12 'Sexy' Ads That Will Give You Nightmares

#4. S&M Vacuums

Back to Germany again, where if you can't make someone feel awkward with your ad campaign then you're just doing it wrong. As you can see, this ad clearly exemplifies why this particular brand of vacuum will suit the needs of any home owner, so long as that home owner only needs a vacuum for the purposes of tying up nude intruders and debasing them in front of a mirror.

You know what's really sad about this scenario (OK, other than the dude's thong and knee boots)? That rug looks filthy.

#3. Toilet Paper Sex

Some products are inherently sexy. The nipple tassel market can't help but be ensconced in sexiness all the time. Lingerie, stripper poles, bananas, all these things carry with them an air of attraction and hotness. And then, on the other end of the spectrum, are products that were specifically designed to clean dirty assholes. Aside from a few "special" people, no one finds these things sexy.

Despite this, the people who make Renova toilet paper thought that ass wiping was a good basis for a sexy ad, the woman looking desperate for access to her man's exceptionally clean anus. Also, their bathroom is a warehouse.

#2. AIDS Awareness: Under the Sea (of Penis)

The ad portrays the worst fishing spot in the known world, somewhere in the Dick Ocean, while a naked Disney Princess guides her condom sub through what is undoubtedly the most obscene coral reef in the history of ever. There are dick turtles, dick octopi, dick jellyfish and even a nasty dick anemone that appears to be splooging in the bottom center.

Worst of all? The artist didn't Google "how does a condom work" before putting brush to paper. You don't put the woman in there, silly. That won't even work, unless you're using Durex XXLs.

The message we're left with? Ladies, do not go scuba diving nude or the entire ocean will try to give you syphilis.

#1. Fucking Hitler

We made a joke up there about Germany and Nazis and we're starting to feel bad about it. After all, the Germans are known for much more than Hitler and sexual perversion. Right?

On an unrelated note, here's a German AIDS public service ad featuring Hitler railing some broad from behind. Everybody involved seems to be enjoying themselves, so we're not completely sure who is supposed to be frightened by this. Really, the only message is that you should always knock before barging into Hitler's room.

The idea behind the campaign was to liken AIDS to some of history's more infamous mass murderers, including Stalin and Saddam Hussein, all of whom are pictured mid coitus with models who we can only assume did not inform friends and family of this particular job.

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For more baffling ads, check out 7 Insane Ads That Have No Clue What They're Selling and 10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children).

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