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Cracked Round-Up: Fall Edition The mailman has just delivered our 4th quarterly shipment of Canadian painkillers and research chemicals, which can only mean one thing; Fall is here! It's time for drunken costume parties, rum-soaked feasts, and pumpkin-and-codeine smoothies The ball started rolling this week with a Bucholz report about the dangers of space travel and douchebag co-workers. Brockway followed up with an article about real-life epic mounts, while seanbaby provided the world with a superior answer to Maxim. DOB closed us off with a look inside the erotic fiction industry.
Notable Comment: "Every time I read an article like this I wonder if the government wouldn't keep a special eye on people who read articles like this. Shit, now I've commented. I'm so on someone's list now." You're on our list, Lakonislate. Our list of assholes.
Notable Comment: "Oh, and ladies, here's Pelcurus's free sex tip #1. Don't waste your time telling your man he's going in the wrong hole. He's not. That's the exact hole he's going for." And in one fell swoop, pelcurus disqualifies himself from any form of public office or babysitting job.
Notable Comment: "Fear of black people should be on the list. " Vagitoe, this article was about irrational fears rational people have.
Notable Comment:"There is a story about Robert Helpmann (the guy who plays the childcatcher). His nephews had just watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; clearly, they recognized their uncle as the creepy candy-selling maniac from the film. Freaked out of their little minds, they asked their parents whether Uncle Robert was really a childcatcher. To convince the children that he wasn't actually the character that he plays in the film, the parents called Robert Helpmann up. When he picked up, he whispered "I have a little secret....... I really AM the childcatcher!". What an awesome guy. " We have no way of knowing if this is true, odeed, but we really hope so.
Notable Comment: col_p asks; "For the record, I've been to Hemingway's house in Key West, and it's awesome. Also, he kept it stocked with a huge amount of six-toed cats. " Everyone needs a hobby, Literacy.
WINNERS! The Craption Contest!
Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.
10.15.09:
Maybe someone should put up a sticky note about getting a suggestion box. Editor's pick: The Great Wall of Health Code Violations 10.14.09:
In Soviet Russia, Penis enlarges PILL! Editor's pick: It must be a laxative, because every Craption I've seen so far is shitty. 10.13.09:
"Using hydrogen for these ballons was a great idea, can't wait for the Hindenburg show tomorrow!" Editor's pick: "I'm right by the John Goodman and Sarah Jessica Parker floats." 10.12.09:
Will someone tell Woody Harrelson I found his backpack. Editor's pick: He's going to feel so silly when he realizes that he's protesting to legalize oak leaves. 10.11.09:
How lesbians get nailed. Editor's pick: Mary-Kate and Ashley finally release the movie we've all really been waiting for. 10.10.09:
... and by transformers 5, they had just stopped trying. Editor's pick: The truckers' secret handshake. 10.09.09:
Guitar Hiro Editor's pick: I... wanna hide and seek all night.... and potty e-ver-y day. |
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I've had Notable Comments! The trick is to say something the Cracked writers can reply to, and in replying, look funny and therefore get laid. You could also be interesting, I think, but don't even bother trying to be funny. None of my hilarious comments are ever deemed notable, which is a shame because I am oh so very funny.
nice, here is a funny site www.ponderingstuff.com
You're right to feel bad about never getting into the notable comments section. We meet up every week for free pizza, open bar, and stripper orgy. But I'm sure you'll make it SOMEday.
gormster, ill pay fiftyFIVE bucks to dan to sodomize you, both of us, i hope you dont care
oo_xerox, I'll pay you fifty bucks cash to suck my dick.
I feel so sorry for kaly76hummer... he spends so much time and effort commenting, and he's never yet gotten a "notable comment". Alright, so his comments are all fairly similar, but still.
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I`ll pay fifty bucks in cash to be included in the notable comments.
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
When the f**k will I ever be included in the notable comments section ?
f**k yiz all then
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