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Once again, we've wrangled together the past week's Cracked.com goodness and put it all in one recap article, for which we still haven't chosen a suitable name. While better than last week's "Weekly Humor Round-up Jubilee," "The CRACKED Saturday Humor Jam Session" is still pretty miserable. Any ideas? Seriously, write whatever you think this weekly review thingy should be called in the comments below. Remember when Katie Couric urged viewers to suggest sign-offs? Well this is kind of like that, only much, much more important. Let the parade of recent articles and notable comments begin:
Notable Comment: The award for first Martin Amis reference in a comment on Cracked.com goes to Louche_Canon, who felt compelled to let us know that the author "wrote an entire book whose central conceit was 'arcade will always outdo in-home video gaming'." Louche_Canon, thanks for keepin' us classy.
Notable Comment: Digg.com commenter bigjimd366 wrote "horrible top ten list.[...]And Mos Def is an actor and a damn good one ... so is Tom Cruise just not any good." True, Mos Def has acted, and we admit to bending the rules a little on that one. But we're not budging on Tom Cruise.
Notable Comment: "I'd still do LiLo in a sec, I'm a big fan of that drugged up trashy look. screw what others think thats still hot to me! prolly cause I'm a deadbeat myself woo woo" If by "LiLo," you mean the Polynesian orphan from Lilo and Stitch, then yes, we feel the same way. (From phufufoo on Digg.com.)
Notable Commenter's Username: The Digg user "FrodoBongins" commented on this story, and we'd just like to salute him/her-who are we kidding?-him for choosing that handle. Way to fight the stereotype of the guy who wallows in his own filth while engaging in Internet debates/sexual encounters all day.
Best User-submitted PMV: With so many great additions to our poor man's versions list, it's a tough choice. After literally 30 seconds of contemplation, we've decided to go with "Tom Selleck's mustache > Burt Reynolds' mustache," by Cracked.com user RJG86. Congrats, sir or ma'am. If only you would've used your first and last name as a username, then we could track you down and send you the grand prize: an off-white 1995 Honda Civic. Maybe next time.
Notable Comment: "C'mon ... Two things come in to play with Kuchinich here to have a hot banging wife like that: Big Cock, or lots of fucking $$$, or maybe both. But his looks is definately not!" writes uselesssexpert on Digg. It's the big cock, man. It's gotta be the big cock. |
The Covenant's got nothing on Otto.
Gamers are a vengeful god.
Forums so specific and so insane that you'll know you have reached the end of the Internet.
After reading this, you might want to board up your windows and load up your shotgun.
True? Of course not. But damn interesting.
Does that lab coat come in a C-Cup?
Guys, sometimes simple is better.
They probably won't get a movie any time soon.
Mark Wahlberg strides into the Funkodrome, sporting his original 1991 Calvin Klein Jeans slung suggestively beneath the elastic band of a pair of boxers. The chiseled crevice between his beefy pecs gu ...
BJ The Messenger Attackheads Some Crackheads, Invents A Word In The Process: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Apparently Bill O'Reilly Has ALWAYS Been A Douche: The Daily Nooner (EST)!