"I'm glad this rock band has a limited repertoire of similarly progressing power chords. If their songs were more creative, it would confuse me, and I would not buy their album."
"As a member of the African-American community, I readily identify with this hip-hop artist's misogynistic views and propensity towards crime."
"That beautiful and scantily clad young woman, whose name escapes me at the moment, is my favorite musical artist of all time."
"It's a good thing my carbonated soft-drink came with one free music download, for I would have felt uncomfortable downloading free music on the internet."
"Finally a halftime show that combines my love of hard-nosed championship football and pre-pubescent teen-pop!"
"I will buy any CD that produces sound."