Behind every action hero, there is a hard-working team of toy designers trying to figure out how to squeeze the absolute most money possible from its action figure.
Actually, seeing some of the grossly unnecessary shit they turn out, we're starting to doubt the "hard-working" part. How else do you explain the existence of...
10Ultra Shield Superman
Oh-oh, it looks like Superman just got a little more invincible! You're fucked, crime!
All right, even if Superman didn't have the ability to deflect bullets with his bare fists before tearing the engine out of a tank--and he fucking does--the armor "Ultra Shield Superman" comes with is a bit lacking. The metal covers just his chest and back through the use of an improbable metal cape, the bottom edge of which presumably bangs painfully into his calves every time he tries to walk.
Sure, he's managed to protect the ever important nipples, but he's still exposing his head, limbs and groin. Somehow we don't think Supes really thought this through.
9Superman Matrix Conversion Coupe
While we're on the subject:
Clark Kent needs to protect his secret identity at all costs but he also needs to get to work on time and in the flashiest way possible. It might be a bit suspicious to passers-by if a news reporter suddenly flew by at super speed, so instead he drives this bad boy.
Coming as close to the Batmobile as legally possible without having to change his name to Bruce, Clark pilots his own terrormobile to strike fear into the heart of everyone else in the carpool lane. And despite its lack of rockets or Boy Wonder, the Matrix Conversion Coupe has one feature that blows all cars out of the water while somehow defeating its own purpose: It turns into a space jet.
If Clark ever finds himself in a dire situation where flight is the only option, why not just throw on the cape? Because he's afraid it will draw attention? We're pretty sure the authorities will have just as many questions for you after they see you fly your sports car into orbit, Clark.