When They Were Young: Supervillain Science Projects
Victor Von Doom (Marvel Elementary)
Known Today As: Dr. Doom
Noted For: Despotic rule of Latveria; quest for world domination
Project: Erupting Hydrochloric Acid-Magnesium Volcano
Grade Received: D+
Teacher Comments:
Experiment was ambitious but went tragically awry, compared to Reed Richards' successful baking soda volcano at other end of gymnasium.
Parent-Teacher Discussion Ignored at Humanity's Peril:
"Victor resists wearing safety goggles in science lab and seems lost in fantasy much of the time. As a side note, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, why on earth would you name your child Victor Von Doom?"
Norman Osborn II (Stan Lee Preparatory Academy)
Known Today As: The Green Goblin
Noted For: Success in chemical industry; obsessive crusade re: Spider-Man
Project: Insect Collection
Grade Received: C
Teacher Comments:
Substantial display, but spiders with two legs removed do not actually qualify as "insects."
Parent-Teacher Discussion Ignored at Humanity's Peril:
"Mr. Osborn, Norman has an unhealthy interest in... well, how can we put this? All he seems to have are unhealthy interests."
Otto Octavius (Kirby School For The Gifted)
Known Today As: Dr. Octopus
Noted For: Atomic physics research; criminal insanity
Project: Plutonium on Rye: Sandwich of the Future!
Grade Received: A+
Teacher Comments:
One onlooker accidentally mutated, but in a good way.
Parent-Teacher Discussion Ignored at Humanity's Peril:
"Your son is a brilliant student, but he's a bit shy and should be more physically active. And he really, REALLY hates both of you."
George Maxon (B'nai Brith Charity Orphanage)
Known Today As: The Red Skull
Noted For: Nazi affiliation; espionage; sabotage; snazzy mask
Project: Salt/Pepper Separation Demonstration
Grade Received: F
Teacher Comments:
There is nothing magical nor "Aryan" about static electricity, and banishment of pepper to "concentration dump" via model railway is in exceedingly poor taste.
Parent-Teacher Discussion Ignored at Humanity's Peril:
"Every day is Halloween with George in our classroom. However, we are seriously concerned about his attitude toward our Jewish students, many of whom he has tried to kill."
Anyone else notice the pages were separated between Marvel and DC?
Replyseems to me these teachers are guilty of inconsistant grading. sometimes they seem to be judging if the project worked and other times if the project was a good idea.
Replyyeah, teachers tend to do that, like the time in high school I came up with a very rigorous experiment that just happened to involve poisoning orphans.
Wasn't he called Mr. Freeze because his name was in fact Victor Freeze?
Replypff. no. his name was mr. freeze because his name was in fact victor FRIES. nerd.
I have the issue of the "new" Cracked that this was in. Definitely neat to see it here so that many more can laugh at it.
Replyalso, why does the young Joker remind me of Frank Booth?
ReplyMr. Freeze was originally known as Mr. Zero
Replythe 60s tv-series thought Freeze sounded cooler, and the change became permanent
also, George Maxon was a crappy Silver Age wannabee
Johann Schmidt is the true Red Skull
Mr. Freeze's real name is Victor Fries. Where'd you get Zero from?
Replythis was funny, the art was good too.
Reply