Most Depressing Superhero Ever

Jonathan Wojcik writes articles for us too. You can find more of his work at BogLeech.com.

Jonathan Wojcik writes articles for us too. You can find more of his work at BogLeech.com.
185 Comments
Sorry, where was the comic?
ReplyThis comic was a winner and probably only the fourth time I've laughed about someone getting a tumor.
ReplyI think that's a rather disproportionate punishment - jailtime is what that guy needs.
ReplyI think what is going on here is that the Bog Leech is in this guy's brain and he is dying as a result(I assume that is the super hero's name since it says 'the bog leech' at the top of the comic)
ReplyNo...it's cancer.
I didn't even get it's cancer right away. Thought it's some sort of an amoeba that causes diseases.
ReplyWhatever.
Why did the robber lose most of his teeth?
ReplyCancer is NOTHING to make JOKES for, YOU f*****g PIECE OF THRASH!!!
Reply(So, it seems you are one of the strange individuals who doesn't have a loved one lost by the disease, or someone close to...)
I don't even know what's going on in the comic, and I don't think it's actually a funny comic, but I have lost loved ones to cancer. doesn't mean a good cancer joke isn't funny. Your problem here is that you stumbled onto a humor website when you've got no sense of humor yourself.
Death is death. No matter if you smile or cry, you die.
Look at the comic again, they guy was bad, and recieved a punishment, but you still feel sorry for him, because that's too great punishment for such petty crime...in fact you realize (again), that pretty much nobody deserves cancer. But still, good and bad people die from it. And that's why this one is the most depressing superhero ever.
I have no idea if this is funny or not, because the cancer-signal was too ambiguous. A lot of the time humor, especially short humor, requires you get it in an instant, to create the sudden juxtaposition of events, the unexpected left turn, (yada). If you have to figure it out or have it explained it's never going to be funny. So I got this, after a fashion, by puzzling over it for a minute. Game over.
ReplyI'm sorry. But I can't really joke about this, it's just too extreme. :/
Replymy grandma had cancer she died when my dad was 9.:(
ReplyEveryone who didn't get this loses their nerd cred.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe signal is bats because bats is what Bruce Wayne chose to be his symbol, after asking the question of what would be scary, he was scared by a bat.
...now what would be a funny symbol to light up the sky would be a giant CRAB LOL
... This is about the brain cancer that the villain has, and instead of a 'bat symbol', the symbol of crime fighting in this comic is said cancer.
Good thing I don't have nerd cred to begin with... The problem is that it the cancer patient looks too different from the robber for some people to make the connection without someone else pointing this out. The end result of that is that it looks like it's just 3 random pictures strewn together: Crimial, Ink Blot Signal, Uncle Fester at the Doctor. Surely you can see how that confuses people...
It needs some dialoge like the robber saying or thinking "They'll never catch 2-Eyed Joe!" and the medical chart having "Joe" written on it. Or a name tag that says "Joe" on what I assume is his hospital gown.
Or, you know, he wanted to make it obvious that the two were the same person he could have done something subtle like, you know, put an identifying mark such as a scar through his eye or something.
Still no match for doctor diabeetus. (yes, that's a real person, it's his nick-name.)
ReplyI feel sorry for the robber now. Nobody deserves that.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSure they do. Maybe he just killed a bank full of innocent women and children... They need to make those dye packs full of carcinogens IRL...
vlad, or maybe they knocked over a 7-11 and took $63 out of the register. does that justify a slow and painful death?
it's 3 panels. you don't know the back story. i really hope you dont judge people in real life as quickly as you did this cartoon character.
Or maybe he did just kill a bank full of women and children bradyyy, you vlady and I all know as much as the other about the backstory. I don't recall the bat symbol going up for every 7-11 being robbed either since this was a mockery of that. So I'd assume he probably did more than $63 worth of crime.
CAPTAAAAAAAAIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
ReplyKAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Well, you gotta admit... "Blastoma" sounds like a cool superhero name.
ReplyOr a really disgusting male pornstar name.
They could've let him off with a warning of a benign tumor.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesWhy be soft on criminals? Isn't that why we have superheroes in the first place? To kick the badguys' asses, or even to kill them? Criminals deserve whatever bad things happen to them. Like the guy who robbed a store and got ran over by a dead man on 1000 Ways To Die...
vlad, the problem with that train of logic is that criminals are not always bad people. suppose i miss court for something minor, a traffic violation or noise ordinance. i now have a warrent for my arrest, therefore making me a "criminal." does that mean i deserve to get my ass kicked by a guy in tights?
illegal is different from immoral. criminals are different from bad guys.
Vlad sounds like Kira from Death Note.
don't worry about vlad, there are always terrifyingly amoral nutjobs on the internet
The problem with your train of logic is it's the reason WALL STREET HAS STOLEN EVERYTHING WE OWN FROM UNDER US, CANCER, CANCER UPON ALL OF THEM!!!!
Stop being a goddamn doormat. Good people go to prison because of bad lawmen. In that case, they should be killed just as viciously and remorselessly as the true criminals. No quarter, no mercy! Lets get some Maltese Templar justice up in here!
Oooooh, cancer is the "superhero"? That's what stopped the robber.
ReplyI actually HAVE CANCER, and allow you to make all the jokes you can. Belive it or not, it helps pacients dealing with this illnes, like me.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesgood for you, not the disease part but the looking at the brighter side of life part
You're also (probably) not a criminal. Bad things happening to bad people is a whole different, more comedy-friendly matter. I know a lot of people who survived cancer, I hope you're doing well!
get better.you seem like a awesome person 4 looking at the brighter side in life.
So if you suddenly said cracked was no longer allowed to make cancer jokes they'd have to suddenly stop -_- I've nothing against you personally, you just worded this as if you had supreme control over others.
But best of wishes none-the-less.
Dude, not funny. Cancer isn't something to joke about like this.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI actually HAVE CANCER, and allow you to make all the jokes you can. Belive it or not, it helps pacients dealing with this illnes, like me.
Tell me, kind sir, where is so me kind of list, where it shows everything that is good to joke about. I would love to read it to inform myself on all things appropriate and not appropriate to joke about.
They say the same thing about strokes, my grandmother dies of nearly EIGHT strokes. Other family members died of cancer. As long as the joke is in good taste, I don't see the problem.
Its not like they are saying "Ha, ha! You had a stroke!" It's like in family guy when a boat goes by and the main guy yells "Stroke, stroke, stoke." Prompting Peter to reply "Stop making fun of me!"
Anyway, this is a brain-eating amoeba...
Nothing is sacred. Especially not on the interwebs. This is the device that allows you to eventually remove the enormous steel shaft from your anus.
...The FSM has shown this man the light?
Reply