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From Jackie Chan to Carrie Fisher: The 10 Most Unlikely Celeb Porn Stars

We've all done things in our past we'd rather not admit to (many of them at CRACKED office parties, involving olives, 100-foot obstacle courses, martini glasses and the applause of our peers). When you're a young and struggling actor, and the going gets tough, who among us wouldn't drop our drawers for 50 bucks, subway tokens or a half-eaten Arby's sandwich?

Luckily, most of us never get famous, so no one cares when we show up, head down and ass up, on YouTube. The following celebrities were either unlucky enough to have some very naked skeletons in their closet upon achieving fame, or were stupid/pathetic enough to have sex on camera after they hit it big. In both cases, we were there to cover our arousal with ironic snarkiness.


Pre-Fame Porn Stars

You've almost got to feel bad for these folks. They were just normal people, dressing up in bondage, inserting ball gags into their mouths and posing for Bent-Over Honcho Magazine like the rest of us. (We all do that, right?) It's not their fault they got famous.

#10.
Jackie Chan

"I had to do anything I could to make a living 31 years ago, but I don't think it's a big deal, even Marlon Brando used to be exposed in his movies," said Chan after it was revealed he starred in a Hong Kong skin flick called All in the Family. Featuring Chan getting it on with a famous porn actress of the time, the cast also included Sammo Hung (from Walker, Texas Ranger and co-star of the short lived spin-off Martial Law with Arsenio Hall). Hung working his groin-groove can only be considered a cinematic hate crime against humanity-having said that, the scenes with Arsenio cheering him on from the sidelines are pretty entertaining.

#9.
Spalding Gray

To people who read The New Yorker, Gray was best known for his post-modern, hyper intellectual monologues (and films of same), like Swimming to Cambodia. (We knew him as a smarty-pants Garrison Keillor type that made our college professors rub themselves against their desks with their eyes closed, quietly singing "When Doves Cry.")

But before all that, Gray starred in the ultra-violent, hardcore rape/incest-themed film The Farmer's Daughter. He portrayed the leader of a group of escaped convicts who encounter a rural family and... well, they don't sit around chatting about current events. To be completely honest, the movie is seriously sick. What with the farmer and his daughters and the convicts and... look, some nasty shit goes down. If you know someone who owns a copy, take it from us: Don't invite them out camping.

#8.
Cameron Diaz

At the tender age of 19 (two years before her breakout role alongside rubber-faced man-fart Jim Carrey in The Mask), Cammie shot some softcore S&M footage with another lucky girl, ostensibly to get some tasteful nude glossies "for her portfolio." (Apparently it was filmed just in case the photos didn't develop properly.)

A few years later, the super-classy photographer attempted to sell the film to a Russian pornography operation after offering Diaz "rights of first refusal" (i.e., tried to blackmail her to prevent their release). Diaz, who has not appeared nude in an American film to date, took him to criminal court, won, and blocked the footage from ever being shown.

Naturally they showed up online soon after anyway. Because the Internet is as shameless as it is awesome.

#7.
Sylvester Stallone

Before he turned into a half-melted novelty candle, Stallone received the kingly sum of $200 to star in the 1970s classic The Party at Kitty and Stud's, wherein he managed to snag the plum titular role of "Stud." Originally released as hardcore pornography, after Stallone became famous the more graphic scenes and money shots were cut from subsequent releases, and the movie was re-packaged under the names of Italian Stallion and Cocky and sold in those shitty $1.99 DVD bins at Walgreens.

Should you manage to be lucky enough to find a copy, you'll learn there's no false advertising in the title, as "Stud" belt-whips "Kitty" and services three of her friends at, sure enough, "a party." Adrian is gonna be SO pissed.

#6.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

There are plenty of unsubstantiated rumors floating around that Arnie went gay for pay in some early films, but he can't deny posing nude for controversial photographer and alleged "boy-loving pervert" Robert Mapplethorpe in the mid-'70s. (He also posed butt-ass-nekkid for gay magazine After Dark.)

Lest you think this wildly out of character for a loudly conservative, Catholic politician, in an interview with Oui Magazine around the same time, he showed the type of sensitivity that would eventually stand him so well with the Republican party. "Men shouldn't feel like fags just because they want to have nice-looking bodies. Gay people are fighting the same kind of stereotyping that bodybuilders are: People have certain misconceptions about them just as they do about us. Well, I have absolutely no hang-ups about the fag." Isn't it heartwarming to know the man who controls the fruitiest state in the country is totally okay with "the fag?"

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