7 Books We Lost to History That Would Have Changed the World

What is it:
The rumored third book to Plato's little unified field theory trilogy. The first two were Timaeus and Critias and are basically transcriptions of one of the greatest, most influential thinkers to ever live discussing how the universe, uh, happened.
If Hemocrates was anything like the first two books in the series, it would have dealt with some brilliant, advanced concepts (like molecules and the Golden Ratio), and would have influenced thinkers and scientists for years to come. Slightly more important and infinitely more badass, Timaeus-Critias also serve as the seminal source for the theory of Atlantis.

Luckily there are other sources.
Since the second book ends rather abruptly (mid-sentence), it's only logical that the third dialogue would have covered the fate of Atlantis, along with the influence it would have had on thought that mattered in non-fictional universes.
Why it's Awesome:
If Disney, Mother Goose and Indiana Jones were all willing to find Atlantis, then Hermocrates has got to be worth at least a bathroom-reading. Besides, Plato's brief descriptions of Atlantis sound like everything James Cameron promised us about Avatar: a huge empire, a utopian society and a spectacular war that results in the empire's collapse (minus the plot stolen from the Dances With Wolves DVD on loan from Billy Zane).

Why You'll Never Read It:
Nobody has any clue where it is. Some have even speculated that Plato never got around to finishing it. But since most scholars dismiss Atlantis as something Plato probably pulled out of his ass to make a point, it may not be as big a loss as the $17 you burned watching Dances With Wolves in 3-D.

What is it:
It detailed the entire history of Rome from its Trojan forefathers to the reign of Caesar Augustus, 800 years later--which means it includes a shitload of information on the subject not written down anywhere else. This bastard weighed in at 142 freaking volumes and anyone who ever got their hands on any part of it agreed that it was absolutely astounding.
After the West fell to ruin, Livy's beast became the single most sought-after book from antiquity, all without a single splash of gratuitous violence or naked women.

Actually, scratch that. There was both. They were Romans.
Why it's awesome:
Imagine finding an ancient copy of "Egyptian architecture" to settle once and for all how they built pyramids. Not the "Time Life Books"-type? That's cool, because you would have also been able to look up all the Gladiator records. All the mysteries of Ancient Rome would be at least kind of answered. Granted you'd probably never be able to read the whole book on your own; just owning one copy of this megalodon would pit every university on Earth in a bidding war to buy it from you.
But just the parts of Livy's histories that survived helped Italy invent a little something called "the Renaissance," and the books themselves were worshiped like goddamn monoliths.

Why You'll Never Read It:
It took Europe 1,000 years to realize that old books might be important after Rome fell, so when the Italians started collecting every scrap of paper left in Rome's locker, all they found were 35 books from the series (107 short). As if to rub it in from beyond the grave, everything the Italians found was fucking brilliant, and the basis for pretty much everything we know about Ancient Rome. So unless the Romans had the whole book saved on an enormous underground thumb drive, the best you can do is watch Gladiator.

What is it:
A lost work that allegedly chronicles the wars fought by Moses, Joshua, and the Israelites as they pounded their way through the Holy Land. Yes, the Jews were still the underdogs, but bear in mind they had a little super-weapon called the Ark of the Covenant to schlep around with them.

Pictured: "Power of God."
Why it's Awesome:
The importance of a book allegedly written by God (either directly or indirectly), cannot be overstated. If this book had survived, it would be in the same category as The Bible. You know. The greatest-selling and most influential book in the history of time. Hell, there are religious sects that are formed based on single sentences in the Bible and full religions dedicated to finding secret codes within the text. Any addition or change to The Bible, even if they're slight, would have had a huge impact on the face of history.
Beyond all that, the story sounds badass. You've got a long quest, the most badass Jews in history and a Death Star-esque secret weapon. For those keeping score at home, that's a God-authored version of Lord of the Rings plus Inglorius Basterds plus Star Wars plus HOLY SHIT CAN YOU EVEN COMPREHEND HOW AWESOME THAT IS?!
Why You'll Never Read It:
Unless it turns up somewhere on the Dead Sea Scrolls, the only other place it could be found is in God's head. We suppose we'll just have to turn to seedy fan fiction if we ever hope to see The Fellowship of the Inglorious Jedi.

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And find out about some mysteries that these books could have explained, in 6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain. Or check out some books you should totally (not) buy your child, in 10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children.
And stop by our Top Picks (Updated 1.8.2010) to see DOB's re-imagining of the Gospel of Eve.
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episode 1 was pretty awesome if you watch the version where they edited out all the crappy jar jar scenes
Reply"minus the plot stolen from the Dances With Wolves DVD on loan from Billy Zane"
Reply"Book of the Wars of The LORD" is likely just another name for The Torah and Joshua combined.
ReplyI like Episode I
ReplyYou're in the middle of talking about the bible's long lost book of pornography and use the phrase 'second coming' and fail to make a joke? For shame, Cracked.
ReplyMongols!!!!
ReplyWell, at least we have an ancient book of Jewish folklore to keep us from masturbating. That's one small step for man...kind. Right?
ReplyOr the Book of the history of the Kings of Israel (Not to be confused with Kings), Which would have detailed every king between David and the overthrow of the monarchy in Israel. That would have been fairly influential.
ReplyActually that is just another name for Kings, Kings is actually only it shortened. Like calling "Return of The Jedi" Jedi.
Fellowship of the Inglorius Jedi...
ReplyAlright, now why the HELL can't I get that awesomeness out of my brain?!!
What about the books authored by Thoth? I'd give my right arm to the shoulder for any three of them.
Replyfellowship of the inglorious jedi sounds like the kind of movie where someone would say "the book was better", when the movie would be FUCNALAKSFJKING AWESOME
Replywhat the F , f**k that mongols f**k them
ReplyI wonder if there's a reason I want to call the guy from the swing dick picture Bill...
ReplyAs if anyone reads anymore.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesi read sir
So, did you just scroll down the article to make a (supposedly) witty comment? Or did you *gasp* READ this article?
Well, I just had to read your pointless comment, so there you go. Disproven.
I was expecting Comedy, by Aristotle :(
ReplyYep, after all that ballyho in The Name of the Rose...
Would have been better than that guff we have by Aristophanes. That guy couldn't tell a joke to save his life. Hated translating his crappy work.
I'd go with Tacitus on this list... but only because he's my history crush. Seriously though, Tacitus was pretty damned good on impartial roman history
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesMe too! Serious crush on Tacitus. Don't really care for Livy, I mean, okay it'd be useful to know how he dealt with the late Republic and especially what his attitude towards Augustus was, but personally I hope they don't find the missing books. If I never have to read Livy again it'd be too soon...
@PallasAthena
No one is forcing you to read anything you don't want to read. To say you don't want books found, because you don't like the author, is just plain ridiculous. I hope that, by some insanely fortuitous miracle, they find every volume.
^ Everyone's opinion but mine is ridiculous!!!!
Nothing about the Mayans? Aztecs? I'm disappoint.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesThis article mostly focused on Western civilization. Members of whom continued the ancient tradition of destroying anything that seemed 'wrong' by deciding that the peoples of the New World were all devil-worshippers who needed to be killed and their works destroyed in order to save their souls.
It's unlikely those lost records would have changed the world. But they would definitely silence all the people who can't admit that Native Americans were capable of developing their very own highly-developed civilizations.
The problem is Mesoamerican civilization were so meticulously and completely destroyed that we don't even know what we don't know about them.
There may have been important records, able to change the world, but how can we tell? Not even hints or legends about them exist today.
No, you're disappointed.
4chan s**t needs to die.
"It's unlikely those lost records would have changed the world" - but they might have told us that the Mayans were just screwing with us when they ended their calendar. Or they just ran out of rock. Or they were expecting to pay it forward that year. Or whatever.
Somebody tell me why #5 is ranked so low. It makes no sense whatsoever.
ReplyThese aren't rankings. This isn't the "Top 7 books." It's just 7 books, given in the order that the author and/or editors thought would flow the best.
Lord of the Inglorious Wars...
ReplyTwin Star Bastards...
Return of the Star King's Bastard...
I got dibs on all these movie names and ideas. George Lucas can kiss the shiniest part of my ass. Don't worry, I promise I'll do my movies right.
You got a down vote? Probably some boba fett worshipping nerd.
Fun Fact: Christian Celibacy wasn't enforced until the 11th Century during the time of Pope Gregory VII during the lay investiture struggle in Italy and Germany.
ReplyHuh Someone might wanna tell the Apostle St. Paul that. He preached it very strongly back in the 1st century. We should tell him he's about 1000 years early.
Fun fact: it's actually always been one of the main teachings of christianity. You have to get married, and then you can basically do whatever you want. Song of Solomon describes all kinds of stuff, including oral.