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Society is mostly failure. For every LeBron James, there are thousands and thousands of guys convinced they could be great if they could just get this dribbling thing down. Precious few of us will ever make money doing the thing we love. But then you have guys who got successful by sneaking in the back door. These are the ones who failed, and failed so hard, that their failure became a source of entertainment for millions... and they cashed in accordingly. #5.
William Hung
American Idol is a lot like spandex. By showcasing marginally talented singers alongside total train wrecks, it makes the average ass look great and the horrible ass look even more horrible than it already is. William Hung falls into the "horrible ass" category of American Idol contestants.
How Bad Was He? Hung was initially featured on the show as one of those joke auditions that soccer moms laugh about for the next few days and then forget about forever. And for good reason: His performance was terrible to the point it bordered on depressing. In case you didn't watch the video, just imagine every Asian stereotype you've ever heard of all gathered in one place to sing a Ricky Martin song. That's William Hung. He was, naturally, booted off the show and most people assumed that was the last they would hear of him. They were wrong.
People Actually Paid For This Crap? Something about William Hung's positive attitude and off-key warbling struck a chord with people. Within days, a William Hung fan site popped up and recorded four-million hits the first week it went live. Hung was booked to appear on several talk shows and bootleg William Hung t-shirts were all over the Internet. Soon after, he signed a freaking recording contract and dropped out of Berkeley to pursue a full-time music career while thousands of legitimately talented, unsigned musicians quietly drank themselves to death. His first album, made up of mainly covers, sold over 195,000 copies and debuted at number one on the Billboard Independent Album Chart. So far, Hung has released three albums, and if the album covers are any indication, he takes this shit very serious.
#4.
Amanda McKittrick Ros
Amanda McKittrick Ros is believed by many to be one of the greatest bad writers who ever lived. How do you earn a distinction like that? You earn it by opening your novels with sentences like this... "Have you ever visited that portion of Erin's plot that offers its sympathetic soil for the minute survey and scrutinous examination of those in political power, whose decision has wisely been the means before now of converting the stern and prejudiced, and reaching the hand of slight aid to share its strength in augmenting its agricultural richness?" How Bad Was She? Amanda McKittrick Ros absolutely refused to describe anything in a straightforward, understandable-by-anyone kind of way. Instead, "needlework" was "the use of the finest production of steel, whose blunt edge eyed the reely covering with marked greed, and offered its sharp dart to faultless fabrics of flaxen fineness"; eyes were "piercing orbs"; legs were "bony supports"; people didn't blush, they were "touched by the hot hand of bewilderment"; and breasts were "lactose engorged orbs of enjoymentastical funliness." We might have made one of those up.
The phantasmal visage of the elderly feminine figure of Amanda McKittrick Ros reflects the tranquil knowledge that she may be the least comprehended and thus most deplorable of scribes (this old woman sucks at writing). Oh, and that sentence above about Erin's plot? Apparently it has something to do with the western borders of Ireland. But you already figured that out, right? People Actually Paid For This Crap? No publisher in their right mind was going to touch Ros's first novel, Irene Iddesleigh, so her husband financed the publishing himself as a 10th anniversary wedding gift to his artistically challenged wife. It was destined to languish in obscurity like 99 percent of self-published novels do until someone sent a copy of the book to humorist Barry Pain, who called it "a thing that happens once in a million years" in an 1898 review. She soon developed a following among fellow writers. C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien often held competitions to see who could read her work the longest without bursting into laughter.
Mark Twain called Irene Iddesleigh "one of the greatest unintentionally hilarious novels of all time," a statement that we'll probably use as the basis for an article sometime in the near future.
Even more impressively, Ros managed to turn this notoriety into a career, eventually earning enough cash to buy a house which she named "Iddesleigh" as a retort to her critics. To this day, a first edition Irene Iddesleigh sells for hundreds of dollars, while the chances of anyone buying any of those one cent copies of your self-published robot based romance novel you listed on Amazon.com remain hilariously slim. #3.
Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards
Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards wanted to go to the 1988 Winter Olympics and compete as a ski jumper. There were a couple of obvious problems with this. He was about 20-pounds heavier than the average ski jumper, he had no sponsor and his trainers spoke languages that he could not understand. But sometimes, you just gotta say "whatever, I'm going to the Olympics." How Bad Was He? Like any good nickname, Eddie Edwards earned his "The Eagle" moniker by being as un-eagle like as one could possibly be. In addition to a flabby midsection that guaranteed he would soar less like an eagle and more like a fat kid propelled from the bed of a moving truck that's just hit a pothole, Eddie also had piss poor eyesight. Both are huge detriments when competing in feats of skill, but a rule that stated every country could send at least one representative to an Olympic event gave The Eagle a clear path to Olympic glory. Because most Brits at the time were more concerned with soccer and George Michael worship, Eddie got the nod to represent his country in the ski jump at the 1988 Winter Games. Naturally, he fucking sucked. Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards finished dead last in every event he competed in.
People Actually Paid For This Crap? Eddie The Eagle didn't come away from Calgary with any medals, but thanks to his goofy persona and borderline insane backstory, he did come away with $65,000 deal to tell his life story to a tabloid, which is more than any of the other ski jump contestants can say. His brief moment in the spot light also inexplicably resulted in a number two hit, "Mun Niemi En Eetu" ("My Name Is Eddie"), in Finland. You know who didn't record a number two hit in Finland? Gold medal winner Matti Nyknen of Finland. Even IOC president Juan Antonio Samaranch gave The Eagle a shout out during his closing ceremony speech by proclaiming "[At Calgary] people set new goals, created new world records and some even flew like an eagle."
The IOC then promptly instituted a rule that stated you must have placed in the top half of an international event to be eligible to compete in the Olympics, thereby guaranteeing nothing awesome would ever happen at the Olympics again.
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I've seen Ed Wood's "Glen or Glenda" & therefore cannot deny his rigghtful position at first place. Wait, Uwe Boll should be in here.
No Tommy Wiseau?
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"Shitty music, sold out venues and scalpers charging exorbitant prices? Sounds like an Eagles concert!" I couldn't have said it better myself!
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Robert Coates was originally on the list, as was William Topaz McGonagall. Just because it didn't make it to the final cut of the article doesn't mean no one researched it. And Eric the Eel doesn't count, as he only qualified by being good at not being disqualified.
Oh, how I have waited for this article to be written. I always thought that someone should write an article about people who were really, really bad at things; I even suggested it in the forums many months ago. Unfortunately, this article wasn't particularly funny, or particularly well-researched. There wasn't even any mention of that actor who refused to die when his characters were meant to (his name was Robert something), or the legendary Eric the Eel at the Olympics, who was very similar to Eddie the Eagle. Eric the Eel, however, was a swimmer from a country with no Olympic-sized swimming pools, who did a qualifying round in which EVERY OTHER PARTICIPANT got disqualified for false starts and things. So it was just him, in a swimming pool, guaranteed to make it to the final, despite the fact that he swam at about half the speed of anyone else who got to the final. Sorry if that story has been told already; I probably should have checked before I wrote it.
Has no one mentioned the Jamaican Bob-sled team? (Hero status in their homeland and a movie) Haven't read all the way down yet
I swear to God. I only posted once. Something wacky is definitely going on with the comment program.
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So does this mean in a few years, "EPIC FAIL" will be considered a compliment?
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Big Fish is Tim Burton's? Didn't know that. So, sorry then. I was wrong. Tim Burton made at least two good films.
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Helen Keller didn't fail... she beat all odds, and tried hard. The people on this list all sucked at what they did. Who should have been on this list is William Topaz McGonagall, the worst poet in the history of the english language. Seriously, google him. It's awful.
Big Fish was a good film by Tim Burton. And why isn't Helen Keller on this list?
"Ed Wood" is Tim Burton's only good film. And a very nice movie, by the way. I watched Plan 9 From Outer Space. It's not that kind of movie that is so bad it is good. It's a whole new level of being bad. It's so bad it's plainly bad. I could watch the whole thing. And I could only listen to 1 minute and 22 seconds of Florence Foster Jenkins.
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