The 5 Most Unintentionally Racist Movies About Racism
#2.
AMERICAN HISTORY X
The Aim: To show the world that skinheads are big meanies.
The Clueless White Guy(s) Who Fucked It Up: Tony Kaye and Edward Norton, the artiste who wrote and directed the movie, and the spoiled snot who jacked the movie in the editing room and cut the fuck out if it, respectively.
How They Fucked It Up: This is a movie whose entire message of forgiveness and reconciliation hinges on the idea that a murderous skinhead can be redeemed because a black guy in prison can be funny while washing the underwear of rapists and child molesters.
That's all it takes to wipe away an entire life of racism and make a hero out of Edward Norton. First he indoctrinates a bunch of idiot white kids into a neo-nazi group, then he symbolically asserts dominance over the black race via a playground game of basketball, and he does it with professional tub-o-guts Ethan Suplee on his team.
"I don't care if you got Magic, Michael, Bird and Shaq on your squad, you are NOT WINNING with this guy."
And then (slow music swells) he recognizes that black people are funny, and the movie says, "Well, that's good enough, I guess. You're a decent human being now, worthy of being rooted for! Go and save your shithead little brother, Captain Curbstomp! Save Eddie Furlong in the name of racial equality!"
Oh shit, I guess the transformative power of bad standup comedy isn't enough, is it. It wasn't even close to enough. It was close to simplistic bullshit that says the best way to combat racism is to carpet-bomb Idaho with Def Comedy Jam DVDs, when everyone knows just regular old carpet-bombing will do.
#1.
DRIVING MISS DAISY
The Aim: To show that with time, even the most closed-minded human being will recognize that down deep, we're much more alike than we are different.
The Clueless White Guy Who Fucked It Up: Bruce Beresford.
How He Fucked It Up: Not that the Oscars are really worth a shit anyway, but fuck this movie for winning Best Picture over Do the Right Thing in 1989. I'm not saying that because I'm a huge Spike Lee fan. He willingly roots for the Knicks and he made Girl 6, two transgressions that put him just above "Freelance Babypuncher" in my book. But Do the Right Thing was an honest, evocative examination of why America just can't get over its own inherent racism, and it lost to Miss Daisy, a film rewarded for teaching audiences a Very Important Lesson: Nothing fosters understanding like decades long servitude to a pruny, rich bitch who talks so much shit her teeth are literally brown.
Four out of five dentists agree: Don't brush your teeth with Racism, the #3 leading cause of gingivitis."
This film prepared Morgan Freeman for his role as God in Bruce Almighty, calling for a level of forgiveness that Jesus himself didn't have. I figure Jesus would have lasted five minutes before he snapped, shot Miss Daisy in her shitty mouth and then drove the car into a fucking volcano.
"Eternal Oblivion beats schlepping this bitch around."
Insult to injury? Freeman's character is named "Hoke." You can't just give the guy a regular name? It can't be "Jack" or "Bill" or something? Hoke is the sound your throat makes when something is lodged there. Something like the saccharine, bilious vomit about to drown your mouth after enduring Driving Miss Daisy.
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So did fatboy even watch any of these movies, or did he just skim the first paragraph on the back of the DVDs? This is not even close to the high standard of witticism, research, and dick jokes we've come to expect from Cracked.
ReplyDid the writer of this article even watch American History X? Edward Norton didn't renounce white supremacy because of "a funny black guy" he changed because when he was reduced to a grub like the rest of the prisoners, it started to dawn on him that people are people, good and bad, no matter what race they are.
ReplyWatch the movie next time.
I think the real reason American History X is unintentionally racist is because the black kid pulls a gun and murders Edward Furlong without much provocation at the end, seemingly justifying the view of blacks as criminal scum, in fact was there a black character in the film who wasn't some type of criminal?
ReplyBen Sisko? Er, I mean, Avery Brooks?
This movie left me with the basic message that "violence begets violence". Like it's all pointless and the same bullshit, just with different faces and names...
Also Donner liked putting confederate flags in the background! s**t ton of those in the toy. oh and master bates is now working in the porn industry with a character named - and I wish I was joking- "Dr. has a chub".
ReplyThis article was hilarious, but only because of how completely, tragically wrong and misguided it is.
ReplyI love how this article is about "unintentional racism" and yet it has a PREDESIGNATED section under each entry entitled "The Clueless White Guy Who Fucked It Up" because, of course, when you're talking racism it's a foregone conclusion that there was a white male involved. The irony here is just appalling.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesWhoever gave that comment a thumbs down, f**k you!
Suppose you were mugged and you went to the police station to report it and they handed you a form that had an area marked, "Description of the Black Man that assaulted you:" You don't think that would be incredibly offensive? But yet when someone puts together an article about racism and they design it to have an area ALREADY marked, "The Clueless White Guy Who Fucked it Up:" that's okay? You have to give me a thumbs down because white people aren't allowed to complain about the stereotype that we're all clueless racist dipshits? f**k YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never seen someone care so much that he got a thumbs down.
I care too much :D
Dude, wtf?! Edward Norton's character didn't stop being racist because 'black people are funny", the relationship between him and the black guy he worked with (whose name escapes me) was built over time, not to mention he didn't like the hypocritial actions of the prison nazis (i.e. hating minorities, yet doing business with them). Not mention once Norton decided to disassociate himself from the prison nazi's, it's was the black guy, the person that he started off hating the most, that kept his ass intact for the most part of his prison stay (not including the nazi-rape shower scene which will be forever scarred into my brain).
ReplyOr in other words, f**k you, American History X was a great movie.
Seriously agree with you there! It was a fear of the unknown dilemma and once they two got to know each other it opened Derek's eyes. It's not a cut a dry movie because life isn't cut and dry!
This is a pretty poor article. It's unfunny, un-educated and light on details. Shoddy work.
Reply^^This is a pretty poor comment. It's unfunny, uneducated and light on details. Shoddy comment.
"The 1 Most Unintentionally Racist Article About Racism"
ReplyBrilliant!
wow, this was a s****y article.
Replyand American history X was a damn good redemption story, f**k off bobby "fatass" mcdonald, and never write for cracked again.
"Redemption" because "skinheads are big meanies", which the main character was. He was a skinhead...The article even mentions that the movie was about redemption, you assface...Then again, you probably watched it because you're a f*****g skinhead...Right?
You mean, Driving Miss Daisy wasn't supposed to be tongue-in-cheek? And here, all this time I thought it was a snarky comment on how America thinks it has left racism behind just because it has gotten rid of major problems like slavery, Jim Crow laws, and "separate but equal." I know people who think they are enlightened because they make polite chit-chat with the help, and remember their birthdays, and let them use the front door, instead of treating them like appliances, and I thought the film was making fun of those people. (Hint: if they do everything but wipe your ass, and chew your food, referring to them as "help" is a misnomer.)
ReplyAnd the film was actually affirming their beliefs. Well, shit.
I was all ready to come and make some comment about the first, and maybe greatest example of this was in 1916, when DW Griffith made a film called Intolerance, when was about how people should hate other people for being different. He spent over a million 1916 dollars on it, which, adjusted for inflation, is something like Jurassic Park, Titanic, and Avatar put together, and it was five hours long. It was supposed to be an apology for all the feelings he hurt when he made Birth of a Nation. Unfortunately, in Intolerance, he managed to draw a caricature of first century Jews that would make Mel Gibson cry foul, so, he owes us a third movie.
Dude r u black?
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI swear some people will find anything racist for any reason. Seriously those are the best u could do? What a joke.
American History X??? That's not unintentional in anyway, u do know why they're Nazi's in the first place right? They're father was killed in a drive-by by blacks. The hated for that reason and he didn't decide that they worth the time because they were funny but because their attitude was better than expected in that situation. And nah he shouldn't go save his brother because u know, IT'S HIS BROTHER. That part had nothing to do with equality and everything to do with family. He had changed and wanted to get through to his brother.
You want something unintentionally racist? Watch 'The Smurfs'.
U have a bunch of 'people' (for lack of a better term), all the same colour, running around wearing white pointy hats and the leader of them all wears a red one.
Because someone who misreads racism into situations where there arguable is none must be black. In case it need be said, that's not exactly a post-racial sentiment.
SouthernEli; Am I supposed to shy away from asking a clarifying question because someone may think that I'm white and not very PC? I am very well aware that whites, blacks, asians eet al are likely to have very similar reactions to racial topics.
But I also think everyone needs to lighten the hell up. If people didn't take comments so seriously all the time we wouldn't have to walk on egg shells so much.
No, but you should read the entire AND comprehend f*****g articles before making uneducated comments about them. And for the record, these movies had over-the-top racist themes...
That was the whole point of the movies in the first place. Racism was the theme, not an underlying theme.
I'm not gonna sit here and call 'DMD' some wonderful treatise on racial relations, but 'DTRT' is clumsy and incredibly overrated.
ReplyUnfortunately, I agree with almost everyone else on here. This was spectacularly bad.
ReplyI completely disagree about "Crash." It is the only one of the movies I have seen but I liked it. It shows how racism is everywhere and people are all involved in racism in both ways; the victim and the perpetrator. It is telling us that we cannot defeat racism until we discard our own prejudices and judge individuals for their own actions. I don't believe "Crash" would help promote racism in any way. It makes you think about your own biases and judging people by their looks. This lesson can be applied to so many things in life and it is a universal moral. It is a great movie and I don't understand why it's on the list.
ReplyWhy isn't Soul man on this list?
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesbecause it was made by a black guy, and black people arent racists
Ugh. That was a sloppy one.
I know tons of black racists. However, racism is far more common amongst whites. Just look at Youtube. Look up almost any video posted by a black person. You'll notice a lot of "nigger" comments. On the other hand, look at every other white video and tell me how many times you see the word "cracker" or "honky"...
What about Pootie Tang?
Thing is... Col. Robert Gould Shaw did look a lot like Matthew Broderick. Seriously, no joking at all, that was a good choice for casting. Maybe it should have focused on the enlisted and the stigma the north had towards blacks and other stuff, but Col. Shaw was the commanding officer of the 54th Massachusetts and Matthew Broderick looks the part.
ReplyThe author's point is taken, though. The movie feels sloppy, because it can't decide whether it is about the soldiers' struggles, or about Shaw. The soldiers' story is more dramatic, but Shaw's story is a fact of history, with real documents, and he was a real person, who was fascinating in his own right. It was a tough call, and the director tried to have it both ways. That's why the film ended up looking sloppy.
I wish he'd made two films at the same time, one, a Shaw biopic, and the other a movie about the soldiers, with Shaw as a minor character, using both casts, then played them as a double feature. Two bad the audiences for double features went out with the 70s.
For the record, The Toy is an American rip-off of an enormously better French movie (Le Jouet) starring comic genius Pierre Richard. He's white, the kid's white, the dad's white, the wife's white, everybody's white. (By the way, right on to Richard Pryor for being brave enough to take a role with obvious racial implications and play it straight, as if "human" were the only important characteristic the characters shared.)
ReplyThis article is tripe. An interesting subject spoiled by talking complete bullshit.
ReplySo, you criticize Driving Miss Daisy for naming the black character Hoke, but praise Do the Right Thing, where the main character's name is Mookie?
ReplyAlso, Hoke wasn't that unusual of a name back then. And, Dan Aykroyd's character was named Boolie (a far more unusual name than Hoke).
The absolute WORSE thing about Driving Miss Daisy is that it was advertized as a comedy. A COMEDY. To a 14 year old the idea of a COMEDY featuring one of the Ghostbusters and some old people had promise, the reality is well... Aykroyd has what, 4 minutes of screen time? And it's only a comedy because it has a 'happy' ending or something.