table plan hyundai boise city idaho cheat duelist gi oh rose yu
July
haute mitsubishi terre buckwild morning show star subaru killeen kinnie starr freshlook color blend iceman kuklinski richard apartment burnie glen md rental richthofen suzane von shock wave daily jigsaw radcliff ky real estate
More Celebrities
-
The Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists
There are a surprising amount of celebs that, honestly, we expected better from.
-
7 Great Men in History (And Why You Should Hate Them)
A few truths about history's heroes that were swept under the carpet over the years.
-
8 Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Geeks
Quite simply, these people should not exist.
-
20 Celebrity Endorsed Products Too Awesome to Exist
They don't exist, but they should.
Popular stuff
-
The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullsh*t Statistics
True? Of course not. But damn interesting.
-
The 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies of All Time
The Covenant's got nothing on Otto.
-
The 6 Most Gratuitously Cleavaged Women on TV
Does that lab coat come in a C-Cup?
-
The 5 Most Needlessly Complex Terror Plots in Film History
Guys, sometimes simple is better.
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:03:03 AM
Post Subject: The Funky Bunch Have Some Bad News For Mark Wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg strides into the Funkodrome, sporting his original 1991 Calvin Klein Jeans slung suggestively beneath the elastic band of a pair of boxers. The chiseled crevice between his beefy pecs gu ...
BJ The Messenger Attackheads Some Crackheads, Invents A Word In The Process: The Daily Nooner (EST)!I don't know where BJ The Messenger has been hiding out since 1987, but I think it's about time ...
Apparently Bill O'Reilly Has ALWAYS Been A Douche: The Daily Nooner (EST)!You know what I'd do with a time machine? Grab a laptop, load up a bunch of websites with peopl ...
- Home
- Submissions
- Contact Us
- Newsletter
- Advertise
- Terms & Conditions
- Link to Cracked
- Privacy Policy
- Register/Log In
- Site Map
Copyright © 2005 - 2007 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
DISCLAIMER: All characters, names and places used in CRACKED fiction and semifiction (whether online, in print or any other media) are fictitious and are used herein for the purposes of comment, criticism, parody, pointing out political and/or social injustice or any other purpose through which humanity is held up to the ridicule it frequently deserves. Any similarity to real people, without parodic purpose, is a coincidence. All trade names, product names and trademarks of third parties, including any trademarked characters, used in CRACKED fiction and semifiction (whether online, in print or any other media) are used without the authorization of those third parties, and are used only for the purpose of parody and identification. No sponsorship, endorsement or affiliation by or with those third parties exists or should be implied.
![](”http://vs.dmtracker.com/images/zig.gif?Log=1")
hgirl
She is very sexy. And a friend told me she found a hot photo of her with other friends on our herpes community" stdpal.com".