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Write your own mildly amusing opening paragraph, you cretinous comedy leeches. Day in and day out we slave to make humor for you, and you can't even pick up the ball on one day of the week? To hell with you! We're going away and taking our ball with us. New columnist Cody started us off this week with an article about the horrors behind Full House. Bucholz followed up with an article about the ridiculous history of personal transportation, while Brockway huffed exhaust and wrote a children's book. Next, seanbaby staggered into work late (and drunk) with an article about Aquaman. Dan O'Brien closed us off by singing the praises of our chimpanzee overlords.
Notable Comment: PissMaster asks, "The crop circles can be easily faked, I'll give you that much. But just how in the fAAACK do you explain the YouTube footage of that glowing white orb hovering around the grass and forming them crop circles with some mysterious gravitational field? Hmm. Answer that one, wankers. " That would be completely inexplicable in a world without video image editing software.
Notable Comment: "My children are always grabbing my crotch. Don't think I could support their weight, though. Probably shouldn't post this, makes me sound like some kind of deviant. " We're saving this post for posterity (and the inevitable court case), monstermunch.
Notable Comment: "You could have included Ace Ventura or Blankman on your list. Of course, maybe you didn't because theywere SUPPOSED to suck at thier job." Hubcap, you take back what you said about Ace Ventura right this instant.
Notable Comment:"NOBODY CAN PREDICT the futue bUT gOD " Congratulations, pizzacat, this might be the worst-written comment we've ever seen. Stay gold, buddy.
Notable Comment: col_p asks; "less Star Wars, more of that redhead " Our thoughts exactly, fknrat.
WINNERS! The Craption Contest!
Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.
10.22.09:
Sarah Palin unveils her first 2012 campaign poster. Editor's pick: ...and that's how I became a son of a gun. 10.21.09:
How much do you want to bet that the pilot is a woman? Editor's pick: Is this the Highway Kenny Loggins was singing about? 10.20.09:
"This is not the nightclub you're looking for." Editor's pick: ""Don't worry, baby. I don't need a condom. We have terrible aim." 10.19.09:
Not pictured: a crowd of giant hamsters pointing and laughing. Editor's pick: It's a cock ring. You can tell by the dick inside of it. 10.18.09:
"You wanna see the Dark Side of the moon?" Editor's pick: Early censorship bars were more whimsical. 10.17.09:
Japan. No caption required. Editor's pick: You know how Meatloaf sings "I would do anything for love . . . but I won't do THAT" ? Well, this is what he means by THAT. 10.16.09:
Fun fact: These guys are exactly 1001 yards from the school playground they are photographing. Editor's pick: The only naked breasts those men will see today are their own. |
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My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
I take issue with that first paragraph that you, the Cracked employees, work hard to entertain us while we, the readership, never ever give you anything in return. Look at all the Topics pages! Sure, they're only worth reading about 15% of the time, but still. You people have cushy jobs. And the Photoshop contests are normally funnier than the columnist posts, so really, it's US who slave for YOU. Now say thank you.
little known fact, pizzacat actually tastes like chicken or is that catpizza , what the f**k ever.
Are you kidding me? The craption photo from 10.19.09 is from a skit in a circus show called Cabaret Vertigo, which was a performance by students of the National Institute of Circus Arts here in Melbourne. At the start of the piece, that ring had a fabric apple stretched over it, and the girl is dressed as a caterpillar. It was an absolutely awesome performance and I'm now reeling from the most likely scenario: somebody from NICA or on the Swinburne Arts Campus is reading Cracked. I mean someone apart from me. I will find you.
Pizzacat has taken over as main troll on these cracked baords.
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My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
haha pizzacat is kind of brain dead when it comes to her comments
I've never been first before.
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