While we've been kept awake at night wetting our Fraggle Rock footie pajamas for fear of the pending robot attack on our homes, the robots have been slowly plotting a different kind of invasion: one into our bodies.
It all starts innocently enough; a little harmless chip here, a bit of bionic limb there and BAM! Before you know it, your body is a veritable Robotropolis.
This is how the tech takeover of your body begins:
5An Emotion Broadcasting/Receiving Chip
Kevin Warwick, a cybernetics professor at the University of Reading has a new and exciting idea: to implant a mood-detecting microchip in his brain, and then sync that chip with an identical one embedded in his wife. You will notice that at no point did we say this was a good idea, just a new and exciting one.
He hasn't done it yet, but we totally believe he can. Why?
Well, Warwick's got a history of these kinds of bionic shenanigans (dibs on a new DJ name!). He's already implanted a chip in his arm that activates the lights and doors in his office, and another that remotely signals a bionic hand mounted to some plywood in his apartment, presumably just to fuck with the cat when he's not around.
That stuff is all awesomely crazy, but it's the kind of harmless cyborg chicanery a lot of scientists are engaging in recently. The Emotion Chip is a whole other, more dangerous genre of insanity.
It started when his team rigged up the sensor in his arm to transmit to a necklace. It senses when he's excited and makes the necklace glow red, it goes back to blue when he calms down. His wife wears it.
Why this is useful information for the wife to have isn't clear, since you really do need more details before you know how to react (i.e. is the "excitement" you detect due to him having just won the Nobel Prize? Or because he's banging a grad assistant? Or getting beaten by the police?)
But no matter; Warwick plunged ahead and took the next "logical" step: having his wife implanted with a matching sensor that would let her sense his feelings without the necklace. And by all accounts, it works just like he says it does.
So when he says he wants to implant a sensor in his brain--and his wife's brain--that will essentially give them emotional telepathy, we can't help but watch with interest. It's for the same reason we would watch a bear try to ride a motorcycle--it'll be interesting whether he succeeds or not.
And if he does, well, the implications are insane.
Let's imagine a world where this product has been patented and sold for consumer use. If a husband and wife get these, and one of them gets pissed off, does it transmit the anger directly to the other's brain? Let's say one day Warwick is a bit grumpy--maybe his bionic hand is on the fritz and keeps flicking him in the ear while he's trying to work, or maybe he walked by a magnet and now he has to get minor surgery just to unlock his front door--whatever the cause, that general mood is now transmitting to his wife. And now she's pissed off at him for pissing her off.
Wouldn't this just create an endless feedback loop of anger, until somebody winds up getting stabbed? These things will totally lead to a worldwide ragepocalypse.