4Gun Shots to the Shoulder or Leg are Flesh Wounds
As Seen On:
Die Hard, Rambo, Every Action Movie Ever
According to Hollywood:
In the movies and on television, taking a bullet in the arm or the leg just results in you bleeding a bit and limping around with gritted teeth, looking like a total badass. In fact, we're curious why movie cops don't just try slapping gunfire out of the air, seeing as how the subsequent damage is so inconsequential.
When it comes to bullets and your body, think less "make a tourniquet out of my headband and gut a few dozen more terrorists" and more "spend thousands of dollars on painful nerve grafts." For instance, a study done on 58 patients with gunshot wounds to the shoulder found that four months after the initial injury, 51 of them were suffering from persistent pain due to vascular damage and about half ended up with partial or complete loss of mobility in their arm, thus reducing their ability to punch terrorists by 50 percent.
If they're sissies.
The leg isn't much better. Due to the tightly packed arterial highway going through most of your body north of the kneecap, any penetrating round in that general area is likely to sever something really important. Without immediate medical attention, shooting someone in the leg can cause more blood loss than tossing a hemophiliac orphan through a plate glass window.
Honestly, if you really have to get shot either to satisfy a bet or cap off a homerun of a job interview, the best place to get hit seems to be the ass. With its layers of fat and lack of any major arteries or nerve clusters, a bullet to the cheeks is your best bet to avoid permanent damage apart from avoiding gunfire altogether.
3"He's having a seizure! Wedge something in his mouth so he doesn't swallow his tongue!"
As Seen On:
ER, M.A.S.H., Alien
According to Hollywood:
Take Joe Fictional, your average everyday ferret juggler.
One day he is minding his own fictitious business, presumably while juggling ferrets, when he catches a glimpse of a Pokemon episode out of the corner of his eye and goes into a brain-detonating seizure. The people around him have only seconds to force some object, like a wooden spoon or one of his smaller ferrets, into his mouth to keep him from swallowing his own tongue and choking to death.
Joe spasms and struggles, but thanks to the gallant efforts of those around him his airway is kept free from any tongue-shaped obstructions and his life is saved. Except for the whole seizure thing, he might still die from that.
While we would all appreciate a good excuse to ram random objects into strangers' mouths, it turns out that it's medically impossible to swallow your own tongue. So all that stuff you did to help that seizing man in Wal-Mart was technically sexual assault.
It's true that a seizure victim's jaw clenches during a seizure, and that could potentially result in some damage to the tongue, but all of that is small potatoes compared to the injury inflicted by pinning the person down and prying their mouths open to shove something between their teeth.
The human jaw is He-Man strong, and when it involuntarily shuts, it can and fucking should remain that way. Trying to force it open can easily cause mechanical damage to the teeth, the gums, the tongue or your own fingers. Worse yet, having a person bite down on something during a seizure can potentially block their airway and suffocate them, which you may remember as the thing you were trying to prevent in the first place.
Really, unless you are a trained EMT the only thing you should do is protect the victim's head and wait for the ambulance to arrive.
"...why are there chunks of ferret in this man's mouth?"