6 Ways Video Games Are Saving Mankind

Most people assume that World of Warcraft has only two practical applications: It teaches you to gain weight and also haggle for virtual money with impoverished Chinese sweatshop workers. But did you know the game is pretty good at simulating public-health crises? That's heady stuff for a game about gnome knights and she-cow sorcerers.
In September 2005, "Corrupted Blood," a virtual plague, spread through the fictional world of Azeroth, killing everything in its path. WoW's programmers designed the outbreak to infect only higher-level players, but a nasty glitch let Corrupted Blood jump from the elite players to even the lowliest Dwarven shoguns and Orcish taxidermists.

"I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about anymore."-Photo Research Department.
While the game's administrators struggled to quarantine the infected, some bright bulbs noted this virtual pandemic modeled the spread of real-world disease, particularly with regards to human response. Epidemiologists usually rely on past data and statistics to predict an outbreak's trajectory, but with the Corrupted Blood incident they had a digital terrarium filled with real people escaping cities, risking their lives to heal the sick and generally freaking the fuck out.
The Corrupted Blood mishap proved to be a blessing in disguise. Public health researchers gained a trendy new research tool, and Warcraft finally contributed something worthwhile to the canon of human thought (besides Leeroy Jenkins that is).

The human body does not age like a fine wine. Your skin prunes, your libido droops and you forget your own damn name. Not to worry, though, human ingenuity has come up solutions to all these problems. You have Botox for your face, Viagra for your junk and... Starcraft for your cranium?

That's right, world domination is great for grandpa's mental health, even if he's only conquering from behind a computer screen. Researchers at the University of Illinois instructed one group of elderly volunteers to play Rise of Nations for 23.5 hours and another group to sit around being old. After just a day's worth of real-time strategy games, the first group saw marked improvements in multitasking, concentration and short-term memory, all the while having fun and ignoring the looming specter of death.

The cognitive gains from gaming aren't exclusive to the Greatest Generation. In fact, whippersnappers like you can boost your attention span by living vicariously through the oldies. Researchers from the University of Rochester and University of Queensland studied the brains of gamers who played Medal of Honor and Tetris. The MoH players, who had to multitask in a 3D world, scored higher on cognitive tests than the Tetris players, who were busy zeroing in on single descending block at a time. Once again, the killing games worked better. We knew it!

Did you bomb your MCATs? If it was because you spent the prior evening dominating the Ms. Pac-Man leaderboard at your corner tavern, don't give up your med school dreams just yet. A 2003 Iowa State study says your drunken, cirrhotic ass is doctor material, dammit.
ISU researchers tasked doctors and medical school residents with three different games testing motor skills and hand-eye coordination. Those surgeons who got in at least three hours of gaming a week conducted laparoscopic surgery 27 percent faster with around 37 percent less mistakes.
Just to clarify, laparoscopic surgeons use fiber optic cameras and joysticks to navigate the body's cramped, blood-filled tunnels. So yeah, laparoscopic surgery is exactly like Doom 3.

The benefits of this gaming regimen are pretty significant. According to study participant Dr. James Rosser, the difficulty of laparoscopic surgery is on par with "tying your shoelaces with three-foot-long chopsticks."
Well, if you put it like that, Dr. Rosser, we'll revise our analogy: Laparoscopic surgery is like Ninja Gaiden, but you have to beat the game without killing anybody.
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For more video games fun--as if you don't get enough already--check out The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey and 10 Video Games That Should Be Considered Modern Art.
And stop by Twitter to get previews of upcoming articles and trick your friends into thinking you're psychic.








Video games aren't saving anything. Legalization of marijuana and free jobs are this generations biggest concerns; "saving" people isn't that big on the list.
ReplyOne more thing; N64 controllers help children develop their third arm.
ReplyI don't see how Super Mario Sunshine would help with pro-social behaviour, considering how frustrating it is. Get the kids to play Corona Mountain, then we'll see who's more co-operative.
ReplyVideo game also improved my thumb muscle. It can be useful for surprise anal probing and other stuff.
ReplyHow does "Surprise anal probing" have so many thumb downs? WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES DAMN IT
Guess they just didn't like the idea of thumbs up their behinds.
"I don't even know what the f**k we're talking about anymore."-Photo Research Department.
Replyhahahahahaha i lol´ed so hard
I'm still laughing at the Death picture in #2.
ReplyTo quote that heavy metal guy who plays 10 hours of shooting games a day in that Penn and Teller: Bullshit episode about violent videogames...Jack Thompson is a f*****g asshole.
ReplyHas anyone else noticed that the N64 controller in the title picture has no A nor B button?
ReplyOf course. Gaming improves eyesight.
I must point out that the WoW plague was not handled at all like a real world disease. It got out to everyone else because some high level players realized they could teleport it back to the regular world. Where they spread it without mercy. Even infecting shop owners who couldn't die just so everyone who talked to them would get killed. It almost wiped out all of WoW. Blizzard had to reboot the servers to fix it. Considering it almost instantly killed you there was no one to heal. So, that's wrong. You guys even did an article about it. http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-biggest-dick-moves-in-history-online-gaming/
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesthat DOES sound just like the real world
What part of a disease spreading without mercy, infecting absolutely anyone regardless of race or social status is not like a real-world disease?
I'm still moving to Madagascar.
The point of the article was that it was more like an example of bio-terrorism than a regular epidemic.
"Improve Your Eyesight": Only some of the games do that, according to the study you cite.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHoly shit! That's what this exact article says too! If only you had actually read the words you are criticizing!?
To be fair, Tanglebones, the article said nothing about gaming improving people's reading comprehension.
Well, maybe he needs more StarCraft to take care of his senility.
Gah, who the hell is the editor here? Pay attention! The word "but" does not start sentences!
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesYou're wrong. "But" CAN start a sentence. Not always appropriate, but it can.
Jesus dude, go back to Nazi Grammar School. The first thing any burgeoning grammar nazi learns is that 90% of the rules you learned in your 5th grade composition class were wrong. "But" and "and" can both begin sentences, but doing so calls attention to the conjunction, so you want to have a good reason to emphasize is. Furthermore, doing it too often (say maybe more than once a page) makes your prose appear choppy. It's not wrong, per se, it's just stylistically ugly.
Also, before you begin down the grammar nazi path, you need to ask yourself a very important question: "Which is more important, your need to appear to be a douche canoe on the internet, or accepting the fact that there may occasionally be "errors" on the internet?"
What? No, it's perfectly acceptable to start a sentence with "But" remember that a comma joins two separate ideas. I went to the store, but it was closed. Each phrase can stand on its own. Let's say I want to add a third idea into the sentence. I could go crazy and use a semicolon. I went to the store; it was closed, and I couldn't buy eggs It works, but it's clumsy I went to the store to buy eggs. But I didn't, it was closed. Perfectly legal. I would opt for "however". "But works for a conversational tone.
You would do this to draw attention to the fact that I didn't buy the eggs by frontloading the conjunction. Like anything in English it is a best practice to not frontload conjunctions unless there is a reason to do so. Read a style manual before you go spouting off lines from your middle school English class
Tanglebones: "douche canoe" just made me spew my coffee all over my keyboard. Thank you.
But will it run crysis?
ESL grammar nazi. Then again most of them are.
Why does erotic tetris need to exist? Why must there be rule f*****g 34 for TETRIS?! WHY DAMMIT?!
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesNo exceptions.
Nothing is sacred.
Just wait until Rule 34 on Rule 34 shows up. Head explosion right there.
The more sacred, pure, and holy something is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
Uh, because Tetris is sexy. All of those pieces jamming into each other until they burst together when all their gaps are filled...
"I wanted to destroy something beautiful"
Also, that IS incredibly sexy...You gave my ears a boner, and you just finished them off
Every article is now ruined thanks to that stupid bar, why? why do you chose invase ads like this?hey you might is well shove it up your arse!
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYou mean the Social bar thing on the left side? Yeah it's pretty annoying . . . i wonder if there's a chrome extension to get rid of it . . .
try adjusting your screen size dipshits
If you don't want ads, use AdBlock Plus. It's available for IE, Chrome and Firefox now.
"she-cow sorcerers"
Reply1) Cows are female.
2) A female sorcerer is a sorceress.
I wonder.
double negative... or you've just imploded our universe.
Maybe She-cow is a minotaur superhero, similar to He-man.
"Beat Ninja Gaiden without killing anybody."
ReplyCracked a few ribs.
Very interesting. It's so informative and so funny. It's perfect
ReplyWell then f**k trying to write for the internet!
ReplyAnyone need any surgery? I'm not licensed or trained, by I'm good
#1 has been around for a long time. My husband was told to play Paperboy with a patch over his good eye decades ago when they realized he was legally blind in the other one. They told him at 12 that he'd never drive a car because of it, and while that one eye is still horrible, he drives and sees just fine.
ReplyPlaying Monster Hunter has taught me to prepare and memorize; as an SnS if I forgot something I'm at a clear disadvantage, I will never again forget to bring energy drinks when fighting the Lagiacrus
ReplyA lot of these studies need some follow up/good research methods. Yes, multitasking in a game is going to do more for you than doing absolutely nothing. I didn't really need a study for that lol
Reply