The 9 Most Underrated Funny Songs (According to Weird Al)
Weird Al Yankovic has been parodying pop music since back in the days when people still paid for it. When we found out he was willing to do something for Cracked.com in line with his recently released double album, we asked him if he might want to write something about underrated funny songs or even better tell us the stories behind songs he wanted to parody, but couldn't. To our surprise, he did both.

"Oh Suzie baby if you please
Let me give your stump a squeeze."
Yes, Barnes and Barnes are the geniuses behind the immortal "Fish Heads," but a lot of their other work is woefully unsung. Before B&B came along, there was a conspicuous absence of pop songs about the sheer pleasure of dancing with amputees. Not anymore.

"We were a joke at our own record label
They told us, "Make a record, if you're able."
The Tubes had some early semi-novelty minor hits with "White Punks On Dope" and "What Do You Want From Life," but I'm partial to this track from their hard-to-find live album. They made punk angst into a competitive sport.

"There's a baby every minute bein' born without a chance
Now don't that make you want to jump right up and start to dance?"
Tonio K was and is a huge inspiration to me. Even though his songs probably wouldn't be described as "funny," a number of them are aggressively - well, weird. "Funky Western Civilization" is one of my favorites. It's one of the few times you'll hear a dance song about the end of the world which features rapping - in French, of course - by no less than Joan of Arc herself.

"Sputter, splat, squirt, scrape
Clink, clank, clunk, clatter."
Todd Rundgren is not a novelty artist by any stretch, but he'll always have a place in my heart for producing a song that aurally demonstrates the concept of onomatopoeia. Go ahead, look it up, I'll wait.

One of my heroes, Shel Silverstein is perhaps best known for his many humorous and sometimes poignant children's books. But he also released a number of weird and warped albums, one of which featured this cautionary tale about perverts who will stop at nothing for the chance to suck your thumb.

"Friends the danger is not ... the long hairs
And it is not the warmongers all the squares all the truckusers all the fuss
Friends the danger the real danger is thumbsuckers
Yes you heard me my friends I think thumbsucker
And every time every time you make a peace sign with your fingers
And every time you push a door bell
And every time you're on highway stick your thumb
There's always there in the shadows some dirty sneaky thumbsucker
Who will leap out upon you grab your wrist
And start to suck your thumb drainin' all your natural thumbjuices
And leavin' you hopeless heartless a shakin' quiverin' crawlin' slaverin'
Thumbsuckin' addict for the rest of your unusual life
That's why I ain't gonna let no thumbsucker suck my thumb
It'll drive you crazy and leave you deaf and dumb
It'll make you crawl and climb the wall and leave you without no thumb at all
I ain't gonna let no thumbsucker suck my thumb
Met her on a corner in Deluth and that's truth
She was tryin' to fix her shoe in a telephone booth her name was Ruth
She said she was just waiting for a bus
But I hid my thumb cause I knew just what she was
Uhh I ain't gonna let no...
I'll tell you what them thumbsuckers like to do
They suck your thumb till it's wrinkled like a prune
They'll say you've got the sweetest thumb of all they say
But then they suck the thumb of the guy livin' down the hall
That's why I ain't gonna let no...
Suck my thumb suck my thumb suck my thumb suck my thumb"

"Here come the Martian Martians
And they're riding on their Martian bike
Well, we have to find out right now
What kind of ice cream do the Martians like?"
I appreciate this song by Mr. Richman because it deals with an alien invasion in a calm, contemplative way. Instead of freaking out "War Of The Worlds"-style, Jonathan ponders what kind of ice cream the Martians would like. Nice when cool heads prevail.

"Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone."
Years before the popular rock group Styx mined Top 40 gold with hits like "Lady" and "Come Sail Away," they produced the song that most discerning critics call the creative high point of their career: "Plexiglass Toilet." It is, as the title implies, a song about a toilet... which happens to be made out of plexiglass.

"All the rest have peanut butter
All except my dear grandmother
She had a little red tricycle
I stole it."
Jerry Samuels, aka Napoleon XIV, scored a huge novelty hit with "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" However, I've always been partial to this tender love song he wrote to a tricycle. Powerful stuff.

"I will help you understand
And be your 20th century man."
This song comprises one side of a hard-to-find single that was released close to 30 years ago. But I challenge you to find a better song about robot sex.
Find out which of his own songs made it onto The Essential "Weird Al" Yankovic at WeirdAl.com. Or check out one of our favorite underrated funny songs get the treatment it never deserved in today's video Weirdest Wake Ever.








I like Psychostick, personally.
ReplyActually "Don't Sit Down on the Plexiglass Toilet" was released after "Lady" became a hit.
ReplyHow can we get so near to Christmas and not mention Kevin Wilson (although 'Sherman Tank' might be one reason). Check out 'Ho ho f*****g Ho', Hey Santa Claus you Cunt', and 'You Can't Say c**t in Canada' for starters.
ReplyKevin "Bloody" Wilson if you please.
Because Kevin Bloody Wilson is shit. There, I said it. The novelty of saying "cunt" repeatedly in a song kind of wears of after a while
My History teacher went to school with him...
ReplyThe thumb-suckers thumb may be wrinkled and wet, withered and white as the snow. But the taste of the thumb has the sweetest taste yet as only we thumb-suckers know. My favorite Shel Sylverstein... Mostly because I sucked my thumb way longer than I should have...
ReplyWhat, and no one gave you a thumb's up yet? There ya go.
/suck dat thumb
//suspects it's euphemistic
ATTENTION EVERYONE! If you love Weird Al, spam the s**t out of RuckasFavNuckas1 channel. He deserves. Trust me, if you call Weird Al a 60-year old nazi virgin, YOU WILL BE HATED BY EVERY GODDAMN ONE. DO IT. NOW.
Reply"Sy Borg" by Frank Zappa off the album Jo's Garage is a better song about sex with robots.
ReplyBut is it about sex between two robots? If not then objection overruled.
"Stick It Out" from the same album is way more fun though. Having the line "Fuck me, you ugly sonofabitch" in German is a brilliant touch.
what no Tiny Tim and Tip Toe Through The Tulips?
ReplyI hate you so much. So, so much.
lol @ #2 i married his granddaughter...
ReplyPrince recently sued a Prince tribute band for copyright infringment. He just might be the biggest dick in the music world.
ReplyWho else read this in Weird Al's voice?
ReplyOh, Prince. Why do you have to be such a stick in the mud?
ReplyHe's not called Prince anymore. It's now just the sound of a bonobo orgy
Re: #4, not as good as The Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars though. ;)
ReplyThe Tubes! Yeah man! Reminds me of my dad. Back in the 70's/early 80's my dad went to a lot of wacky punk concerts. He loves the Tubes and even saw them in concert and a lot of othr bands. Sounds like it was a riot! Wish I could have gone.
ReplyHaha! The Tubes! I had an older cousin who was into weird, archaic punk that introduced me to them. Most the s**t he played me I ignored, the Tubes included, but I remember that name. Early CA punk bands had a lot of stupid-to-hilarious songs. I'd have gone with the VKTMS "Midget" myself.
Replylittle girls by oingo boingo? :X
ReplyThat Fun With Animals song is awesome! New favorite band.
Replythey produced the song that most discerning critics call the creative high point of their career: "Plexiglass Toilet."
ReplyGood summary of Styx and their place in rock.
That entire album (Life In the Foodchain) by Tonio K is one of the best ever made. With lyrics like "I wish I was as mellow as, for instance, Jackson Browne - but "Fountain of Sorrow" my ass, motherfucker, I hope you end up in the ground", songs like H-A-T-R-E-D are classics.
Reply"Monster" by the B-52 =
ReplyThere's a monster in my pants
And it does a nasty dance
When it moves in and out
Everybody starts to shout