6 Inventors Who Got Jack Shit for Changing the Modern World

By Bronzulton Q Nov 19, 2009 1,356,621 views
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We all grew up listening to our parents tell us how talent, dedication and hard work would get us far in life. But the reality is that even if you go out and change the world, there's no guarantee you'll be rewarded for your efforts.

There have been plenty of people throughout history that made amazing contributions to modern culture and got precisely dick in return.

#6.
Alexey Pajitnov, Creator of Tetris

There are some games in life that everyone plays at some point. Checkers, chess, Monopoly, doctor and motherfucking Tetris.

In 1984, Alexey Pajitnov was working as a programmer at the Russian Academy of Science, a research and development center you'd think would be busy designing nuclear warheads during the Cold War. His field was artificial intelligence, however, which meant he could spend a lot of time at his desk creating puzzles and games while pretending to work.

Purely to amuse himself he created the falling-block game Tetris over the course of just a couple of weeks. Everybody in the office got addicted to it and over the next few years deals were made to sell the game abroad.

It has since sold more than 70-million copies, earned a couple of billion dollars in revenue and is available on nearly every single video game-playing device in the world.


And occasionally human skin, apparently.

So How Did the Creator Make Out?

The game was invented in a still-Communist Russia, which usually didn't believe in the whole concept of doing things for personal gain. So for creating the most popular videogame ever, Alexey got a big fat check made out to "Fuck Your Balls" in the amount of "With a Hammer."

Actually, Pajitnov's superiors did make him a deal: They would help him get the game published in the West, and they would keep the money. The Soviet government did graciously say that after 10 years they would revisit the issue and maybe see about sending him some of the cash, but long before that deadline was reached, the Soviet government itself collapsed. Maybe there's some abandoned office in Moscow where Tetris royalty checks continue to land in some bureaucrat's inbox, and squirrels are making a nest out of them.

This story does sort of have a happy ending. Pajitnov did manage to secure the rights to Tetris... in 2004. Twenty fucking years and countless millions in missed royalties later.

#5.
George Romero, Writer/Director of Night of the Living Dead

The father of the zombie film is unquestionably George Romero. He's the braaaaaaains (get it?) behind Night of the Living Dead, which many consider to be the basis for the whole modern horror genre. Friday the 13th, Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street were all influenced by Romero's groundbreaking directorial debut.


Groundbreaking, get it? OK seriously, we'll stop now.

Of course it spawned several sequels and countless knockoffs and remakes, and the film itself has been selling on video and DVD for 40 years. Not bad, George.

So How Did the Creator Make Out?

Thanks to his functionally retarded distributor, George Romero has earned virtually nothing from his movie in the decades since release. See, back in the 60s you had to blatantly add a copyright notice into your films, essentially forcing people to slap a big "This Shit Is Mines" onto their movie's title slide, or else it immediately belonged to everybody. Well, the distributor did that, but then they went back and changed the title. Hilariously, they forgot to re-add the copyright notice.


"Wait, that shit is mines!"

So Night of the Living Dead is actually a free movie, technically part of the public domain. The whole thing is posted on YouTube, and you can find remastered versions in the Wal-Mart bargain bin--literally anyone can release their own copies of the movie, and they can legally keep all of the profits.

Today the Internet Movie Database lists 23 different goddamn versions. Somewhere, buried among them, is the one version that actually pays Romero.

#4.
The Winstons, Creators of One of the Worlds Most Famous Pieces of Music

The modern world is full of little sound clips that you know somebody has to have invented, but you never know who. Like that ding that every elevator does right before the door opens, the sound Windows makes when it boots up or the chirp you get when you turn off a car alarm.


Or like the sound of face being smashed beneath our powerful fists.

The Amen Break is kind of like that.

It's a five-second snatch of drums that has been sampled on hundreds--or thousands--of songs. You've heard it this week. You can find the Amen Break in countless hip-hop, acid house, trance and rave songs. You'll even hear it in ads. Its been slowed down, sped up, spliced, chopped, split, dismembered and used as the basis for seemingly every other song that doesn't use a live band. Experts have even tried to figure out the scientific reason as to why it's so popular.

Maybe they should ask The Winstons, since they came up with it. The Amen Break is just a five-second loop of a drum solo from the middle of one of their songs (called "Amen, Brother") which was just a B-side to a single released in 1969.

So How Did the Creators Make Out?

The Winstons played in an era when trying to establish copyright on a five-second hunk of drums seemed insane. We're guessing their drummer (G.C. Coleman) didn't finish playing and think, "Damn, I bet that drum solo is going to become the cornerstone of several genres of music a generation from now!"


"It'll take two generations, at least."

But even after people started "borrowing" it at will, The Winstons intentionally let the Amen Break spread without ever trying to collect from anyone... even after another company named Zero G copyrighted the Amen break as their own so they could try to cash in instead.

Either The Winstons have reached a greater plane of enlightenment, or they've just been higher than Sputnik for the past 40 years.


Probably both.

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197 Comments

APM Stock Music should've been on here.

Everyone uses their music in everything, but nobody knows where it comes from. (I.e. "Spongebob Squarepants" uses alot of their music.)

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/14/2010 6:52 PM
ColonelOrnery

According to Wikipedia

Mikhail is content with the fact that his rifle has safeguarded his country, and has "become synonymous with liberty" despite being disappointed with his invention being used by criminals and terrorists.

In any case, making money off of the AK-47 would make him a war profiteer.

And more of a jerk than a beloved national hero/icon.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/26/2010 4:49 PM
UVB76

Crazy Tetris story.

The previous owner of the tetris rights was owned by the father of a guy i used to go to school with. He's a half j*panese half white guy. (Grad. Class of 04)

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/6/2010 2:05 AM
crankatorium

What of the Awesome face? Will it reach the heights of the Smiley Face?

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/1/2010 4:35 AM
Gil

It had goddamn better

Posted on 6/22/2010 7:57 PM
Jimera0

I hadn't heard of the "Amen Break" until now.

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 2/12/2010 12:33 AM
Umberphoenix

Me neither. Now I realise it's everywhere!

Posted on 5/1/2010 4:34 AM
Gil

apologies for being a pedantic dance music nerd, but is the Amen Break really the staple of Acid House and Trance tracks? Nothing I've heard has really moved beyond 808-style kicks and hi-hats. Surely Jungle, which uses the break on a practically obligatory level, is a more worthy mention?

Ridiculous the Zero G tried to patent it. I severely doubt they get much money for it though

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 2/11/2010 9:20 AM
Hurtdeer

After that he made the sad face...

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 2/4/2010 2:20 PM
piecrust

"in 1949, it became the official rifle of the Soviet Union. It is also the official rifle of Ice Cube." Lmao.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 2/3/2010 7:54 AM
PsyberKayos

What I think should be on this? David Arneson, creator of the role-playing game.

You may be thinking "Wasn't that Gary Gygax?" For which you are wrong and should be smacked. It was David that came up with the idea of controlling a single character in a fantasy world and going on adventures through actions and reactions. He shared this idea with Gary, who wrote the rules for D&D, while David wrote the first campaign setting, Blackmoor. They both went on to found TSR.

Long story short, when Gary died, millions went apes**t. When David died, millions scratched their heads and said "Who?".

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/25/2010 2:22 PM
yeturbumi

really no one gives a s**t shutup.

Posted on 6/19/2010 9:39 AM
zachgeorge

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0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/24/2010 11:14 PM
AntDC

Dude, why the f**k isn't Nikola Tesla on this list?!

2 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/19/2010 3:50 AM
FRX-51

Tesla got some money and recognition for his work, even though it wasn't as much as he deserved.

Posted on 1/22/2010 9:03 AM
Kurzon

Because Cracked already worships Tesla for the god he is, and knew that it was unnecessary because any half worthy Cracked reader already knows.

Posted on 6/22/2010 7:59 PM
Jimera0

Wait, someone from Worcester actually did something with their lives other than sell crack, empty clips and suck dick for a living? Someone who went to South High, the school with no mothaf**kin' walls, had the potential to be rich?
.. Thanks Cracked, for changing my life. State college, here I come!

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/17/2010 12:28 PM
Drugs2Extortion

To this stellar list of inventors who saw jack-s**t from world-changing inventions three more important names need be added. Eadward Muybridge (first motion pictures), Charles Herrold (first commercial radio broadcasts) and Philo T. Farnsworth, who invented something called television. Read about Mediaquakes at: http://blog.baytimedetective.com/

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/16/2010 4:45 PM
QueenieCummins

Google the name James Russell. Russell invented CD technology in 1965, but misadventures regarding his patent meant that Philips and Sony were able to f**k him over for royalties when the CD finally broke in the early '80s. He should be mentioned in the same breath as Thomas Edison; instead, he's been relegated to the same historical dumping ground as Nikolaus August Otto.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/14/2010 6:31 PM
JoyGrenade

These are so messed up! The noble ones are all right, but the Soviet situations are horrible. The Winstons should have copyrighted the Amen Break and given the royalties to charities if they wanted to be altruistic, because I highly doubt if Zero G has any philanthropic intentions for the money.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/12/2010 9:55 AM
eoutlaw

OMFG SO FORREST GUMP DIDNT COME UP WITH THE IDEA? my entire life is a lie. :P

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/6/2010 1:37 PM
stillakilla

OMFG SO FORREST GUMP DIDNT COME UP WITH THE IDEA? my entire life is a lie. :P

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 1/6/2010 1:25 PM
stillakilla

Honestly, Cracked, I hate to say it, but you need to make the Create Account thingy more complicated instead of signing up on the spot. It's ridiculous.

@Arayta
you're not alone xD That's all I thought of mostly when I heard it.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 12/31/2009 7:43 AM
AndrewGxC

Ha wow that Amen beat reminded me of the Powerpuff Girls theme song! xD

How pathetic is that?

2 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 12/30/2009 2:05 PM
Arayta

Not pathetic.

After listening to the theme song online, I am convinced they used the Amen Break. Look it up and listen very hard, man it's the Amen break!

Posted on 1/31/2010 7:56 PM
Terminal_Ny

As terminal said, the amen break is definitely in that. The speed isn't even changed!

Posted on 2/3/2010 2:15 AM
Ahstey

omfg what is up with all the spambot things. utter fuckatude!

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 12/20/2009 1:23 PM
ladypinktoe17
Cracked stuff on
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