Talking Trash at the Museum of Science


Yo, Moon! How's it feel not being a planet? Bet it makes you feel like a sucka. Well, don't worry about it too much. Just have a glass of water and relax. Oh snap! I forgot- you don't have any water! Sucka!



Well, well, well. Looks like the student has become the master, Giant Grasshopper. Punk. Why don't you hop over to the food court and get me a Cinnabon? I'm hungry, bitch!


Ooh look! A car powered by the sun. Shit, you ain't nothin', punk. I don't need the stupid sun to power my car. That's because I don't have a car. I take the bus. It's awful.



Yeah, well, so what if I've been staring at you for ten minutes, Topology Thingy? You just don't make sense. Your little red arrow comes around on the outside, then it shows up on the inside and then it shows up on the outside again. I don't get it. You must be a witch or something. Witches are suckas!


I don't care what you're hiding, Mystery Object Booth. I bet that whatever it is blows! Only thing that would impress me would be a Cinnabon. I'm hungry, bitch! I love Cinnabons. They're tasty, fool! But I bet you ain't got a Cinnabon in there. I bet it's like a piece of bark or a feather or something. Lame! So stop acting so high and mighty. You're not all that, bro. You're lucky we didn't go to junior high together or else I would have totally challenged you to a fight in the cafeteria. I would've been like, "Lunch is served, sucka!" Then I would've knocked you out with my mystery object: a ninja stick. Everybody would've cheered for me, and girls would've been all over my jock and stuff. That would've been great.


Awww. Is the big, scary dinosaur cold? Does the big, scary dinosaur need a scarf to keep its big, scary neck warm? Poor thing. I hope you don't catch the flu- or worse yet, the bird flu! That's all you are, you know- just a big, dumb bird without any wings and a stupid scarf around its neck. Loser. You're not scary at all. Wanna know what's really scary? Taking the bus. People sneer at you and the driver is always grumpy. One time, I didn't have exact change and he looked at me like I was an idiot. I hate the bus.


Hey, Model of Skylab! You look fat. You look more like "Sky-Flab" than "Sky-Lab." What? You don't like that? Well, what you gonna do about it, sucka? Fall on me? Yeah, right. Whatever, Tubbs.


What you call me, gene display? I ain't your bitch, bitch! Nobody calls me a bitch, except for that large man that one time on the bus. He was smoking and I told him it wasn't allowed, so he said to me, "Shut your mouth, bitch!" so I did. Then he took my Cinnabon and ate it in two bites. He was a really big guy. Don't think I could have taken him down even if I had my ninja stick. I still have nightmares about him. My mom says I should see somebody, but I don't know. Shrinks are really expensive.


Whassup, Foxy Mama? What say you get a sitter, and you and me go dancing? I'll dance your frickin' socks off. You're not wearing any socks but if you were, they'd come off. On the floor. Beside my bed. You mind driving? I don't have a car. I mean, we could take the bus, but that's kind of a drag" What? You don't want to go out with me because I don't have wheels!?! Skank! I didn't want to go out with you anyway. Was just being nice on account of you being naked and all. Later for you!


Dickwad.


Asshole.


Hey Stumpy- how many rings you got, fool? 2,000? Shoot, that ain't nothing. If I were a tree, I'd have way more rings than that. And I wouldn't have to take the bus either. I don't know what it is about the bus. I just never feel good about it. I think it might be a class thing. I like to think I'm middle class, but let's face it- I still live at home with my mom and I take the bus everyday. There's nothing middle class about that" What am I doing with my life? Whatever" I don't care. At least I ain't no old stupid tree stump like you, stumpy. All right, I'm Audi. Gotta get me a Cinnabon and catch the #47 before it leaves without me" Here's hoping I get a seat" I don't like having to stand. People be bumping and touching my body and whatnot. I hate being close to people. See ya', sucka!

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