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So yet another study came out a few weeks ago, saying gamers are lonely, overweight and depressed. We're not surprised, this marks about 30 straight years of hearing people claim that games will transform us all into uncivilized, halfwit lard-asses. But gamers have science on their side, too, and studies that show that games may be turning us into a race of compassionate, keenly analytical lard-asses. According to studies, games... #6.
Improve Your Eyesight
In our fantasy hospital, where bourbon Jacuzzi treatments are covered by HMOs, optometrists would simply hand you a copy of Call of Duty instead of prescribing you glasses. Thanks to a 2006 study by the University of Rochester, our totally stupid dreams are now a smidge closer to a totally stupid reality.
In order to conduct this study, the Rochester team first had the Herculean task of finding college students who rarely played video games. After coaxing test subjects out of their caves and dens, the researchers had half the students play Unreal Tournament and the other half play Tetris over the course of a month. After 30 days of fragging, the Unreal group improved their vision by 20 percent on eye exams. A more recent Rochester study using first-person shooters increased weekly play to 50 hours over nine weeks. This time the Unreal gamers saw a 43 percent increase in their ability to distinguish between shades of gray.
And the Tetris players? They reported no increase in visual acuity. That's right; it's the murder that made them see better. #5.
Relieve Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
A game of Tetris has many practical applications, from speeding up a boring subway ride to waiting out a bashful bowel movement. But did you know that the game can wash away painful, indelible memories? You may think nyet, but psychologists at Oxford University say da. The researchers exposed 40 healthy volunteers to a series of highly upsetting images. After this montage, half the group played Tetris while the other 20 sat around with nothing to do but bawl their eyes out over what we suspect was a slideshow of injured puppies.
In the proceeding weeks, those who played Tetris experienced fewer traumatic flashbacks than those who didn't. The study speculates that the short-term analytical rigors of a Tetris game interfered with the subjects' ability to store long-term sensory memories. Or, to put it in sensationally unscientific terms, the game was erasing the players' minds. There are limits to Tetris' cognitive magic. Tetris can only downplay traumatic events happening within the previous six hours, so if you've just seen an Uwe Boll flick, grab a Game Boy, pronto. Also, games other than Tetris don't seem to induce this emotional amnesia--for example, venting with Mortal Kombat after getting dumped will do nothing except maybe give you night terrors about Goro sexing your ex.
Unfortunately, the Oxford team didn't factor in the variable of Erotic Tetris, which we hypothesize would've yielded even fewer flashbacks at the expense of any and all of their grant money. #4.
Make You Nicer (Some of Them, Anyway)
Is all the racism, gay-bashing and sheer fuckwittery in the Halo 3 pre-game lobby jaundicing you against your fellow gamer? Perhaps if you played a less bloody game, that 13-year-old from Albuquerque wouldn't be so raring to inform you that he enjoys teabagging your dead grandmother. God forbid, he may just be polite.
A recent Iowa State study supports this line of thought. Researchers took 161 students and assigned each of them one of six games; three "violent" and three "pro-social" (including Super Mario Sunshine, where the player has to clean up graffiti). After a 20-minute gaming session, the gamers paired up and assigned their partners ten puzzles, knowing the partner would win a gift certificate for completing the puzzle. Interestingly, the pro-social gamers tended to aid partners with easier puzzles. As for the violent gamers, they got off on torturing their partners with brainteasers. The "pro social" games simply put the kids in a nicer mood. And a German study confirmed it. In that one, having gamers play Lemmings (which involves saving the relentlessly suicidal Lemmings) made them exhibit more pro-social tendencies after playing. See? It works both ways, Jack Thompson.
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Too bad for tetris :(, still very good news for me, im gonna make my parents read this :D :P .
love me my video games
This article makes me exceptionally happy. I'm going to go play some video games.
Totally amazed that Tetris can wash away painful and indelible memories. I guess psychiatrist and psychologist can now suggest this game to their patients with severe depression? And to those who are against these video games, maybe you're enlightened now. We all have our preferences when it comes to video games, others just like the casual ones while some enjoy MMOs. For those who are undecided yet what MMO to play, check this out: http://www.articlesxarticles.com/internet/choosing-the-right-mmo-for-you.html
Number 5 in that list explains a lot to me at last. I can't remember anything in the years 1997 and 1998 due to a very traumatic time in the family but I was constantly playing videogames every day as a kid. I guess I was relieved of the PTSD in the family thanks to Ocarina of Time.
i'm a surgeon. i play a lot of console games. it's true.
i'm a surgeon. i play a lot of console games. it's true.
Ninja Gaiden...f**k that. lol That's insanity right there. I loved that you used a game that's not out yet. Starcraft II. What a dream it will be when released.
I played Lemmings and it addicted me all over again, and also I would like to say that I've invented a word to describe the birds in Ninja Gaiden: f*groin***ass**c**tits.
I KNEW IT!!
you know what's great? I graduated high school by writing a paper that pretty much said everything in this article.
Is that seriously what Jack Thompson looks like? Hear I am thinking Phillip Garrido looks creepy and you show me this? Fuck you cracked, f**k you very much.
That World of Warcraft thing really was a dream come true. It gave a new tool for the tracking of disease with a very accurate simulation of real disease spread. The only problem is that death in WoW is more of a minor inconvenience than anything else so some people were running into infected areas for fun.
Halo is for f*gs.
If our society tracks disease based on that warcraft bulls**t story, run. Run as far as you can because you're all f**ked.
i head the epilepsy department down at sick kids and just throw on GTA4 for the kids whenever i need a ciggy break, works like a charm
#3 is total bulls**t, stupid lazy-ass cracked. Good enough article though.
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Lol, have to beat Ninja Gaiden w/o killing anyone... Playing that game is like curing cancer.... WITH A MILLION FUCKING ASSASIN NINJAS SLICING YOU UP!
Well, the comments apparently don't respect line breaks. The links will work if you copy and past them.
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