We don't want to make light of mental disorders or its sufferers, but you have to admit sometimes a person can be just mentally ill enough to be cool. After all, chicks totally dig troubled guys.
Now, when we say "troubled," we're not talking about that one naked dude on the subway who constantly masturbates and can only talk in machine code. No, we mean the complex and difficult soul, present in 70 percent of Oscar-winning movies, who spends two hours battling against his inner demons while being submerged up to neck level in pussy. You can be that guy, if only you're lucky enough to contract an inconvenient and traumatic brain condition.
Here are 5 such disorders that might just be cool enough to get you laid.
Foreign Accent Syndrome
This very rare condition arises as a result of a stroke or head trauma in which the brain's speech center is damaged, causing the sufferer to regain consciousness with a totally different accent. In addition, some people pick up a "bizarre intonation." We're not sure what this means, but we're guessing it's how you would sound if you tried to have a conversation while being enthusiastically fellated.
Will it get me laid?
Foreign accents immediately make you more interesting and exotic to the opposite sex, even if you're a fat, balding IT tech with a cubicle papered in Battlestar Galactica posters. The trouble is, you don't know which accent you're going to get. Some (Irish, for example) are business-class tickets to vaginatown, whereas others make you want to claw your own ears off and then eat them.
You could get lucky, like the lady who woke up speaking a strong Jamaican patois. Or, in a chilling worst-case scenario, you might end up like the woman who regained consciousness thinking she was French.
How do I get it?
From the cases we found online, the primary cause seems to be falling off motorbikes. As you'll see throughout this list, if our research is reliable--and we have no reason to suspect that a cursory scan of Wikipedia could be anything else-- then approximately 90 percent of interesting mental disorders happen this way. So, if you're in the mood for a change, and you're the kind of guy who likes fun surprises, just ride your bike into a truck and see what you wake up with.
Is it worth it?
Although some sufferers acquire specific dialects, most just end up with a "general foreign accent," which could make you sound like a brain-damaged Mrs. Doubtfire-type. Not sexy. However, the condition is usually short-lived, so go for it! What have you got to lose?
Ok, don't go for it.