|
Forty years ago, half a million people gathered for three days of peace, love and letting their private parts flap all over the hashish-covered mud at a place called Woodstock. This event exists as mythology for most of our readers, who only know it from a series of photographs and wistful documentaries. So let's take a moment to set a few things straight... #5.
Woodstock Was Conceived as a Hippie-Exploiting Cash Grab
If there's one thing hippies hate, it's war. If there are two things hippies hate, they are war and doing things for profit. If we move the discussion up to three things, they would be war, money and 1980s Latin sensations Menudo, but we don't have time to get into that.
Knowing that money and the pursuit of it is flower child kryptonite, you may be shocked to learn that the concert that defined the 60s owed its origins to some squares looking to make a buck. And not a buck for Tibet, either. In March of 1968, drugstore heir, John Roberts, and Yale Law grad, Joel Rosenman, placed the following ad in the non-hippiest publications of all time: the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times: Young men with unlimited capital looking for interesting, legitimate investment opportunities and business propositions. Since this was before the internet was invented, nobody read the ad with a heavy emphasis on the words "men," "interesting" and "propositions" saving the men from the sort of gay escort service spam that will likely flood the comment section of this article. Instead, Roberts and Rosenman were contacted by Capitol Records exec, Artie Kornfeld, and hippie concert promoter, Michael Lang, with the idea of a starting a music studio in Woodstock, New York. When that idea didn't pan out, the suits struck gold with the notion of a three day art and music festival. Pre-sold tickets would go for $18 (that's $105 in today's money, folks) and latecomers would have to shell out $24 at the gate.
Despite how that plan eventually worked out (hint: it didn't) the original goal was to make a gigantic buttload of cash off of young, middle-class music lovers. Forming the company Woodstock Ventures, the four got to work at putting together a line-up that would draw enough human cattle to make the men a tidy profit. They thought they could get 250,000 hippies to show up. At the equivalent of a hundred bucks a ticket, it made for an interesting business opportunity that even a non-man-pimp had to waggle his eyebrows at. #4.
The Promoters Lied to Make it Happen
Once the three squares and a little hippie agreed that a three day music fest was the way to get paid, the hunt was on to find a suitable locale. But there was a problem: No one wanted thousands of unwashed, doped up counter-culture ruffians on their property.
So the fat cats started making promises. Wacky promises, like that "there would only be 50,000 concert goers" and "they totally knew what they were doing." In the spring of 1969, Woodstock Ventures leased Mills Industrial Park in Wallkill, New York as the proposed site for the festival. Upon realizing that a place named "Wallkill" was better suited for a three day death metal concert, the people of the town up and passed a "no hippie concerts here" law exactly one month before the festival was supposed to take place. The official reason for the ban was that town officials had a stinking suspicion that Lang and company hadn't planned their porta-potties properly for the prospective 50,000 people. Undaunted, the fab four kept looking. They were approached by Elliott Tiber from Bethel, New York with the offer of using his 15 acres for the concert. "Too small," they said. So Mr.Tiber put them in touch with one Max Yasgur, a dairy farmer with 600 acres in Bethel. Yasgur agreed to meet with the promoters with the understanding he would be leasing his land for $75,000, once more, for an audience of about 50,000.
That 50,000 number is important. For one, over 150,000 tickets had sold by this point. For two, the promoters had run radio and newspaper ads across the country inviting people to their little hootenanny. They actually expected 250,000 to show up. For three, 250,000 times two came. #3.
Woodstock's Performers Were ALL About the Benjamins
But just because it was a bunch of money-grubbing promoters behind the scenes, doesn't change the fact that it was all about changing the world with music, man! After all, guys like the Grateful Dead and Hendrix weren't up there to get paid! Well, now that you mention it... Several acts, THE WHOse names we won't mention (until a few paragraphs down) refused to take the stage without seeing a flatbed full of cash first. Woodstock promoters had scrambled to sign big acts through the spring of 1969. Without big names in the line-up, other big names wouldn't bother signing on. They were in a musical pickle, which could also be called a melodious catch-22. Or maybe a harmonic bind. We could do this all day.
Their first big break came when Creedence Clearwater Revival signed on for a whopping $10,000 or $11,500, depending on who you ask, in April of 1969. With a total talent budget of $180,000, Michael Lang set a cap of $15,000 for each performer, big or small. This was fine for the likes of Richie Havens, Joan Baez and Janis Freakin' Joplin. Not for Jimi Hendrix, though. Hendrix wasn't going for that lowball malarkey after scoring $150,000 for a single concert earlier in the summer. Lang ultimately signed Jimi with the promise of a $26,000 payday, twice what any other act was getting. But when the other money-grubbers (Jefferson Airplane) complained, Lang explained that Jimi was actually doing two sets during the festival (SPOILER ALERT: He wasn't. Hendrix's contract stipulated that he closed every show he performed at. Ever.). And all those lyrics about peace, love and free nachos for all? BALDERDASH. The three biggest acts of the second night (Janis Joplin, The Grateful Dead and The Who) informed Lang and co. at the 11th hour that performing wasn't in the cards until bitches got paid. The Grateful Dead. Seriously. These Pigpen looking, peace spouting, commune dwelling, anti-capitalists wouldn't touch their instruments until cash was in hand:
And remember, there were 500,000 hungry, sweaty, dehydrated, mud-caked would-be rioters in the audience. Not keeping the music going could have induced a Lord of the Flies breakdown in civilization out there. So Woodstock Ventures emptied their pockets and discovered their pooled resources amounted to $1.25, three LSD tabs, an orange rind and Grace Slick's fake phone number.
The panicky promoters begged a local banker to put up the money, based on the fact that Richie Rich Roberts had a $1,000,000 trust fund he could use as collateral. Mr. Banker said, "Cool," and proceeded to get in his car and drive to the bank, which would have been hella easy since this is what the roads looked like up to 10 miles away from the concert:
Yet somehow, he did. Mr. Banker made it to the bank, counted cash on hand, kindly accepted Robert's personal check for "50 or 100 thousand dollars." Only that kept the "three days of peace, love and music" from grinding to a silent halt as the bands went on strike, mid-concert. |
12 Bizarre True Stories Behind Famous Band Names
5 Massive Hit Songs That Almost Didn't Get Released
7 Obnoxious Assholes Who Show Up At Every Concert
7 Songs From Your Grandpa's Day That Would Make Eminem Blush
Join eRepublik! Change the world, rewrite history, become the president of your country, build the biggest company in the world, or lead your country to victory in battles. You can do whatever you want, the choice is yours. http://www.erepublik.com/en/referrer/Roflolmao
Welcome to Shopping →→→ http://www.itemscool.com Best quality, Best reputation , Best services With our advanced manufacturing, production lines and well-organized sales networks, we can provide many products, such as apparel, shoes, caps, handbags, etc. Our goal is "the best quality, best reputation and best services". Your satisfaction is our main pursue. You can find the best products from us, meeting your different needs. HOT SELL Product Brand is below: Nike Air Jordan(1-25)/Jordan Six Ring/Jordan Fusion/Nike Shox/Air Max/AF1/Dunk: $32 Polo/Ed Hardy/Lacoste/Ca/A&F ……T-shirt: Coach /Gucci/Lv/Ed Hardy/D&G/Fendi ……Handbag:$35 Christian Louboutin/Lv/Ed Hardy/Gucci/Coach/Lacoste/ Timbland……Shoe :$35 True Religion/Coogi/Evisu/Ed Hardy/Prada ……Jeans:$30 New era/Gucci/Ed hardy ……cap : $13 Okely/Coach/D&G/Fendi/Gucci/Armani ……sunglass : $15 Nike shoes: 32 $, True Religion jeans: 30 $, Ed Hardy, t-shirts: 12 $, NFL Jersey: 20 $, Boots UGG: 50 $
wanna watch free adults movies or naked pics?? pls check out for free__ClassyMingle.c o m__ . Wanna find your sexy partner easier and more effective?? Check out for free: --ClassyMingle.c o m--where you can meet the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. What are you waiting for? Find your sexy partner and hot movies NOW ! You will love it!
Welcome to Shopping →→→ http://www.dudemalls.com Best quality, Best reputation , Best services With our advanced manufacturing, production lines and well-organized sales networks, we can provide many products, such as apparel, shoes, caps, handbags, etc. Our goal is "the best quality, best reputation and best services". Your satisfaction is our main pursue. You can find the best products from us, meeting your different needs. HOT SELL Product Brand is below: Nike Air Jordan(1-25)/Jordan Six Ring/Jordan Fusion/Nike Shox/Air Max/AF1/Dunk: $32 Polo/Ed Hardy/Lacoste/Ca/A&F ……T-shirt: Coach /Gucci/Lv/Ed Hardy/D&G/Fendi ……Handbag:$35 Christian Louboutin/Lv/Ed Hardy/Gucci/Coach/Lacoste/ Timbland……Shoe :$35 True Religion/Coogi/Evisu/Ed Hardy/Prada ……Jeans:$30 New era/Gucci/Ed hardy ……cap : $13 Okely/Coach/D&G/Fendi/Gucci/Armani ……sunglass : $15 Nike shoes: 32 $, True Religion jeans: 30 $, Ed Hardy, t-shirts: 12 $, NFL Jersey: 20 $, Boots UGG: 50 $ $#^@$^@#$
But hey, at least it wasn't Altamont!
I am not surprised in the least.. f**kin hippies
MartyRotten writes "...including muscians such as John Phillips...." Oh yeah, tha, uh, DAUGHTER-FUCKER, yes?
__http://www.MillionaireCupid.org__ is a community for those seeking interracial relationships, friendships, dating and more. Join now to meet your dream date in this comfortable community of cultures and ethnicities.
Everybody these days is supposed to wish they were at Woodstock but I personally would rather have been at Monterey, which took place about 2 years earlier. Monterey was put on by music people including muscians such as John Phillips and was a lot better organized from what I'd heard. It was only good luck and good karma that Woodstock didn't become a diasater like....say....Altamont.
wooh!!! woodstock!!!
this is barely literate crap
this is barely literate crap
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
They called it Woodstock, because Bob Dylan lived in that town, 30 miles S of the dairy farm where it was held.
Anyone been to Bonnaroo? Manchester Tennessee...Friggin' awesome time, far more organized that that cluster f**k...but I still would have been there!
"...which would have been hella easy since this is what the roads looked like up to 10 miles away from the concert:" Did you just say "hella" Mrs. Kristi Harrison? I am dissapointed.
www.MillionaireCupid.org is a community for those seeking interracial relationships, friendships, dating and more. Join now to meet your dream date in this comfortable community of cultures and ethnicities.
$30 nike jordan prada timberland supra,lacoste,gucci shoes $25 CHANEL, GUCCI, LV, COACH, FENDI, BURBERRY, D&G, JUICY, Ed Hardy handbag $30 coogi jeans,armani,Crow Holder,D&G,Evisu jeans,Diesel,Christian Audigier,Rock,True Religion,Affliction,Ed Hardy,RMC jeans etc $35 Coogi,Crow Holder,D&G,Evisu,Bape,BBC,Diesel,Christan Audigier,Rock, True Religion, Affliction, Ed Hardy, RMC hoodies $15 Michael Jackson, Armani t-shirts,Affliction,Coogi,Ed hardy,LRG,Crown older,Evisu,G-star,Polo,Christian Audigier t-shirts Top quality! Free shipping!Free returns!No any extra cost! Please visit----------------------------------- http://www.netsowntown.com
My friends recommended me a very interesting place ~~~ AgelessFriends.com ~~~ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. You may wanna check it out or tell your friends.
My grandfather was the director of the health department for the town of Bethel during Woodstock and was the one who approved the permit. He was quoted in his report afterwards as saying" all the ingredients for a disastrous riot were there.. and that it was possible that the use of illegal drugs kept the concert goers in a docile mood and prevented a riot."
5 Facts About Woodstock The Hippies Don't Want You to Know
The 15 Most Baffling Boasts in the History of Rap
What Is "Progressive Rock"? (Other Than Unpopular)
14 More of the Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever
The Men Who Stare At Goats: New Trailer
Curse of the Duck Hunt Dog
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Digg
Del.icio.us
Fark
