Everyone knows nature is a symposium of terrifying freaks. Mostly we just take it in stride, because most of the really horrifying ones are rare and usually in Australia.
Sometimes, however, nature gets its shit organized, and what was once a comfortingly rare freakshow then becomes an army at your doorstep. Here are but a few of the natural forces waging war on humanity en masse.
5Argentine Ants Are Everywhere--and We Mean Everywhere
Having just a layman's knowledge of ants, what would you guess is the biggest ant colony in the world? Maybe there's some mega-colony somewhere that's, say, as big as a football field, right? Or a city block?
How about an ant colony that spans four fucking continents? Well say hello to Argentina's biggest export.
It's just a regular-sized ant; it does ant things. It carries bundles to and fro, it frantically scrambles across logs and it colonizes the pants of liars. It doesn't spit acid, it doesn't fly and it doesn't eat people. But by God it has a colony that experts say spans across the Americas, Europe, Australia and Asia (what, do they get back and forth by boat?).
Scientists have dubbed this group a "global mega-colony," and estimate it's comprised of over 22 million anthills, each teeming with upwards of 10,000 members. That's more than 200 billion ants, by the way. Their mega-colony outnumbers humans 35 to one.
It's like a mind-bogglingly huge ant-party! And if you like living on those continents, then you're invited! Whether you fucking like it or not!
This revelation came as quite a surprise to entomology experts, seeing as how ants from different colonies or geographic locations will typically fight for territory if brought together. But grab a couple of these guys from the coast of Japan, and a couple more from the coast of California, and it's nothing but good times. They're all on the same team. For a sober and rational perspective on all of this, please consider this quote from the BBC:
"The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination."
That emphasis wasn't even ours; it bolded itself
Hey, did we mention that ants are one of the only other species known to capture and use slaves? Now who's crazy for building an anti-ant-overlord bunker behind the Stop 'N Save, County Sherriff's Office?!
This is going to happen.