5 Musicians Who Need to Find Something New to Sing About
#2.
Jimmy Buffett
Lyrical Fixation:
How awesome it is to be Jimmy Buffett
Example Lyric:
"Waistin' away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt"
How It All Started:
With 1977's "Margaritaville," Jimmy Buffett had a huge hit on his hands. So huge, in fact, that at some point he went from singing about how awesome it is to live on an island to actually living on an island. Not that he stopped singing about it, though. It was just that now he was able to sing about it all while thinking, "Wow, I really do live on an island, fuck yeah."
"Fuck yeah." - Jimmy Buffett
Why It Needs to Stop:
Plenty of musicians write songs about how awesome they are (we're looking at you, every performer in the history of rap music). But the bothersome thing about Jimmy Buffett's boasting is that he isn't boasting at all. He states it all in a plain, matter-of-fact way, as if to say, "yeah, I guess I'm pretty damn awesome." Regardless of the subject matter, Jimmy Buffett will take some time out to remind you that, unlike you, he lives on a goddamn tropical island. Take for example, this excerpt from the song "Jamaica Mistaica":
"Well the word got out
All over the island
Friends, strangers, they were all apologizin'
Some thought me crazy for bein' way too nice
But it's just another shitty day in paradise"
He's singing about his airplane being mistakenly shot at by the Jamaican government! Is this really the time to drop the "paradise" reference?
"Hold your fire! It's just Jimmy Buffett."
While we admire the restraint it must have taken to not mention that Bono was on the plane with him at the time, this basically makes Buffett the equivalent of that obnoxious rich relative who shows up at your family gathering at the trailer park and regales you with tales of his jet-setting life style and the burdens of SUV ownership while you contemplate the ramifications of calling in to your job at Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving.
This guy can't even sing about food with reminding you how unspeakably awesome it is to be Jimmy Buffett.
"Not just havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that American creation on which I feed
Cheeseburger in paradise
Medium rare with mustard be nice
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise"
Nice. Now we hate cheeseburgers. Thanks a fucking lot, Buffett.
Bacon cheeseburgers are still OK, however.
Look, we'd love to tell you all about how Jimmy Buffett has continued this cycle of braggadocio on his most recent album, 2006's Take the Weather With You, but honestly, these are tough economic times. The last thing we want to do is spend an hour listening to Jack Johnson's grandfather piss and moan about tourists sunbathing too close to his satellite television adorned tiki hut. Just understand, it's definitely still happening.
#1.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Lyrical Fixation:
Southern California
Example Lyric:
"L.A. is the place, sets my mind ablaze
For me, its a race through a cotton pickin maze"
How It All Started:
Those sample lyrics are from the Red Hot Chili Peppers very first single, "Out In L.A." From that point on, references to California ("Under the Bridge," "Californication," etc.) have occupied almost as much space on RHCP albums as the shitty "rapping" does.
Why It Needs to Stop:
Sure, we all love the place we live in to some degree, or else we'd move. But there isn't all that much you can say about any place before things start to get a little redundant. If Springsteen didn't mix in a little sex music with all of those anthems about impoverished towns, at some point the frustration would overtake you and you'd find yourself at your local homeless shelter with a megaphone imploring people to get a fucking job already.
"Just give me a reason."
But Anthony Kiedis has an uncanny ability to reference Los Angeles no matter what the song is about.
A song about chicks? Best believe those chicks are from L.A. A song about depression? L.A. is super depressing, bro! A tune about drug addiction? Blame it on the City of Angels. A song about absolutely nothing? It's a safe bet that at some point, "wang dang dong bell flay" will be rhymed with "L.A."
It's enough to make a person pray for an earthquake, if not for the inevitable RHCP benefit album to earthquake victims that would surely follow (with a title like "Los Angeles Rocks." )
Too bad Randy Newman already has dibs on "I Love L.A."
Unfortunately, the band's fascination with ham fistedly mentioning California whenever possible shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. The first single off of their most recent album was called "Dani California."
Hell, at least take a hint from Sufjan Stevens and branch out to another freaking state.
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And don't forget to check out the Nostradamus' of the music industry, in 6 Musicians Who Predicted Their Own Death in Song. Or find out about some performers' regrettable pasts, in Six Musicians With Pasts They Hope You'll Forget.
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#3- thank you for that pic. freaks and geeks was one of the best shows ever.
ReplyI love the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but you can't argue with that pie chart!
ReplyTaylor Swift and her struggles with love.
ReplyThis is slightly off topic but also like to add any female artist who constantly takes jabs at the girly or feminine type because they're(the singer I mean) slightly more tomboyish at heart so that makes them better by default. Someone mentioned Avril Lavigne too. I can understand them singing about those "shallow airheady" types but come on there's nothing wrong with wearing skirts and heels either ):
Replythat whole "I'm not like all those other girls, they're so bitchy and catty!" thing was totally awesome. When I was 15.
Rihanna and being caught up in destructive relationships
ReplyIn regards to the Chili Peppers and their fascination with L.A., it's fun to visit, lot's to do, but in the end, the air is BROWN and makes your throat hurt, the people are foul mouthed and rude, and you can feel your I.Q. points diminish as you spend the day.
ReplyI'm starting to think Cracked really needs to grow up. It seems like all you guys can do is b***h about things. Not to mention.....it's sad you have more than one article bitching about what Eminem raps about. Where's the article "Cracked REALLY Needs To Find Something New To Write About"? Hoooly shit.
ReplyIn defense of CRACKED, it's got to be hard to come up with new topics as fast as they do. There is bound to be some repetition and similarity between articles. In the end remember nothing in the entertainment world is sacred, you'll relax a bit more.
Jimmy Buffett is one of the most wealthiest musicians (mostly for his vacation tours and restaurants). So is Kenny-G (investing in Starbucks).
ReplyBlues musicians in general need to STOP singing about f***ing trains.
Most wealthiest? Really? Is that because he is more better at his craft than others?
RHCP.........i saw them on their last stadium arcadium tour, and knew rhcp was done. not that the show was bad, it was awesome, i just knew it was coming. then frusciante left and the rest is history
ReplyI hope to be rich enough that I can just be fucked up all day, and still be rich as shit.
ReplyI was gonna complain about hating on RHCP, but then I realized everyone else will already have the complaining covered for one reason or another, so I won't add to the pile.
ReplyAlso, really, I feel like most of us could find these sorts of things to accuse any band of. Believe it or not, when you're an artist that's been around for as long as some of these guys have, there aren't that many things to write lyrics about. You say "Oh, well they all sing about the same things.". Then we have something like jimmy buffet, who then you complain about because he's singing about new experiences resulting from being famous. You can't have it both ways. If people aren't allowed to make lyrics based upon things they have past experience with, and aren't allowed to make em' based on their current activities either, then what are they supposed to do? Sing about going to the grocery store?
Then again bands like RHCP and dudes like eminem have been at least pretty popular for a good long while, so I'm guessing not too many people feel the same way about how they "need to find something new to sing about".
So this is what a 50 year old hipster would write to get on Cracked. Sorry, but not only is music popularity irrelevant, so is everyone's opinion on it.
Replylawlz.
Reply+25 hipster cred for namedropping Sufjan with a x7 bonus multiplier for doing it and trashing RHCP in the same sentence.
Say what you like about Korn, but "Twisted Transistor" is awesome.
ReplyNever could stand Red Hot Chili Peppers. The singer just sounds like a whiny little bitch.
That rhcp pie chart is hilariously accurate.
ReplyJudas Priest writing songs about alien saviours from outer space. Seriously, they have like 2 every album: Sinner, Starbreaker, Exciter, Painkiller, Hellrider, Demonizer, Jugulator....
ReplyAlso, Iron Maiden needs to stop singing about literature.
No wonder everybody in California likes The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Replywell thats just insulting
after reading the korn part, im glad you never wrote another article for this site.
ReplyHe-was-right-though.
How about Taylor Swift? Finding a song by her that isn't about being in love with a guy but having some obstacle in the way of her being with him (which is usually another girl, or the fact that he's just not that into her) or how totally hard it is to be a teenage girl (and how adults can't possibly understand your deep, intense teenage problems) would be like finding a unicorn.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesNot to mention that all of it just makes her come across like that obnoxious clingy chick who can't take a hint. "Even though he hasn't expressed any interest in me/ is in love with someone else, I just know he'd be happier with me!" *gag*
Taylor Swift's first name I thought of when I saw this title. If anyone thinks Em has less variety than Swift then they must lack the comprehension that even an elementary school-er has.
Though all 5 listed are indeed 'getting old, very fast', they had something to sing about originally. However I'm sure many would agree we have quite a few 'popular' artists out there who are singing about absolutely nothing. Aside from attracting attention for being 'special'.
Wait... the two of you know Taylor Swift's lyrics? You actually listen to taylor swift?
That was my thought. I had no clue Taylor Swift's music was redundant - because I've never listened to any of it. I just assumed it was like all other female country music out there - some woman stole her man, he took the dog, the beer and the truck and her welfare check is late so she's getting evicted from the trailer park.
on the other side.. she is hot...
I have a 9 year old sister who loves her, and how do you know you dislike an artist if you never listen to them?
jimmy buffett's whole thing is about living the good life. that's the f*****g point. and that's why he's great. it's not like he thinks he's a serious musician. he's out there having a good time and writing songs about having a good time. i don't understand the author's problem with that. then again, i guess i'd be bitter too if writing mediocre online articles was my biggest accomplishment in life too
Reply